The annoying & rude comments thread - Page 2

[allical1284]

LOL at all the DP's and their humor!

DH calls me "Big Momma" all the time; I find it hilarious! He even has DD saying it now.  Anytime I try to do anything, he pulls out the big momma comment; ex: "Oh, Big Momma let me help you off of that couch (dramatically assists me in getting up off of the couch)" LOL!

I use it to my advantage as well; anytime he asks me to do something (wash a load of clothes that has something he needs in it), I use the "I'm Big Momma; I can't carry that basket across the house" line :D

[jenniferadurham]

I haven't had any comments really at all this pg.

DH pointed to my belly tonight and said to our 2 year old son..."look what daddy did!" lol

My last pg I got big fast...I was skinny to start off with...and my MIL would not stop saying that I was having twins bc I was so big. She never said that this time...but I did bring it up the other day and rolled my eyes and gave a pouty lip at her when I said it...lol!

[mrsberman]

This entire pregnancy I have been getting the twin comment from customers at work. And then when my back is turned and I'm waling away I hear "She's gotta be having twins!" Seriously, wouldn't I know by now? I am "bigger" than I was with DD and people who saw me then are aware of this, but they also know I got wider everywhere else and this helped to hide the pregnancy for a little bit. This time I'm all belly and it's huge!

Last weekend I got the best of the worst comments from a customer (never seen her before). She stopped me and said "Are you having a girl? You must be. I can tell by how it sucks all the energy out of your face..." and then she kept going on and on. Really lady, I've been up all day, it's almost midnight and I'm having crazy BHs because of your God awful karoake singing!

[caitryn]

Well, I carry small, so people act really surprised when I tell them how far along I am.  Apparently, I look closer to 6 months than 8.5 months. One random woman told me that I must be going to have a really small baby then and didn't seem like she believed me when I said the ultrasound put my daughter in the 50th percentile (meaning 100% average!)

I've made jokes all along about how, since we already have a boy and this one is a girl, that we will have a complete set (though we're not sure yet if we're done or not.)  This has allowed me to have a decent sense of humor/good attitude at the number of people who have said that we can stop now since we will have one of each.

The saddest for me is my own mom making the occasional comment that we don't need anymore children after this one.  I honestly hope it's because we didn't have our own place at the time I got pregnant and were living with my parents.  She's seemed more excited about the baby since we've moved out.  It still depresses me, though.

The absolute rudest thing I've heard though, was from an ex-coworker.  She knew about our son, so when I told her that this one was a girl, she told me that as soon as she's born, I need to get my husband fixed!  We have one of each and don't need anymore, so I need to drop the money to make sure he can't get me pregnant again.  WTF?! 

[jenniferadurham]

Originally Posted by mrsberman 

This entire pregnancy I have been getting the twin comment from customers at work. And then when my back is turned and I'm waling away I hear "She's gotta be having twins!" Seriously, wouldn't I know by now? I am "bigger" than I was with DD and people who saw me then are aware of this, but they also know I got wider everywhere else and this helped to hide the pregnancy for a little bit. This time I'm all belly and it's huge!

Last weekend I got the best of the worst comments from a customer (never seen her before). She stopped me and said "Are you having a girl? You must be. I can tell by how it sucks all the energy out of your face..." and then she kept going on and on. Really lady, I've been up all day, it's almost midnight and I'm having crazy BHs because of your God awful karoake singing!

did you ask her what HER excuse was....WE are pregnant, WE dont have a choice....


Just like when over weight people comment on how 'big' WE look pg....'what's YOUR excuse NOT being pg...'


Does being stared at count as annoying and rude? If so sign me up! I haven't gotten it that much this pg...but with my DS it was BAD! It's like I wasn't even there and they were staring straight at me then they scan their eyes to my belly and make some sort of expression like 'holy sh!t she is big and pg!!'

[Geist]

I've made jokes all along about how, since we already have a boy and this one is a girl, that we will have a complete set (though we're not sure yet if we're done or not.)  This has allowed me to have a decent sense of humor/good attitude at the number of people who have said that we can stop now since we will have one of each.

Hah, I've gotten that comment, too. "Oh, now you'll have one of each!" We're definitely not done yet, but at least as we continue to have kids (2 more, at least), no one will annoy me by assuming that we're just trying to get the gender we don't have. I've always wanted a good mixture of boys and girls :)

[Stayseeliz]

A total stranger told me yesterday that I "needed to learn how to keep my legs closed" when I mentioned I was pregnant with my 4th. I said that we'd always wanted 4 so we were pretty excited and she muttered something about super glue and walked away. I know I'll be getting a lot of comments from people when I'm out and about with all the kids but I can't believe how rude this woman was. I tried to be nice but just wow. I don't see why people think they need to comment about this kind of thing at all. Why is it their business??

[Neuromancer]

This wasn't a rude comment, per se -- just rudeness:

I got on the subway the other day after work.  The car was pretty crowded.  I find I get offered a seat about 50-60% of the time -- but only if I unzip my winter coat so people can't just pretend that it's all padding.  This afternoon, I was standing almost directly in front of five high school girls.  One said loudly, "She's pregnant! You should give her a seat!" to her friend.  Then they (not quietly) discussed whether or not to offer me a seat -- right in front of me. They ultimately decided not to because they were squeezed together and two of them would have had to stand up (which wasn't even true; one of them was sitting next to a pole and if she had gotten up I could have taken that place and the other four could have stayed seated).  I was so embarrassed for them that they had no shame in discussing it right in front of me, but they weren't embarrassed at all!  I couldn't even make eye contact with them because I had a feeling they wanted me to, so that they could get even more attention. 

[msmiles]

OH. MAN. YES!!

@guppiegirl, gagin37, ericaRN, kittn...because using government assistance is the real concern, isn't it? 

  so sorry for the soap box rant, but it kills me that there's so much concern and debate over women's bodies recently, and it's a total catch 22. being up the duff is evidently the only legitimate role a female can play in this political climate (considering abstinence education and the defunding of PP and so on), and yet we're also a threat to the deficit if we have children young or if we have more than two, or we're not spacing children at the appropriate times, although timing is a more confused notion than it is a consensus…either pregnant or not pregnant (not pregnant = concerning our menstruation or our employment status), our bodies just can't be adequately under someone's control. it's the bristol palin/natalie portman contradiction. it's alright if bristol is a single mother, because she chose life, but it's a morass if natalie is expecting, even though she is earning her own wealth and has a partner. our bodies just act so craAAAaaaAAzzZZYYyy! these comments made to us are just indicative of how we are just a walking comment box. i'ma definitely start using that one (8 kids + welfare!) if anyone comments on my size, though. 

@mrsbone, i'm feeling you. i have a 2 yo boy and am expecting a girl, and i can bet on a comment like "oh, one of both, so you're all set!" thank you for giving me my fertility cut off point, random stranger. but you're absolutely right, pregnant women's bodies are just open for discussion in a way that regular bodies aren't. i have to remind myself that most comments are just vomited out, too. there's just this compulsion to touch pregnant bodies physically or through commentary. although that doesn't make them any less honest, i have to breathe and remember...well thought out, evidential and original…no.

@oregonicmama, immediately i cringe when i prepare to read posts about what husbands say to their pregnant wives…but it would have made my day if my husband had given me such ingenious descriptions like "bear gullet," "tanker," and "love boat." 

anyway, i originally just wanted to mention that every time my neighbor sees me (every. day.), she says, "so you're still pregnant, huh?" or "how's the baby doing?"  Drives me crazy. this is the same woman who moved here and had nothing to say to me except how much she hates how her freedom and career was stolen by motherhood, and then, when i became visibly pregnant, mentions at least weekly that she cant wait to have another one…even though her husband is not on board at all. 

[caitryn]

I also loved when, while pregnant with DS, I was walking through the hospital where I was WORKING and got stopped by some random lady to ask me how bit my litter was going to be?  How freakin rude!  (She also informed that she wasn't going to babysit, and I still didn't have any idea who she was until almost a week later when I found out she was my MIL's friend. Ugg.)

A good friend of mine had one of the more interesting stories, though.  To summarize, she was standing in line waiting to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy when a woman behind her started going off on her for being pregnant.  "You know if you kept your legs together that wouldn't happen."  When my friend replied that that would have defeated the purpose, the woman acted all shocked and started going off on her about "ruining that kid's life" and asking her who was going to take care of it and complaining about there being another welfare baby on the way.  She had assumed that because my friend was wearing a hoodie that she was a teenager.  She is actually a married 34-year-old.  Needless to say that after losing three children to miscarriage, she is quite proud to be carrying this baby.  By the time my friend was through verbally laying into this woman with the facts of life, the offender left the store so fast there was smoke lining her tracks. :)

I do not understand what gives people the perceived right to make comments and pass judgment on a woman just because she is pregnant.  It's not like it's a normal biological process meant to keep our species from becoming extinct or anything silly like that.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

here's my first one, although i don't know if my grandma was trying to be rude, but definitely sounded like it, lol. She had twins, and she told me I look like she did when she was about to have the twins...My comment back was well they were about 4lbs each and my baby is going to be about 9lbs. Plus she had them about 5 weeks early so had she gone full term she would have been way bigger  I imagine. Most people have told me I am all belly, my belly does look really big, but I am very small chested, so that just makes the belly look even bigger because I am just A and taller and not carrying around DD's up top to minimize my baby bump , lol!

[Bird Girl]

Well, I've gotten several queries about when the baby will be here (since I'm obviously so big...) but then, two weeks in a row, two women in my homeschooling group were shocked to learn that I was expecting...and this is my 8th month! Um, OK, so either I'm about to explode or I've just put on a few pounds...Strange.

Most people's comments are more about themselves and their own issues than about you, anyhow.

[MnMtm]

I am a nurse, and work in a long term care unit with a lot of pt's with Alzhiemer's and other forms of dementia, so I get all sorts of comments, but of course, I just laugh it off. I had one older male patient poke my belly and say, "Looks like you had a good time!" Another patient asks me the same questions everytime I walk by her. We have probably had the same conversation about my pregnancy 100 times by now.

[mrsberman]

Originally Posted by MnMtm 

I am a nurse, and work in a long term care unit with a lot of pt's with Alzhiemer's and other forms of dementia, so I get all sorts of comments, but of course, I just laugh it off. I had one older male patient poke my belly and say, "Looks like you had a good time!" Another patient asks me the same questions everytime I walk by her. We have probably had the same conversation about my pregnancy 100 times by now.

:) LOL. I repeat conversations with customers at work too, but they don't have Alzhiemer's...some of them just drink too much and can't remember our last conversation.

[kgreenemama]

Between my first pregnancy and this one, these are comments I heard from people - some weird, some annoying, all with good intentions, I'm sure.

I hope that's DECAF in your mug.

You don't even look pregnant from the back.

Did you plan to get pregnant on your honeymoon? (YES, btw!!!)

Any day now, huh? (At 34 weeks.)

You're going to deliver soon. I can tell by your lips. (wtf?)

Natural birth, hm. You must be from a farm family.

I've also been asked so many times when my due date is, that I've just started making up random dates. Like the 4th of July or November 23rd. People are funny.

[hasya]

One from a skinny one, saying that I must be having twins, I was so big - at 32 w. This, right after a grandmother of several kids told me that I am all belly and that it is cute and round.

I have one reverse of rude - I took the same campus bus everyday for 4 months (almost). The driver recognized me and would some times make fun of me if I took a cab, in a lighthearted way. I thought that she knew that I was pregnant; granted, I had a winter coat on. In the 9th month, I couldn't take the pain with commuting anymore, so I decided to take mat leave. I told her that I'll see her several months later and she was so surprised when I told her that I was pregnant, and technically, any day now. Then, she connected the dots with my taking a cab to the bus at times, lol. She made me "model" for another driver, asking him to guess what was different about me, lol. She was cute. It was very funny, and kind of nice to someone who had just started having massive water retention!

I was almost never given a seat on the subway. But looking back on how the driver who saw me all the time and spoke with me all the time too didn't realize that I was pregnant, I suppose I can't blame these people.

[calebsmama03]

Any rude comments I've gotten have been form my MIL or mom.  I feel giant compared to my other 2 but I actually carry really small and have barely gained 20lb at 36w.  I'l all belly but my MIL keeps pointing out that I'm HUGE (perhaps compared to a size 2 prepreg, yes I look "huge" but considering I'm 9 months pg with my 3rd baby and I can still button my regular jacket and fit into some pre-pg pants and shirts I'd hardly call me huge!).  Then the random strangers and other general aquaintances who either didn't realize I was pg at all till 5-6 weeks ago and who still claim to be shocked when I say I'm due April 6.  People just have their own ideas about what our bodies SHOULD look like and feel compelled to tell us.

My fave is the comments on spacing.  DS is 8, DD is almost 6 so people always assume this was an "oops" and ask if we'll be "getting things fixed" after this time.  WTF?  Usually I just ignore but it's sometimes fun to see the looks on people's faces when I say that actually this one was quite planned and although the spacing is a bit farther than we'd hoped due to losing a few before this one, we're in fact quite thrilled to be going back to diapers and no sleep again. 

[Blanca78]

Kgreenemama, that farm family comment is hilarious!

For a while when I was first announcing the pregnancy I got a lot of "was it planned?"

Apart from that, what I've heard over and over is 'you look tiny!" but nothing nasty or totally off the wall--I think because with the winter coat and all it's just not that obvious to people. Yesterday picking up takeout the older lady at the register said, "I think your baby likes Chinese food," which was kinda weird but sweet the way she said it. And going through airport security the metal detector guy gave me a big grin and said "Hey Mommy, how are you today?" and asked when I was due, which was sweet and friendly.

The other thing I noticed was flying this past weekend no one ever even mentioned to me that I should go through the naked machine scanner, even though other passengers were--I can only guess that they figured I'd decline anyway being pregnant? Anyway, it was great not to have to choose between a pat down and radiation.

[mclisa]

I had one person who said (when they heard that I had 5 other kids):

Gee, you should keep a nickel between  your knees.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I had a border patrol officer tell me today....whilst i was sitting in my SUV....that i didnt look pregnant at all. Man...he must see alot of women with big bellies and be totally immune to it or something.

Then at Mcallisters Deli the lady behind the counter says...well you dont look big at all. HELLOOOOO..i've gained 50lbs and i am freaking ginormous....at least give me some credit for caring such a big baby.