Please stop the W H I N N N N N E E E E E E E E E E voice

[AllisonR]

OMG it is so unpleasant and annoying. DS is 6 and never had a big whine stag. DD went through a small whine stage around age 3. Boy did I think I had that under control. I just said "I am so sorry I can't understand you when you whine like that. Talk normally and then I will be happy to listen." She would whine 2 or 3 more times, but eventually ask in a pleasant voice. So I thought that was successful. 

Now she is 4.5 yo and suddenly, or maybe not so suddenly, her whining voice is back. And it is a full-on awful WHIIINNNNEEE. Seems constant. She whines when she is happy, when she is sad, when she wants something, when she just wants to comment on something.... Both DH and I tell her we will listen when she stops whining, but she just continues the same comment in whine voice. Over and over, no matter how many times we ask her to ask nicely. After 5-10 tries she might ask more pleasantly, but it is still at "half-whine". Ugh. DH has gotten so frustrated a few times that he whined back to her, so she could hear how awful it sounds. I don't like this, not sure why, but I don't actually blame him; it is frustrating. I'm big into natural consequences, but sometimes I can't figure out what the natural consequence should be, or the consequence will punish DS as well, which is not fair to him at all. I need to nip this in the bud now though. I can only see it getting worse, and it is ugly already. Suggestions?

[ecoteat]

I've tried saying I can't understand dd when she whines, which helps sometimes, but not consistently. I think what works best for us is to specify exactly what kind of voice I do expect to hear. Lately I've been saying "try saying that again with a strong, confident voice" or something like that. She seems to respond better to specific guidance than to a plea to stop whining.

[pianojazzgirl]

Do you model a "non-whiny" voice for her in the moment?  Instead of just asking her to repeat in a non-whiny voice, maybe actually say it for her and ask her to repeat what you said/the way you said it.  Ex. dd: "mommmmmm...... I want WAAATERRRR!!!!!", you: "mom, may I have some water please?".  This has worked with my 6yo dd (when she was going through that phase... I'm happy to report it seems to be over now!).  I have also had to send her to a different room if the whining didn't get under control.  It's kind of like "inside voice" and "outside voice"... the "whiny voice" is not appropriate in the common living space.  Feel free to whine to your heart's content in the privacy of your own room, and if you're ready to talk normally then feel free to join us again!