Yeah, there's a very good chance that it's my individual body. I had always thought of u/s as safe before that. Not something I wanted to do more than a few times, but generally safe. But of course, when pregnancy innocence goes, it's very hard not to lose it about other things, too.
And there's another good point--since I won't have a d&c because the risks aren't worth it (unless I have risk factors, obviously--I'm really scared about how much damage it could do with my cesarean scar and the potential scarring from my endo) I don't WANT to know if it happens, ya know? I've watched so many mamas waiting weeks, even months, for the baby to pass and... I don't know if I could handle that. I don't want to, I know that. I do wish I could peek in there and see the little critter forming, though.
Every crampy twinge sends me into another fit of worry. I had PMS symptoms down to cramps with my first DD for about 4 weeks (week 4-8, roughly). I really hate this stage of pregnancy now. I'm not showing, I can't talk about it on FB (until DH tells his parents), I'm exhausted and weak and today I was so dizzy at the store that when my four year old moved the cart and I didn't have it to grab, I ended up falling and couldn't get my equilibrium enough to stand up without help.
I had to POAS this morning to finally get that strong, definite line and really, really believe it (I'm over a week late and still have trouble believing it... but I'm really good at denial--I was convinced for 4 weeks after my BFP HPT with my first that I just had a tumor or something, lol). It was such a relief and I felt like I have permission to feel pregnant now, lol--I'm sure that sounds silly.