PAL (Pregnancy After Loss) Mamas November 2011 - Page 6

[5xcharm]

sagewinna- I think it is great news and you should keep in positive spirits.  Sometimes life surprises us

Motivatedmomma- I think we all need reassurance sometimes and that's part of the reason we see the midwife.  I hope that after your visit your heart will be at ease.

Mom2isa-I agree that Isa is a big sister, and am so sorry about Ana.  Keep your hopes up it sounds like it should be fine.

rachel88-I am in the same boat with the pregnancy symtoms, even though they aren't fun, they are a good sign.

I just wanted to tell all of you that I am so hopefull and sending good vibes your way!

[Motivated Mama]

Counting down the hours until my ultrasound. 7 weeks today.

[apmama07]

Positive thoughts for you Nina! Can't wait to hear good news from you.

[baltimoremomtobe]

Today would have been my due date.  I lost my baby in September at 10 weeks.  Luckily, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago (due 11/25).  I guess I should say I was also lucky (although hyperventilating) to find out I am pregnant with TWINS this past Wednesday. 

Since this is another PAL and twins, I am more concerned than ever about another loss.  I am almost 36 years old so I am even more nervous.  I'm trying to stay positive and not overthink things to much.  Glad to have this forum to share my thoughts and feelings.

[Motivated Mama]

welcome baltimore!

My ultrasound went great. Only one baby in there measuring 7w3d and with a hr of 153. I think I can finally breathe a sigh of relief and I really think that this is going to happen. My 8 week loss last August was a blighted ovum so now that I've seen a baby with a beating heart, I'm just so relieved. We told parents today too.

[apmama07]

Yay Nina!!!! What great news, so glad you can breathe easier.

Welcome baltimore and on your milestone, I know how hard those can be. Congrats on the twins, how exciting!! Hope you'll find the support you need here - the PAL forum has some wonderful helpful mamas too. I lived in B-more for a few years, we're down in Annapolis now. Small world. ;)

[baltimoremomtobe]

Congrats, Nina!  You must be breathing a sigh of relief.  Glad to hear things are looking good for you!  Definitely keep us posted.

@Megan...thanks for the .  Today is obviously a little easier to deal with since I am pregnant again, but still nervous about the potential outcome.  Baby dust  and positive vibes to everyone

[xakana]

Hooray, Nina!

[xakana]

Congrats, Baltimore!

Every day gets harder not to pull out the doppler and check, since I"m 9 weeks and still can't feel my uterus :(

In fact, I just broke down and checked. Something with a really fast heart swam away from me, I'm pretty sure!

Edited by xakana - 4/2/11 at 1:04pm

[tank]

I'm in both Oct DDC and this one because I am due on the 31st.  It is realiving to see all of the oct PAL mamas make it over to the 2nd trimester.  That means we can't be far behind.

I had sort of a fake scare the other day.  I had been put on antibiotics for Group B Strep and it messed with my chemistry so I felt like I was starting to get a yeast infection.  I also had been scratching a bit.  I went to the bathroom and wiped and saw blood and freaked.  After further investigation I was bleeding from the outside from so much irritation.  But I freaked out and even after I had figured out where it was coming from I still questioned myself.  I feel better though. Everything feels okay.

I just can't wait for my appointment in a little more than a week to try and hear the HB with a doppler.  I am also really nervous.  Things are different this time which makes me a little more confident.  My belly has started to grow.  Last time I gained some weight but my belly never got hard and popped out like it is doing now.  That makes me feel a lot better.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

[Pickleopolous]

Hello everyone.  I hope it's ok for me to post here since I'm not due until Dec., but we don't have  a PAL thread yet, so here I am.  Two years ago, I conceived naturally (I have PCOS and don't ovulate often).  That ended in miscarriage.  The u/s showed growth had stopped at 5weeks 3 days.  Since then, I've had two confirmed chemical pregnancies and one suspected.  Now I'm pregnant again.  I've had three betas showing great numbers and my symptoms have been good.  However, I'm at 5weeks 2 days today, and I'm a complete nervous wreck.  I'm not as hungry as I was two days ago, but no other symptoms have changed--still tired, tender boobs, emotional, sensitive sense of smell, but I can't get over the decrease in appetite.  

So, have any of you ever had good betas and good symptoms only to go on an have another loss?  Do your symptoms fluctuate?  How do I relax?  I am having so much trouble feeling like this is going to be ok.  I want to enjoy the fact that I am pregnant, but I just....can't.

Thanks for any responses.

ETA: My first two pregnancies were fine.  It's been since my last child that we've had such trouble.

[baltimoremomtobe]

Hi Pickle,

I wish I knew how to ease your stress.  I have only had losses so I don't know what a "normal" pregnancy feels like.  With this pregnancy, I went from having only occasional lower abdominal cramps and minor fatigue to full-blown fatigue and nausea (which fluctuates with periods of immense hunger and thirst) right around 6 weeks.  I'm only 6w2d right now so who knows what I'll feel like next week?  With my last pregnancy we actually saw a heartbeat then boom two weeks later I found out I'd lost the baby (Baby was so sticky s/he didn't want to come out on her own...we induced with Cytotec and then ended up with a D&C since I had retained parts).  During that pregnancy, my betas were good but progesterone had dropped (from 25 -> 16) so they'd put me on Prometrium.  In retrospect that was probably a "sign" that things didn't bode well for that pregnancy.

I am a nurse (an OB nurse, btw) and I can read the literature over and over again, but it doesn't necessarily make me feel any less at ease.  All of the docs/nurses say that symptoms are different with each pregnancy and that each pregnancy is different for each individual woman.  Meaning, you might not have nausea and still be okay.  You might have nausea and still end up with a loss.  Im not a religious person, but I really like the saying, "let go and let God".  Because really what can we do at this early stage of the game besides wait and pray that everything turns out okay?

Just know we are all here to support you (and each other) and we have all walked this difficult road of pregnancy after loss.  I wish sticky babies for all of us (and in my case, TWO sticky babies, since I am pregnant with twins).  Hugs

[baltimoremomtobe]

@ Tank-

I'm just curious why they'd be treating you for GBS so early in the pregnancy?  Do they think GBS might increase your r/o m/c?  I've never heard of someone being treated in the first trimester.  Also, the irritation is most likely causing all of that bleeding.  Ugh...the itchiness is unbearable...I've had my fair share of yeast infections and definitely do not envy you right now.  Get yourself some good yogurt and probiotics!

[tank]

Originally Posted by baltimoremomtobe 

@ Tank-

I'm just curious why they'd be treating you for GBS so early in the pregnancy?  Do they think GBS might increase your r/o m/c?  I've never heard of someone being treated in the first trimester.  Also, the irritation is most likely causing all of that bleeding.  Ugh...the itchiness is unbearable...I've had my fair share of yeast infections and definitely do not envy you right now.  Get yourself some good yogurt and probiotics!

I am taking probiotics now.  They are treating the GBS so early because they found it in my urine when I went to the midwife for the first time.  They weren't testing for it though, just found it.  They said that since it is in my urine that it must be strong and it can cause complications in pregnancy. 

[Pickleopolous]

Thank you Baltimore.  I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.  This is going to be a loooooong week as I wait for the 12th when I have my first u/s scheduled.  Here's hoping.

[Rachel88]

Baltimore – Congrats on the twins! A very good friend of mine just had twins last November after a loss earlier that year. Extra sticky dust to you.

Nina – great news! So happy for you. I can’t wait to reach our milestone.

Tank – I hope everything turns out alright. I will be praying for you.

Pickle – It is so hard to wait but the 12^th will be here before you know it.

Sorry if I missed anyone. i have been so sick that I have not been up for computer time lately. Good sign I know but still it is taking a toll on me.

AFM – We do not have another appointment until May 12^th. They said I could come in earlier if I wanted but that is the first time they can be sure they will be able to find a heartbeat on the Doppler. I would totally freak out if they could not find a heartbeat because that is how we discovered our missed m/c last time.

[apmama07]

Hi guys, sorry I've been totally MIA....just not a whole lot of computer time going on around here with DD's constant tantrums and DH working a second job now...ugh.

Anyway, I'll try to get caught up at least somewhat....

Tank, my sis had the same thing with GBS early in first tri, took the abx and was fine. She's like 28 weeks now. :) The book "The Natural Pregnancy Book" by Aviva Jill Romm has some fantastic suggestions for both the infection and dealing with the abx aftermath....

xanana - yay for a heartbeat on the doppler!!

Pickle - welcome! I've had the same thing with symptoms fluctuating in both this pregnancy (still good at 9w2d) and both "missed" losses (babies died at 5.5 weeks and 7 weeks, symptoms just kept going down until by 8-9 weeks totally gone - in retrospect they weren't really fluctuating so much as going away, but in the midst of it they seemed to go up and down). I have a couple of friends who have had it with healthy successful pregnancies recently. I know it doesn't help, but you're still so early and it's totally normal for the symptoms to shift around some, especially around 6 weeks, it's just on a day-to-day basis you can't see the bigger pattern yet.

My really early symptoms this time were completely dissipating 5.5 to 6 weeks and I was panicking, then a whole other round of much more intense and clear ones started around 6.4 weeks. Go figure. Again they started really dropping off at 8w6d and I've been worried again, but here I am at 9w2d with a heartbeat on the doppler!! So in the end, sadly, all we can do is hope and pray and do whatever we need to do to stay as peaceful as we can, right? As hard as it is to ignore them, I don't think symptoms really tell us that much either way, since there are plenty of successful pregnancies with no or unreliable symptoms (both my sister and close friend currently), and plenty of losses with strong symptoms. You can make yourself crazy analyzing it.

Big hugs to everyone as we play the waiting game....

[Motivated Mama]

So, analyzing things as I always do, I've realized that since they moved my dates ahead three days, I will now be the exact number of weeks and days that I lost my last baby on the due date of the last baby, tomorrow. Today I am 8w0d and that was when I had my first midwife appt last time and had started bleeding that morning. Today will be interesting. At least I know baby is alive this time. I'm so glad I had an ultrasound last week.

[xakana]

Just scheduled my first midwife appointment! :D

[5xcharm]

Tomorrow I am trying a visit with a Dr. I may be 10 wks according to LMP or 9 wks according to the ultrasound w heartbeat.  I really hope i hear the heartbeat on doppler, and don't know how to feel if I don't.  I have nausea but my pain from sch has gone away.  I hope that means the clot went away and baby is fine.  hopefully will know something tomorrow.  I am just nervous about babies well being.  I wish there was a window with a meter saying how happy they are in there!