PAL (Pregnancy After Loss) Mamas November 2011 - Page 3

[berry987]

AprilGlynn - I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet baby. What a huge loss. I hope you find some comfort in a new, healthy pregnancy.

[xakana]

travisannaharvey--I'll be making an appointment between weeks 10-12, because that's when the midwife starts seeing clients.

[apmama07]

xakana - Congrats on reaching another milestone!

Kami & Hykue - thank you so much for the reassuring words, they meant a lot and really helped....I've calmed down a lot and though I still don't have a great feeling about the u/s, I realized there really is no reason to freak out yet, everything but the progesterone looks good and there are plenty of people who carry to term with low progesterone! Hykue I think you're spot on about the expectations thing. I guess that's basically why this whole PAL gig is so rough, we're always second-guessing our gut. The way the last loss unfolded especially made me feel that way.

travisannaharvey, Motivated Mama, berry987 - welcome and congrats. Hope we're all in here together for a long time. :)

travisannaharvey I think many of us are more closely monitored/seen earlier by practitioners because of our losses, either for reassurance or because we have increased risk. Going through all of the repeat loss testing, I was found to have clotting disorders for instance, so I'm already under the care of a hematologist and RE and if we make it I'll see a perinatologist too. But many PAL mamas just see their practitioner earlier for some reassurance.

tank - glad to hear you're feeling so positive! I succumbed to a little retail therapy the other day too. ;) I think it's good to embrace the pregnancy in that way. I bought a couple of outfits for the last baby but didn't regret it one bit after he passed, in fact those have been nice tangible reminders that he existed.

berry987 - I'm so sorry about your bleeding this weekend. And what a distressing situation to be in, in a new place! Do you have any idea how many weeks you are? Any symptoms or change in symptoms? I would just take a stab at picking an OB (I'm generally a midwife person but it's been my experience and that of a couple of friends that midwives usually don't know what to do with first trimesters/problems/miscarriage, it's just not what they do and they don't handle it well) and call and tell them your background and situation. Call around until you find someone who will do the beta and see you asap, maybe even do an u/s if you want. Even if it doesn't end up being your perfect practitioner you can always change later.

AFM I'm hanging in there, my symptoms are getting stronger now that I've passed 6 weeks but I just don't put much stock in that anymore. I started using progesterone cream over the weekend cause, hey, it can't hurt. I'm so incredibly anxious for this u/s on Wednesday and I can't make any plans whatsoever for the rest of the week cause who knows how I'll be feeling! Maybe I'll be waiting to miscarry again....I want to think positively but BTDT too many times now going into early u/s that i just can't even picture them giving me good news and seeing a heartbeat. How sad is that? :<

[Motivated Mama]

How's this for bittersweet?

I was driving today and thinking, when will I be 8 weeks because that is when I lost the last baby. I will be 8 weeks on April 8th. I was due to have my last baby on April 6th. I can only imagine how stressful that week is going to be and I think it would kill me to lose another baby around the day I was supposed to have a baby. Please let this baby stick. Even though we weren't trying, please let this baby stick.

Here's another thing I wanted to share that really pissed me off. Two weeks ago (around the time I conceived ), I went out with some girlfriends. One of the girls asked me about having other children and I told her that we weren't really ready and that I couldn't imagine what it would be like now if I had my baby in April. So, she seriously said to me, "Aren't you kind of glad you had a miscarriage? Wasn't it a relief?" I think the look on my face said it all. I have a totally new perspective of this person I thought I might grow to like.

[xakana]

OMG, Nina! Just OMG! *hugs*

[travisannaharvey]

Just wanted to check in and thank everyone for being here. It's reassuring to be connected with people in a similar place. I wish I had more to offer in the way of "advice" to those with questions, but I'm pretty new to this ride so I'll sit back and let the experts step in. 

7w2d today and feeling "sensations" in the pelvic region. No way to know if things are just under construction down there or a miscarriage is looming and the suspense is so stressful! Trying to remain calm and be grateful for every moment.

Travis

[rhombus]

I concur that the suspense is stressful! My last pregnancy resulted in a second trimester loss, so I'll be pretty nervous for a while yet with this one. So far, so good, though! I don't know when I'll decide on a care provider and have my first appointment. I'm avoiding making those decisions until I tell my older children (12 and 5) the news.

It's good to know that there are so many others of you here who understand the tentative gladness that comes from being pregnant after a loss.

[tank]

The suspence is killing me too.  I lost my babe early last time but didn't miscarry until 12 weeks.  I had strong symptoms the whole time too.  I talked to my midwife about it and she reassured me the only thing I can do is wait.  I'm still trying to stay positive and act like there will be a happy ending to all this but I obviously have my doubts.

[apmama07]

3 hours till my ultrasound.....haven't had a positive experience with ultrasound since DD, 4 years ago....Feeling surprisingly peaceful but impossible to believe that I'll walk out of there with anything other than bad news, there's been so many bad ultrasounds this year....

[angelashn]

***Hugs*** I'm hoping for the best for you!

[Motivated Mama]

apmama I'm wishing the best for you.

I slept wonderfully last night. I did a little stalking last night for PAL babies due last month. Somebody else had mentioned doing that for a different month. Anyway, I only found positive outcomes and it really helped me to feel better. This just feels like it is going to be a very long pregnancy.

[CrunchyMamaAmanda]

Hello!  I just found out yesterday that I was pregnant.  I had a miscarriage in October the morning after I got my positive result.  It absolutely devastated me.  I took the test on my husband's birthday (as a present) and then taught our (at the time) 16 month old to say "happy."  I woke up the next morning to heavy bleeding and had clearly lost the baby.  The only thing that got me through was my daughter, Leah, saying, "Happy, mommy!" with a big smile on her face.  I was so grateful to have such a beautiful smiling girl.

We have been trying since then to get pregnant and every month I was disappointed.  I'm still bfing, so I think that my hormones have been all out of wack.  Well, this past week we were in Aruba on vacation and my daughter nursed CONSTANTLY.  She was down to about 2 times a day.  I told my husband that that was likely going to shoot down any chances of my being pregnant this month.  Well... yesterday, on a whim, I decided to test.  It was in the evening and I had peed not long before, so imagine my shock when it was a definite positive!!!!

Last night was a long night, and when I woke up this morning with no blood, it felt wonderful.  Nevertheless, I am terrified.  Every cramp... every time I feel like I'm bleeding... I run to the bathroom constantly.  I have to keep reminding myself that none of that means anything... that it felt the same when I was pregnant with my daughter.  At any rate, the next 9 weeks can't go fast enough.  I PRAY that my hormones stay in check and Baby is healthy.  If I lose it, I don't know what I'll do... :(  GOOD STICKY VIBES all around!!!!

[Rachel88]

Hey everyone. I got my BFP on Monday. We Lost our last baby at 12 weeks on August. We have been trying to get pregnant again ever since and it has been a whole lot of disapointment. I think I am driving myself crazy! It is going to be a long time until I can feel comfortable with this pregnancy but I do already feel very connected to this new LO, I hope he sticks around!

[Juliensiss]

I am here!!!  I had a 3 month miscarriage 17 years ago (back when they used months not weeks).  Then 2 live births these "babies" are 7 and 5.  I had another loss at 8 weeks in Oct of 09'.  I am 5 weeks pregnant again and scared to death!  I am 45 on top of my past history.  Can't wait to meet this peanut on 11/14.

[Rachel88]

I have realized that I am so crabby because I am so worried. I got pretty mad at DH last night and I had a good reason to be upset but I usually do not get so very angry. I think I need to do more yoga  I have to find some way to get through this first trimester without being wound so tight!

[xakana]

7 weeks today! I'm past the worst of the worry, I hope! <3 Still pregnant!

[Rachelette]

I am spotting just a bit - brownish/red but with two teeny clots.  The MD said to just take it easy - no exercise and go in on Monday for another u/s.   I know spotting is pretty normal, but after a loss, its hard not to feel defeated by it. 

Any thoughts?

[apmama07]

Rachelette. Wish there was something to say to reassure you 100%. Just spotting a little with no cramping is a good sign hopefully. I will say that I had more bleeding and cramping in my one term pregnancy than in my early loss - it was a subchorionic hematoma and I bled bright red on and off from about 6 weeks to 13!! They're fairly common and usually resolve themselves with no harm to the fetus. Just to say that there are reasons for bleeding at this point that aren't too worrisome. How many weeks are you? Any other symptoms, good or bad?

[apmama07]

And while I'm here, hi to all the new mamas. And congrats xakana on making it past your milestone!! What a great feeling!

AFM I too am at another milestone, tomorrow will mark the point where the last baby died. So I think I'll breathe another notch easier if we can get into this week and I'm still feeling as blessedly sick as I am. By this point in both losses my symptoms had petered out big time, and so far this time they're increasing instead so yay! I won't truly let out a sigh of relief until the 30th when I have another ultrasound to see if that heartbeat is still there. Keeping my head down and myself very busy until then.

[Rachelette]

Thank you for the hugs and the advice!  I'm not really cramping and it seems to have let up (knock on wood) for now. I've put myself on a bit of bedrest while my DH cleans the house for a potluck we have tomorrow.  He is being very sweet, but I know this is really freaking him out.  

I am at 6 weeks and 3 days and am still completely nauseous, which I'm hoping is a good sign.  I remember with my miscarriage having all the familiar pregnancy symptoms for a while though, even as I was miscarrying.  

So I am hopeful that it stops and that my u/s on Monday puts my mind to rest for a bit.  And that this pregnancy can continue and be a healthy one. 

And hugs back to you - I hope things continue to to go well <3