Where is the simplicity? - Page 2

[Kuba'sMama]

I found personally that the "simplicity" comes from experience. When my ds was born, I was neurotic too, worrying and obsessing over every thing I read. With this third baby, it just "clicked". I don't worry, I don't obsess, I take her as she is. I have no idea where she is on the milestones (behind where her sister was at this age, that's for sure, lol). I don't worry that she's not crawling yet and shows no interest. I know that she is developing just fine, that is obvious. But is she doing all the 9 month old "things"? Probably not. She is a relaxed, mellow baby who just seems so content. She is happy, she is loved. And I don't know where that fits on a baby chart

[MacKinnon]

I'm on my third, and really, I think that simplicity does come with time.That cookie quote is totally right on! My sister-in-law had a baby the day before we had our DD. And she has said to me numerous times in the last six months, "I can't handle the one! How do you do three? When do you sleep? etc." And I keep saying back to her that her job is harder than mine. The learning curve on the first is steep!  That said, I remember my other sister-in-law saying she had to put down the books and walk away from the baby forums because they made her worry.

Have you explored MDC? What else are you interested in? Maybe Diapering or Baby Wearing? I like to read in Digging in the Earth and plan out my garden for the spring. Arts and Crafts? There are a bunch of forums! If reading Life with a Babe makes you worry about things, go read this thread about Top Chef All Stars or maybe this one, about Urban Homesteading.

[Peony]

Some mamas are just more laid back from the beginning then others as well. I've never worried about nap times or babbling at 8 months or growth charts. That was only lessened with each child.  Not to say I haven't run into issues, all 3 of my children have turned out to have some special needs but I've never sweated the small things, just not my thing. They either sleep or they don't, and who cares where they eat the cookie or if they are eating it for breakfast or dinner or heck TWO cookies! 

[sk8boarder15]

Even in time with one baby I've become more laid back! :) 

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by sk8boarder15 

Even in time with one baby I've become more laid back! :) 

I also agree that MDC has helped me be more relaxed knowing others have gone through what I am experiencing and come out alright. I also love the support found here. It's sad that the natural / AP style of parenting is the alternative way, but because of that it can be hard to find likeminded parents out there (at least where I live) and for me at least this place is a lifesaver of support and understanding, not to mention learning. I've gotten so many useful tips and ideas from other mamas here.

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...and as for the OT thing about The Continuum Concept, I totally agree with tzs that it's apples and oranges and not really fair to compare families in modern urban settings to tribes in the jungle. Honestly, I found the book dreadfully boring and dry and kept trying but in the end gave up on page 70 or so. Maybe for someone who really doesn't get babywearing it would be a good, academically-oriented backup explaining why it's good to wear your baby, but otherwise I am not a CC fan.

[hippymama23]

I totally feel the same way.  In fact, I have avoided coming back to the forum because of that very same thing.  What I want is some confort and acknowledgement from other moms how hard it is having a baby and adjusting to this new human.  Thanks for posting this.

[hippymama23]

I hope I get more relaxed and more confident with baby two, but really I want that confidence with baby 1.  He is almost 10 months old and I find myself questioning everything I do if I am doing it right.  I have just done what feel natural and we still have no plan to get him out of our bed (we have been bed sharing).  It seems the plan keeps changing from bring the crib in the bedroom and try the transition to put the mattress on the floor in the baby's room and sleep on that mattress. I feel like I need to call an expert to come coach us. 

I should feel like the expert!  I don't know if it my own insecurity as a person or all new mothers feel insecure and have self-doubt if they are doing it right.   I always fall back on my mom books.  Books about how hard it is to be a mother and society's crazy thoughts on mothers.  The Price of Motherhood; This is Not How I Thought It Would Be and my favorite, Operating Instructions,

[MsFortune]

Originally Posted by mamatoemily 

 I find as I browse the various posts that I am starting to get worried about everything!  

That is when it is time to log off.  Spend some time with your babe.  

[katelove]

Originally Posted by memomuse 

I hope I get more relaxed and more confident with baby two, but really I want that confidence with baby 1.  He is almost 10 months old and I find myself questioning everything I do if I am doing it right.  I have just done what feel natural and we still have no plan to get him out of our bed (we have been bed sharing).  It seems the plan keeps changing from bring the crib in the bedroom and try the transition to put the mattress on the floor in the baby's room and sleep on that mattress. I feel like I need to call an expert to come coach us. 

Do you need a plan? Is what you're doing working for everyone at the moment? Why not just go with it until it stops working, then try something else? 
 

[hippymama23]

@ Katelove

We have put a mattress on the floor in the baby's room.  He is crawling now so that is why we had to do something fast.  He was going to leap off the rasied bed we were all sharing in our bedroom.  We are now in his bedroom and he slept in the crib for two hours last night so we have started the transition.  I am really happy about the progress already.  He sleeps with us in the bed that is on the floor once he wakes up from the crib which we put him down in when we sing him to sleep.  He used to have to be nursed to sleep but now he nurses before and has some energy and then my husband has been having some luck with him by singing him to sleep.

Thanks for your thoughts.