How are your babes with strangers?

[Buzzer Beater]

My in-laws were here for 3 days and could barely get near GG. I felt soooooo bad for them. She spent a total of about ten awful, whiny minutes on Grandma's lap, and five on Grandpa. I know it's not unusual to have stranger anxiety at 9 months, but I really hoped she'd warm up after a long weekend with them. For two days she fussed and whined, and wasn't herself in front of them at all. Today she was a bit better, but no singin' or dancin'. Is that extreme to be so wary after three days? Whenever they left the house she was back to her normal chipper self. 

[Peony]

Normal, especially at that age where stranger anxiety can be settling in. 2 out of the 3 didn't want to go to anyone they didn't know, my last one DS, is abnormal in my opinion because he would go with anyone and never cared. After 3 days, they still may seem like strangers to her. 

[goinggreengirl]

DS was like that at 9 months. Now, at 11 months, he will smile and people but put his head on our chest or get closer to us. He lets some people hold him but they have to be nonchalant about it- If someone gets in his face and talks to him, he'll pull away and cry, but if someone holds him and shows him interesting things (keys, a book, a picture, etc.) he's fine with them for awhile.

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

DD is 5mo and will promptly burst into tears if a stranger tries to talk to her.  It's been going on for 6ish weeks.  When she was 3mo we traveled to visit out of state family.  She was a trooper til the 5th day.  Then was just done with all the strangers! Of course that was the day my dad and stepmom met her.  Oops. 

This all happened right around the time she realized that she and mommy were not the same person and mommy might not always be there.  Sometimes she has to do dishes or cook dinner.  That daddy fellow will have to do. 

[SilverFish]

oof... we are still dealing with this big time and my dd is one. she started to kind of warm up to our families over christmas break, but i was in our hometown for over 2 weeks. a long weekend is way too short a time for her to acclimatize. she would let grandma and grandpa play with her a bit, but no holding and no snuggles when we saw them last weekend. sadly, we just live too far away to see them more than once every other month or so. i don't think she will be really comfortable with them until she's able to grasp the concept of grandparents and remember them when they aren't around.

[kloppenmum]

Yep, I think it's normal too. I believe the peak of clingy-ness is usually around 15 months and then is often gone by 18 months for an adventurous child, but possibly not until 3 or 4 for a sensitive one. Boring Cuddles are great, where you hold your child but don't speak or make any noises. This helps them to deal with any anxiety for themselves but with your support. (idea from: Diane Levy -NZ Family Therapist)

Karyn