Weekly Chat: 2/28-3/5 - Page 4

[~pi]

Great lists. Things I am doing differently this time:

- Really prioritizing being active during pregnancy. Last time I bicycled everywhere, swam a little, etc. but it was kind of erratic. This time I am noticing a very clear causal relationship:

Days when I get out and do something active outside = days when I feel good to awesome

Days when I don't do anything outside = days when I feel moderate to bleh

- Thinking hard about responsibility. Last time it was very important to me that my care providers at least agreed somewhat with my plans (for my high-risk pregnancy.) This time I feel more confident that I don't need everyone's approval, and I am also more aware that we are all coming at this from very different perspectives on risk.

- Finding out the sex.

In terms of stuff, I am the opposite to some, it seems! We had very little for DS, and this time, we do plan to get a crib and a swing. Otherwise, we still have everything we need. Though I might get a new ring sling.

[StephandOwen]

Loving the lists! I'll have to make one later :)

I dropped dh off at the airport this morning He's currently sitting in the detroit airport, waiting for his next flight. He'll be in China and the Philippines this time. He gets back in 16 days. The good news is that my nausea and morning sickness have gone way down this last week, so I'm actually feeling much better than I was. Also, one of the weeks he's gone is my spring break so I will have a lighter load than usual, which will help.

DH dropped ds off at school this morning and that poor boy is going to break my heart. Because of his autism he very rarely expresses his emotions. He told dh this morning "when someone I love, like you, leaves me it makes me sad. Almost like I'm gonna cry". While the business trips are hard on dh and I, they are much harder on ds. He hates any and all change and this routine shift is just so hard for him. I try to make it special "mama and Owen time" while dh is gone, but it's still hard. Thankfully we should be able to "see" dh through the computer sometimes (when he can get a break from working) so that will help ds. DS already told dh that he's going to pick out some books to read to him once dh gets settled in (which will probably be Saturday before we're able to talk to him).

DH also just found out today that when he gets back he'll be here for *maybe* 2 weeks before they send him out again. Grrr. Thankfully the next one is just to Kansas so those trips aren't too bad (usually a week or less).

[mamabutterfly]

Steph, what a bummer to have him gone for over two weeks. I can imagine that's so hard on ds. :( I hope you guys have some fun together and that you are turning a corner and feeling better.

DH went away recently (only 9 days) and my girls took it hard. Skype really helped though!

I've thought a lot about differences in this pregnancy. My mood at the start is so different, for us the other two were unexpected and the first weeks were about shock and getting used to the idea and by then I was sick, lol. This 3rd one we actually 'tried' for and I do find I feel really different, and dh has been slightly better about getting on board with the concept. He's still *reaally* slow to come around to the idea in the first trimester though, probably normal for guys. (Not that he's unhappy, he wanted a baby in theory, he just can't really think of it as real yet.)

But my own excitement has been much easier to come by. Maybe also thinking this is likely my last due to age makes me feel more of that "savor the moment" thing. I never felt that last time around, it was just all, UGH, lol.

[mamabutterfly]

Oh, and ~pi I was going to add I also have noticed I am feeling better when I am more active. I think my first trimesters both other times, being in July & August, were just humid and hot and exhausting. Now after a long snowy winter, March makes me want to get OUT and enjoy the spring - with all this budding life around, who could not be inspired! ;)

[AKislandgirl]

I wish it felt like Spring here.... its beginning to snow this morning. I did notice some crocus leaves poking through at the library the other day. I'm hopeful but we often get a lot of snow in March and April.  I miss living somewhere with true seasons.

I had my U/S the other day with the good machine. God I loved hearing that heartbeat! It is such a beautiful sound. I went ahead and announced our pregnancy on facebook afterwords and have had fun reading all of the well wishes! The gave me a due date of 10/10 just a day off from what I though and many days off from the Dr's wheal! I don't know why they get so fixated on their wheal, especially with someone who is tracking their cycles and know they ovulate late. Oh well, its just a date but I don't like them thinking I'm "late" when in fact I'm not.

Steph, I hope the time with your DH away goes quickly and your DS handles it OK. My DH travels a lot in the summer and it sucks. You'd think after 10 years I'd be used to it. It's harder with kids though. This summer he has 1 one week trip and 2 three week trips planned. Not looking forward to those. Luckily Fall is a much mellower time for him work wise which is when I obviously really need him home!

[Amy May]

I'm inspired by the lists, ladies!  Since this is our first, I'm just trying to figure out for the first time what we should and shouldn't do.

I live in Boston and am absolutely over winter.  That has put a huge damper on my activity level too- I have so little motivation to run after work when it is 10 degrees outside and dark.  I usually run less in the winter than the summer anyway, so that is normal, but now I feel like I don't want to move... I just want to come home, curl up and snuggle with my husband, and go to sleep by 9pm.  Normally, if I go a few days without exercising, I start feeling grumpy and irritable.  I haven't had a good workout since Saturday, which, ironically, probably makes me feel even more tired.  And I have no intention of running outside when it is so cold today. 

And then there is the whole issue of my pants getting tighter.  I know that obviously, I'm pregnant, and this is to be expected, but I guess I wasn't prepared for it to happen already.  And the bloating is just the worse... especially in the evenings, I'll go from normal in the morning to looking like I'm 6 months by 7pm.  I thought I had skipped out on all forms of morning sickness, so I'm dissappointed to feel so yucky, queasy, and worn down.  It is hard not feeling like myself.  I'm sorry to vent, but I had to get that off my chest.

On a few positive notes though, I remember one momma on this board saying something along the lines of "growing a human being is hard work."  My little blueberry just doubled in size from last week (I'm 7w2d now).  No wonder I feel exhausted and moody and crappy!  That's a lot of amazing growing happening!

Also, it has been really cool seeing how DH's feelings about pregnancy have changed.  I still don't think it is really "real" for him yet though.  He's really supportive of meeting with the midwives, and actually having a homebirth, which is awesome.  When we first found out, he was pretty panicked that his life had suddenly already changed completely.  (I was lamenting that even though we now knew we were preggo, nothing really felt different yet).  He initially had all kinds of mixed feelings- fear, anxiety, uncertainty, etc.  He's also graduating in May with his 3rd master's degree- perpetual nerd, so he's stressed about thesis, finding a job, the possibility of moving etc.  At first, he felt really guilty for having mixed feelings, like that made him a bad person to not be as excited as I was.  I assured him that no matter how much we wanted this baby, there will be times when we both will wonder what we've gotten ourselves into...  So, finding out we were pregnant was harder for each of us than we both expected, but now I'm just feeling so amazed to have him as my husband.  Now, I'm feeling so loved and supported by him, and everytime I look at him, I think about what an amazing father he'll be.  *Gush*

[starling&diesel]

I like this list idea ... it might help me be more accountable to my goals.  Here are mine:

Things I'm glad we did the first time and will repeat again this time:

• kept the purchases for the babe to an absolute minimum, including clothes
• didn't find out the sex (might waver on this one!)
• midwife attended natural labour and delivery
• insisted on a natural induction instead of the hospital protocol
• co-slept with babe between us
• swaddled
• breastfed, and used the at-the-breast Lact-Aid system with donor milk for supplementing when my supply was so low and everyone was bullying us to use bottles
• no paci
• cloth dipes
• used the Ergo from day one, and a sling as a back up/around the house
• child-led weaning and skipping purees
• no soaps or shampoos or lotions on the babe
• Attachment Parenting as a way of life

Things we'd do differently this time:

• I'm doing the Brewer diet to help hopefully avoid pre-eclampsia
• not bother with a nursery at all
• avoid Doctor Google at all costs and keep internet research to an absolute minimum
• try not to gain as much weight as last time seeing as I haven't lost much of it
• not video the birth ... loved the stills, for me the video is far too visceral and graphic once removed from the actual moment
• have fewer people in the room when I deliver (I think we had 13!?! because I wanted all my loved ones to have the opportunity to witness birth)
• do some kind of pre-natal exercise like yoga or swimming now that we live where this is possible
• be mentally prepared for a hospital birth ... I was so set on a homebirth that I was thrown for a loop when it went pear-shaped
• not take my midwives word as gospel

That's all I can think of for right now.  I'm enjoying reading everyone else's lists!  Thanks!

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by mamabutterfly 

Steph, what a bummer to have him gone for over two weeks. I can imagine that's so hard on ds. :( I hope you guys have some fun together and that you are turning a corner and feeling better.

DH went away recently (only 9 days) and my girls took it hard. Skype really helped though!

DS was breaking my heart tonight He ended up crying himself to sleep (with me laying next to him, of course) so upset that dh was gone. I hate this part because ds really doesn't seem to understand why dh has to leave. I tried to explain to him that dh has to go these places so that his work pays him. DS, being the little smarty pants that he is, explained that we already have food and clothes in our house so dh can come home now, he doesn't need any more money. So I explained to him that dh goes on these trips to get bonus money, which helps us pay for vacations and extra things. Not missing a beat, ds asked if that means we can go to Disney World this summer. Seeing that little ray of light in your child's eyes after they've been laying there crying, red and puffy face..... I'm thinking he's probably going to disney world now this summer   We made a little paper chain countdown so he'll tear off a chain every day until dh gets back. We're also having a "sleepover" tomorrow. DS's idea He wants to lay in my bed all night and watch the disney channel and tell spooky stories and eat m&m's. LOL! Gotta love it!

[~pi]

Steph. Right now, I am the one who travels in our family (usually just once a month for a week at a time, but I have 3 other trips this month as well) and it's HARD. I love the sleepover idea. My DH and DS have all sorts of rituals they do when I am away, and we Skype nightly, which helps a lot.

I hope the paper chain destruction flies by and next thing your DS knows, you are all together again.

[AKChix0r]

Steph, is it terrible that I want to come to your sleepover? That sounds like an awesome Friday night. I'm kind if mad that I won tickets to go see some band I don't even know/like - I want to stay in bed and eat M&Ms, dammit!

[MOMYS]

Don't know if anyone would be interested, or if I'm even allowed to post this here :)  But for those of you who are thinking of getting newborn photos done once your baby is born, I'm featuring a different photographer every week for the next 10 - 15 weeks on my blog.  These photographers are mainly in the States, but there are some in Australia and some in Canada (and even one in Finland  :) ) 

http://anellerichardsonphotography.com/blog

(Look for the SPOTLIGHT ON..... THURSDAY posts)

This is not an advertisement for me, as I'm obviously not going to be doing any photoshoots anytime around my baby's due date or even for a few months after  :)

[lifeguard]

Oh my - what beautiful photos.

[lifeguard]

And I just noticed you live close to me! I'm in Arnprior, soon to be outside of Renfrew.

[sunanthem]

I am sorry that mamas and papas have to travel, but you work hard for the money, So hard for it honey!!

anyway, good morning!

Momys, I will check it out, do you need any recommendations for Asheville? I know 2 amazing local photographers.

I love reading all the lists.

so many feelings and thoughts on pregnancy now, I don't even know how to put it all into words.

Hope all of you have a peaceful day.

[livacreature]

I love Asheville!  I lived there for several years and miss it so much!

[AKislandgirl]

I'm adding on to my list....

in the early stages of labor wash and braid my hair so that 40 hours later it is not a crazy mess that annoys me (then and in the pictures)

[tank]

Originally Posted by sunanthem 

I am sorry that mamas and papas have to travel, but you work hard for the money, So hard for it honey!!

anyway, good morning!

Momys, I will check it out, do you need any recommendations for Asheville? I know 2 amazing local photographers.

I love reading all the lists.

so many feelings and thoughts on pregnancy now, I don't even know how to put it all into words.

Hope all of you have a peaceful day.

I live in asheville too!
 

[StephandOwen]

Quick update on ds.... he's doing much better today! YAY! We had a "sleepover" last night and are having another one today. He seems to be starting to adjust to dh being gone. We did get to talk to dh on the phone today and ds was THRILLED. He was reading dh some of the books he got from our trip to the library today.

And on a funny note.... ds totally cracks me up. We're laying in bed and he suddenly says "you know what I love about girls?" "What's that buddy?" "They can have babies. Even though your belly is getting big, I still love you". Good to know, dear. I told him it'll get a lot bigger and his eyes got really wide. LOL!

[nicolian]

lol Steph!! ((hugs)) for the hard times. I'm sure that would be rough. You're a good mama.

[AKislandgirl]

As I was lying on my back to fall asleep last night I was wondering at what point are we supposed to lie on our side and avoid lying on our back for long periods of time. I know its not for a while but I can't remember when?

Also, when did you guys start feeling your babies move with your past pregnancies?