Some of the current behaviors:
- hitting me or the baby when he's mad
- Pulling things blindly off the counter...or out of the drawers
- Throwing things...constantly
- Climbing on me when I'm nursing DS2 (like, he'll climb behind me. It's a HUGE pet peeve of mine to be stepped on)
- Tearing up anything that he can
- General not listening (especially if it's a dangerous behavior like playing with the plug outlets. They're internally protected but I don't want it to become a habit)
Those are the big ones that I can think of right now. There is no pattern except mid-afternoon when he gets tired and starts fighting a nap. (He still fights it for hours on end before flat passing out)
Part of my mental block is that DS2 doesn't get enough sleep as it is because when I CAN put him down 90% of the time DS1 goes and messes with him or does something loud and wakes him up. So, if I were to add constant screaming to the mix the poor baby would never sleep. Not to mention I can't always jump up and grab DS1 immediately (and he knows it) because if I put DS2 down every time DS1 misbehaved he'd never get to eat.
We've tried outside time to help with his need to release energy. However, the last several times he was eating handfuls of dirt and not listening when I told him to stop. Normally dirt doesn't bother me but there's evidence that animals have been in our yard (holes dug under the fence) and I don't want him eating dirt that's probably been peed on. I've tried leaving the door open and letting him run in and out...but then he just stands and opens and slams the door. Add in that the dog next door is NOT friendly (it charges the fence and barks angrily) so he's not totally okay to be outside alone. AND he's bored with the backyard now.
He needs someone to play with him most of the time and I can't do it. The state of my housework is evidence of that. I give him the time that I have free, but it's not enough.
I'm starting to feel like an awful parent. We go to playgroups and my son is the one not listening and repeating the same mis-behavior over and over again. Like, last night he was the one running to open the door repeatedly even though we told him to stop, even though there were toys, and even when DH got down and gave him direct attention.
Time outs don't work because, again, I can't have the screaming mad for 2 mins while the baby is trying to sleep. We've tried spanking (no flames please I'm asking for help) and it has zero results. He's not verbal so I don't know how much he understands when I'm telling him not to do things. I speak in clipped sentences "No hit" or "Stop" to keep it simple. A friend does time ins with her son...but he's much more verbal so I don't know if that would work with mine.
As a result, the three of us never get out of the house unless DH is home because I just CAN'T handle DS1. I can barely manage at home and I'm sure as hell not going to try at the grocery store or something.