Do I have to stop BF to get pregnant? my son is almost 12mo, i BF and have no menstruation.

[lotta_earth]

I would like to give some background: My son BF on average every 2 hrs day and night and has always been this way. We cosleep but at 9 mo started him sleeping in his own bed and room since he was literally crawling away after nursing. It was really stressful to have to worry about him crawling out of the bed and falling or ending up anywhere in the bed-turned around and down by our legs. I was worried we'd cover him in the blankets etc.... now he really cries when he wakes and I of course have to get out of bed and go to his room and feed him in the rocking chair. So night feeding is harder on both of us now. Though I have tried to bring him back in our bed a couple times and he doesn't seem to want to nurse lying down anymore. Some nights he sleeps longer but other nights he is up more often.....aghhh. 

Now we would like to get pregnant again but I have no period and just saw my gyn. she said I will have to stop BF or at least stop all but maybe morning and evening feedings to try and get the menstruation to start. Any advice????

I would love to continue to BF though wouldn't mind doing it less often, especially in the night. 

He eats some other foods but not with any regularity.But he won't drink much of anything. he has never taken the bottle or pacifier.

He has never eaten very much quantity of solid foods. He seem more interested in eating food from our plates than pureed foods. He has been sick the last 2 weeks and not sure if this is why but now interested in the pureed food more. We will see if he really starts eating more consistently.....It would make me feel better about trying to night wean. 

Which brings another huge question-night weaning???? We have practiced attachment parenting and do not want to stop and let him cry. But he cries like crazy when he wants to nurse. 

Any info on these topics. 

Carlotta

[PatioGardener]

I know several mamas who have fallen pregnant while breastfeeding, so you definitely do not have to stop! Usually cycles come back around 14 months I think. Remember that Mamas often lose their milk when pregnant, so some Mamas like to wait until their baby #1 is 2 years old before getting pregnant.

For night weaning, many mothers like this link: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

you may like to read this as well. Kellymom is a great resource. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

And to MDC!

[KristyDi]

I believe the average on return of cycle for full time bfing is sometime around 15 months.  If you do a search on the boards there have been several threads asking mamas here when their cycles came back.  Mine came back around that time and I didn't make any changes to DD's nursing habits.  DD did happen to get a lot more interested in solids around that time.  We skipped purees and fed her off our plates if that matters.

If I were you, unless there is an urgent reason to TTC NOW, I'd give give your body a few more months, especially since your DS doesn't seem ready to wean.  It is possible to get pregnant while bfing.

[fruitfulmomma]

I've conceived 5 children while breastfeeding. After my last birth I had 15 months with no cycles and then one period and got pregnant (loss @ 8 weeks) right away. Other children I've gotten cycles back between 8 months and a year and then had several cycles before conceiving. We don't use any birth control/family planning methods. I would not wean just to get my cycles back, especially @ only a year. Give it a few more months and I think you will see your fertility returning anyway.

ETA: I was tandem nursing 2 kiddos when I got pregnant two of those times.

[Marissamom]

I think that if you wait a couple months your son will probably start eating more solid foods and nursing less, and your cycle should return on its own. there are some women who don't get their cycle back until their baby is only nursing a couple times a day, but most don't need to go down to just 2 times a day (I got mine back when DD was 3.5 months, so still nursing a ton). 

[ariatrance]

I'm just going to lay out my story because it sounds like you are on my path!

My daughter nursed every 2 hours around the clock for her first 12 months. About a week after her birthday, she started nursing about every 3 hours. She started solids around eight months but didn't really start eating with gusto (3 meals a day plus 1 or 2 snacks) until 19 months. I got pregnant when she was 18 months old without menstruation (though I lost that one).

Basically, your body is more likely to ovulate before that first postpartum period the longer you go without menstruation. Since you've been this long without, you can certainly keep having unprotected sex often and likely you will 'catch' that first egg.

At some point, your son will start eating more solids - when he wants to/is ready to. He doesn't need purees unless he is younger than eight months. At eight months and above, he can eat soft foods off your plate or his own plate, however you fly! The best advice I ever read was to give tiny portions and as many 'seconds' as the kid wants. Lot less food wasted that way and the kid can follow his hunger signals.

Nightweaning - well we aren't there fully yet. I have only started to limit her night nursing - no nursing between midnight and 5 a.m. - in the last month (she turned 2 yesterday). Every few nights is better, so I think we are headed in the right direction, I think she is capable and ready of nightweaning. If she was resisting and it was nothing but tears and frustration for us, I would not try to limit at this time. Your son will eventually nightwean. However, after a while, it does become about mutual benefits, especially quality sleep. You will need to decide your own comfort level with night nursing and go from there. There are many ways to night wean without tears.

Good luck and don't wean unless you absolutely want to.

[Chloe'sMama]

My DD nursed a ton like that through about 18 months. I got my first cycle back at 14ish months, but didn't ovulate until 16 months and we caught the 2nd egg.  I continued to nurse through pregnancy (although, my milk dried up immediately) and am still nursing both DDs.  

Be ready for your milk supply to tank, it doesn't always happen, but it did to me.  

I never night weaned but DD did herself when I got pregnant and the milk was gone, so no advice there.  

Good luck.

[lotta_earth]

Thanks to everyone for the replies. It is good to know that my cycle WILL come back without stopping BFing. Of course there is no exact date for this but I will wait and see. I had no idea this was a "normal" thing and now wondering why this Gynecologist didn't know this.....

We are only in a hurry to get pregnant because of our ages and not knowing how long it will take but I would like to let my body set it's own clock if possible. 

I will look more into this and love that you are all here to share your stories and info-it is such a wonderful thing!

Thanks

Carlotta

[carriede]

My DS is 20 mo, and I just recently got pregnant again. We also just nightweaned him at 19 mo. Coincidence? I think not. ;) We nightweaned him because, like you, I had to get up to nurse him at night and I was NOT getting enough sleep. In order to do that, my DH had to step in and take over the night wakings for a while. The times when I got up to comfort DS, I was able to tell him that the "boobies are sleeping, it's nite-nite time." But he's obviously a little older than yours. He stopped nursing at night almost immediately, though he still wakes up once or twice a night.

The cool thing about getting pregnant right after nightweaning is that my period didn't have a chance to come back. mwahahahaha! But if you don't get you cycles back when the other posters said, you may indeed need to nightwean to get pregnant again. Or perhaps just cut back if possible. Few women need to do this, but I knew it was likely to happen for me because my mom was the same way. ::shruggs::

[Ella Enchanted]

I've got two momma-friends who had their babies same month I did, December 2009, who both breastfed and ended up pregnant within just 2 months.  Made me so jealous since I'm infertile and have to use in vitro.  I've also got some momma-friends who didn't breastfeed at all and took several months for their period to even come back.

You can quit nursing and still wait several months, or you can keep at it, and end up pregnant in a month.  It's really a guess, and it's wrong of our GYN to insist that THE way to get pregnant is to stop nursing.  Among moms who continually breastfeed, the average length of time for fertility to return is about 14-16 months.