EXTREMELY emotional 5 1/2 year old

[ErinsJuneBug]

 She has always been quite anxious and emotional but it has only worsened as she gets older, and I really think its affecting her life. Looking for advice, resources and some thoughts from others who has dealt/is dealing with with a child with similar temperament.

She FREAKS out if things don’t go as planned, especially if she was somehow involved. I'm not even talking big things; I'm talking really small minor things. For example we were in a boat over the summer and as we were heading back in to dock she realized that the bumper was not out. So she flipped the bumper over the side....but it wasn’t tied to the boat so it floated away. She was jumping up and down screaming and hysterically crying "Nooooo." I am seriously the calmest person you will ever meet, things like this are NEVER a big deal to me and we always deal with it by saying "woops, no biggie, lets turn the boat around and get it."  I spent the next 10 minutes holding her talking about how things happen and it’s OK to make a mistake.

She NEVER wants to disappoint us or make "waves" so to speak. She wont even ask her teacher for a drink of water or do anything out of routine. She is very friendly and sweet and VERY happy most of the time. She’ll come bounding out of her room in the morning to jump on our bed and say good morning, and she is very talkative and inquisitive but this emotional side is really making me concerned.

This weekend we moved to a new house and I took the kids over to shovel the driveway because it had snowed the day before, while DH was packing a truck. I forgot her snow pants at daycare but bundled her all up and gave her the choice to stay outside with me, sit in the car or go into the house and sit by the window so I could see her. She said she didn’t want to be in the house by herself and would stay out with me. When we got there she started crying because she didn’t have snow pants and wanted to play in the snow. I told her she could and that we would dry her pants when we got inside.....she REFUSED and started crying harder and was going on and on about how she didn’t want her pants wet. I gave her a hug and brought her to the car to sit down, gave her a book and told her to try and calm herself down but that I needed to shovel and she could come back out when she calmed down.

She came out a few minutes later still kinda doing that crying/breathing,  but I ignored it and said "Glad you came back out!" I tried to distract her with conversation and said "oooh why don’t you see if you can see the snowman we made yesterday, what is he doing over there?!" (It was around the driveway bend, we couldnt quite see it yet). Well, that was a huge mistake because at the mention of the snowman she started hysterically crying again, screaming "ohhhh NOOOO it snowed on the snow man...NO NOOOO he is going to be ruined. NOOOO.”

Guys, she is exhausting! My 18 month old is no where near as mentally demanding. He happily played by my feet the entire time while his sister had mental breakdowns. It seems like I am always trying to distract her or talk her down.

[YasaiMuraLife]

I know your child - I have one too!  I'm reading "Living with the Active Alert Child" by Linda Budd right now to figure out how to deal with this child.  Get that book and do a search here on MDC for "active alert" and you'll pull up all sorts of info on parenting this type of child.

Good luck!

[midnightwriter]

Oh, I can relate! My 8 yo is very much like this, and I can tell you she's gotten much much better at controlling how she expresses her emotions. She is still very emotional, and would have reacted the same as your DD when she was 5 and 6...maybe even at 6.5 / 7. But it has been gradually improving, and now it is much easier for both of us.

She is also extremely compassionate and is a great mediator. She's very aware of her own emotions. Now she says that horse riding and gymnastics seem to help. I did notice an improvement when she started horse riding lessons last summer. But she also turned 8 then, so it could be her age too.

I've never heard of that book, never even seen it mentioned here! I will look it up. Not a single book I read "worked" for me. I just do my best to validate, empathise, and then distract, because often validation leads to more intense emotions.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug 

She came out a few minutes later still kinda doing that crying/breathing,  but I ignored it and said "Glad you came back out!" I tried to distract her with conversation and said "oooh why don’t you see if you can see the snowman we made yesterday, what is he doing over there?!" (It was around the driveway bend, we couldnt quite see it yet). Well, that was a huge mistake because at the mention of the snowman she started hysterically crying again, screaming "ohhhh NOOOO it snowed on the snow man...NO NOOOO he is going to be ruined. NOOOO.”

Ahahaha. This sounds exactly like my DD. She's 5.5 too. I just keep telling myself that she'll likely mature as she, well, matures...

[meemee]

hormones mama. hormones. prepuberty stuff. 

prepubety does not mean boobs or menarche. it means hormonal changes so mood swings, sleep issues and eventually body odor. 

just bear thru this. she truly is having a hard time. its the first stage of teenage times. like your child is like a teenager but 5. 

just hang there and it will get better.

she will suddenly blossom and mature overnight in a subtle manner you will notice but struggle to describe how

. 

Edited by meemee - 3/2/11 at 11:03am