How did you decide where to send your child to school?

[kidsandmama]

Hello Everyone!

My first born is starting Kindergarten next year and even though I've been agonizing for a year as to where he should go, I'm not any closer to making a decision.

So I am writing here so I can get the benefit of everyone's experience!

We live in a semi rural area and there is only one elementary school nearby. It is rated very high academically (it is a "school of excellence"), and the principal was voted "Principal of the Year". Everyone seems very happy with it, but I think they look at different things than I do. I visited the school but not during the school day . The principal would not let me go during the school day, and in fact she was not very friendly towards me. I met 2 of the teachers who seemed very nice, but the curriculum seemed to push academics. The kids spend an hour using the Open Court system to learn reading. I understand that this is the trend now a days to have kindergarten be more academic, but I don't like it. The teachers also didn't seem very creative in regards to discipline. The solutions to bad behavior, were to have a time out in the room, then a time out outside the room and then the child was sent to the office. There was no mention of positive discipline.

My son is very active and I have a hard time imagining him sitting still for such long periods of time. He is also a "spirited child" and I use many techniques from the book _Raising a Spirited Child_.

There are several schools 30 minutes away that I like. One of them is a charter school of the arts. It is much more hands on and the kids are allowed to be more active. The school still does well on the standardized tests, but I think they get the same results by going about it in a different, more pleasant way.

If we are able to attend the School of the Arts (they have a lottery to get in), my husband might be able to drive him 2-3 days a week (we don't know for sure yet). I'm worried about all that driving. I have a daughter who is almost 2 years old and I don't want her to be in a car 2 hours a day several times per week. Has anyone else dealt with this? Also, how would we meet any local kids? Would that matter?

We have thought about moving closer to the school, but we are worried about the cost. Housing prices have gone up so much. Between the increased cost of houses and the increase in property taxes our monthly outlay would rise about $500.00 per month. That's a lot!

I'd appreciate any help from everyone. I am agonizing over this decision.

By the way I live between Auburn and Grass Valley in California, in case anyone has any experience with these schools!

Collette

[sarasprings]

Our son, too, is "spirited". For that reason, we have started looking into our local Waldorf school, thinking he may do better staying with one teacher for a while. Also, we are under the impression that they have more playtime, which would benefit would help with his movement issues. The more I learn about Waldorf, while it is no means perfect, I think that it may be better for him. Although, I haven't done much yet to learn about the public school here (DS is only 23 months).

As we've talked about this, we have a lot of concerns about schools in general. We are both teachers and have seen amazing teachers and bottom of the barrel ones. They are in all school districts! We are so worried that not only with DS have "behavior" problems that are just developmentally appropriate ways of being, but that he'll have a teacher one year that just ruins learning for him.

I don't know. Honestly, your description of the public school doesn't sound appealing at all. Is your daughter being in the car your biggest issue? If so, I'm wondering if there is a way for her to be cared for while you are driving.

[mpeel]

My girls are spirited. So, originally I was homeschooling. We loved it. Then, financially, we could not handle just one income. I had to return to work. My favorite option for a school - Waldorf - is not available here. So, I chose a school I knew a lot about with small classes. I miss homeschooling so much. Beth does fine socially and academically. But, she hates it. Too much sitting still, despite center time, etc. I keep getting notes home about wiggling. She is not bothering her classmates, only her teacher. I am really trying to figure out how to get back to homeschooling.

I would be concerned abou the school near you that will not allow you to visit. That is a troublesome sign that they may be uncooperative later on or are hiding something. I am with you. I am not big into early academics. The later the better, to me.

I would not judge the school based on standardized testing. They miss so much. I will not allow my children to take them at all. Research them. I would talk with the parents, etc. See who is happy, what they were/are looking for, etc.

I would also consider homeschooling. I would be doing it in a heartbeat. I think it is better for any child. But, especially a child that is going to be labeled. A spirited child is going to be. They do not fit the mold schools are created on. They never will. Schools have to change.

[Rhonwyn]

It started with preschool.

We went looking for a preschool. We looked at 2 Montessori and 2 Waldorf schools. We liked both of the Waldorf schools but neither of the Montessori suited us. One was too cold and the children were nasty to each other. The other was warm and loving but entirely too chaotic with people coming and going and telephones ringing. We chose the Waldorf school that was more established because we were unsure at that time whether we would continue into grade school and we didn't have the energy or drive for the newer school.

When it came time for 1st grade, I talked with lots of public school parents and looked at several schools. It took at lot of work to get your kid into the school you wanted and even then there were no sure things. The schools were loud, chaotic and cluttered. I watched several friends almost have ulcers because their children didn't get into the schools they wanted. Their kids were placed on miles long wait lists. (If a school has a huge wait list year after year, why don't public schools set up another school with the same type of program?) I had also been reading about the standardized tests.

Meanwhile, my child was in Waldorf preschool-Kindergarten and loving it. We loved it. We loved the community and we loved the curriculum. So we bit the bullet, and decided to go with private Waldorf. The cost is a challenge but I see how wonderful the school is and how my children are responding and I believe it is worth every penny. I also have met so many wonderful alumni from the school and from other Waldorf schools. I have yet to meet one that wasn't a polite, helpful and caring individual.

[anotherKatrina]

I think you're already going about it the right way...looking into your available options and taking into account your child's temperament.

I just wanted to comment on the possibility of a 30-minute drive...don't let that deter you if you feel it's the right school. I did a similar drive for4 years before moving into the same neighborhood as my son's school. It can be a drag, but really, it just happens and becomes part of your everyday routine. Bring along books on tape to pass the time.

Meeting local kids...yes that actually is a big deal. I felt bad about keeping my son so distant from our neighborhood. But that can be worked out, too. Like we got our son involved in sports close to home and he made friends on our block.

Ultimately, make the choice that you feel most peaceful about. One will jump out and you'll notice it.

Peace,
Katrina

[kidsandmama]

Thanks Katrina-more questions

Katrina,

I've been meaning to write you for a while. Thanks for your helpful information and thoughts. Can I ask you a few questions?

You mentioned that you drove your son for 4 years to a school. What did you do while he was at school? Did you usually drive home? Do errands? Do you have a younger child? If so, how did she/he handle this?

Did your son have play dates during the week?

I feel most peaceful about going to the School of the Arts (the school further away). It turns out that there will not be many openings this year. There are many siblings (of current students) who have first priority. So, most likely he will not get in anyway, but we never know. We'll see.

We've been using some books on tape for drives right now- that's a great idea.

Everything will work out eventually! Thanks for all your help.

Collette

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Is the K that is further away a full day or half day program? If half day, could you drive to school then find somewhere to spend the morning before picking up child and going home? That way you could cut driving in half. Seems like maybe you could do park, library, shopping (with coolers), all of that during that time.

I too would vote for the right school if possible, even if it meant driving. I think finding the right school for a chid's temperament and interests is really important, as well as matching your families values.

[phathui5]

Having gone to several public schools where it wasn't a good fit, I'd vote for going to the school that best fits your child, even if its farther away. I was "spirited" and academically gifted, which at the schools I went to was a bad combination. I got in trouble constantly and ended up dropping out (with much relief) in 10th grade.