seraf- congrats!!!!!
How do you all STAND this tww?? We're halfway through waiting from our first iui. partner had labs for progesterone Sunday, but we haven't seen the results.
I even had my 40th birthday to distract me, but now I;m right back to thinking thinking. And we're always relating EVERYthing to pregnancy. Peeing a lot? Pregnant. Dizzy? Pregnant. Nauseous? Preggers. Farted? Preg.
I mean in a joking way, but still.
Maybe-- I've been through two 2wws before this one. Each were filled with excitement and angst and were horrible to tolerate. I feel much more mellow this time. Not sure why. But I also know that the closer to the end of the 2ww, the more amped up I am likely to get. Especially if I have symptoms that clearly feel different than PMS.
My partner and I agreed to wait for testing until after her finals are over--at 13po. I think it will help to have a firm date. Unless I try to rationalize and argue for a earlier date...
Maybe~ It can be agony. I swear, on my first one I'd never noticed how early my pms symptoms started. Every pimple, every burp you immediately google to see if anyone else had this shortly before they became pregnant. It's quite a ride! I hope it's not TOO awful for you xoxo
HappyCalm~ I look forward to your test. Hope you can wait!!!
happy good luck !!!!
Isa: Yay for a lovely vacation and a promising RE appt. I'm amazed that you're not going nuts with a 19mm follie--that's when I would start noticing men on the street and wondering....
Some close friends of mine live in the Mission a few blocks from Bi Rite. I can't imagine! They have the most amazing prepared food, too--my friends go there, get food, and take it to Mission Delores park for picnics with all their hipster Mission friends. I'd be terribly jealous of them (and often are), but I feel awful that they are probably near the unsuccessful end of their own ttc journey (nothing to get discouraged about for you all--she has long-standing, very severe fertility problems that are connected to DES in the family, cervical cancer, and much more). Sigh. Anyway, I'm going out there for a work talk and to visit them in the first week of April; I can't wait! Good luck to you with the RE--I found that stage to be really encouraging and got pregnant on the last of my planned four clomid cycles. Here's hoping you only need one!
EZ: With four mature follies, you have such a great chance! Fingers crossed that you are coming up to your very last tww, and good luck!
Seraf- 
I knew it! Congrats! Here's to a H&H 9 months!
Vegan- Singing my "Just Keep Swimming" song for your Swimmers! Here's hoping your TWW is a short one with a BFP at the end of it! SN: I am going to look into the donors at California Cryo. 10 is not a whole lot, but it's more than we are working with now which is 0 so I'll take it. YAY for insurance paying for what we need them to pay for!
Graceie- Sorry about the BFN
Krista- I know the pain you are experiencing all too well, and I am also fully aware that not a whole lot I say will help you during this time, I just want you to know that I am sending you Love and Light for the pain that your heart is feeling right now.
Library- In less than a week your official countdown to 40 weeks/Baby's Done Cooking/Labor will begin and I am SO excited to meet little Aspidistra!!!! 
BOO to the Mean Girls!
Indigo- YAY for Civil Parntership! 
Mami- Our AFs must have attended the same pissed off/angry/I'll show you conference because mine was the same way this month! GL on your insems!
2ez- Sucks that DS didn't do well, but the great this is that he even got out there and tried and it was the State Regionals at that so BRAVO to him! Singing "Just Keep Swimming" for your swimmers as well keeping my Fx for your BFP!
Gelly- Singing "Just Keep Swimming" for your swimmers! Here's to a short 2WW with a GREAT BIG POSITIVE at the end!
Nos- 
You have joined a group of amazing women who will support you through all the ups and downs you may go through! Thank you so much for your kind words! I wish we did I have a teleporter to send some of the African-French donors you speak of to the states. Yeah we are def not leaning towards the KD thing there is a website that has free donors but I have just run into a lot of creepsters thus far! Keeping my fingers crossed that all of your symptoms are pregnancy symptoms!
Kelly- Isn't Body Obsession FUN *insert sarcasm* Here's to obsession that leads to a BFP :-)
Crystal- I hope that your insem went great and that you have a wonderful 2ww that speeds by and results in a BFP!
Irish- I am sorry that your injections are awful 
hopefully you won't have to do them again because you'll be pregnant! TTC can be a difficult process but with the support of your partner and us here I hope you find a support network you can rely on!
Isa- Welcome back! I am so happy that you were able to INDULGE on wonderful things that you usually can't eat! LOL at the Dildo Cam! Happy to hear everything is sounding good!
Maybe- The 2ww can be agonizing personally I just try to keep myself very busy!
Max- Thank you for the California Cryobank rec! We are going to take a look at the 10 that are there and hopefully find 1! Sending you positive healing vibes for your polyp removal
Graceie- At this point I would take a poop covered back from a baby then to be sitting here in silence listening to the rain anyday
BABY DUST 
to all that need it! And if I missed anyone charge it to my head, not my heart....
-----WHEW!------- That was a lot of personals!!
AFM- First of all I want to say thank you all so much for your loving and kind words about our KD situation. I am starting to see through the pain that this may be the Universe telling me that he does not deserve the honor of being our donor. I O'd yesterday and it felt like a piece of me died, but today I am feeling better and trying to look on the bright side. Even though DP and I are not religious people I am very spiritual and we both were raised in strict religious families so we have decided to take part in Lent in hopes that it helps in our TTC efforts.
VENT: So today while DP was at work she sent me a text saying "Can I ask you a Question?" I knew it couldn't be good from the start since she had to ask me before asking. I responded yes and she proceeds to tell me that since we met with the Midwife she has been doing a lot of thinking, and she wanted to ask but wasn't sure how to ask: What if she didn't want me to try anymore and that she should take it from here? Meaning she carry the baby since it's not working with me. I know she means well, I know deep down she is only trying to avoid the pain I feel every month but I feel like she slapped me in the face and punched me in the gut all at the same time. I already feel so defected, so broken. I know it's irrational but women are made to make babies and I can't seem to make or keep one and it's so discouraging. Her question makes me feel like those feelings I hold deep inside are true. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say to her? she doesn't do well with these kinds of things so no one jump on her case about texting I'm not upset about that. Advice? Suggestions? Kind words? Anything?
Oh Rainbow Brite~ Big hugs! That must be a tough thing to hear from your partner, though hopeful too in a way. I mean, it's good that she's committed to having a family with you and wonderful that she's willing to take these steps, but that must be disheartening. I can't help but think, though, that it's a bit early on her part and on yours to think that this 'isn't working'. I know you had a horrible loss and then a disappointing cycle, and we ALL feel like this isn't going to work at some point, but I think (and this is just MY thought!) that it wouldn't be out of line to say to your DP how awesome it is that she's so devoted, but that you'd like to try a bit more before moving on to that plan. That's my two cents, I hope it helps! And thanks for the encouragement about the mean girls. I can't wait for Spring Break!!!
Sw yes even Worth the poop so worth it and man the rain today seems extra depressing , OMO I feel very weird chiming in on a stranger fertility choices but I'm going to a Little anyways women are made to have babies and VBACS are great and common and often/usually successful so if its something you really want or need you should let your partner know that . have you seen a doc and made sure there not something physically off ( not wrong your body is not wrong ) but if its a issue of stress or your DP wanting to carry then maybe its time to sit down and have a very deep conversation I hope you figure out whats best for you ok off my soap box now
Hi guys: Just popping in to keep up and try to feel connected so I don't drown in my own despair. My brain is still a foggy mess but my body is finally starting to ease a little out of the miscarriage. I'm trying to hold on to the hope that many women get pregnant soon after the miscarriage because their body is in some state that makes it so. And praying I'm not on the bad side of a statistic again and I'm not one of those people it doesn't happen for...
Thanks to all who have sent love and light. It's very helpful in these rough times.
Rainbow: just have to throw my 2 cents and hugs in. First off, text is a horrible way to have any deep conversation. I know she was probably "testing the waters" by asking you in that manner but it leaves a lot of unanswered questions -- the biggest one being, "WTF are you talking about, Willis?" I really think you need to sit down and hear why she is asking that question. What's the subtext? And then let her know how it makes you feel. It's a double edged sword. My DP keeps telling me should do anything in the world (and I mean ANYTHING) if she could take the pain away from me right now. Is that primarily what your DP is thinking or is she thinking something else? I think it's easy to fall into, "I can't produce. My body is no good. My DP thinks that too." when it very well not be that at all (from her perspective) and the only way you'll know is if you ask. So have the conversation and report back if you're comfortable with it. It's tough conversations but they have to be had, ya know? Sending lots of positive and strengthening vibes your way.
Krista
Brite--Krista's advice is spot on. Your DP may not know how to be helpful. And each of us has different levels of comfort with ambiguity/waiting. TTC can be really hard on a relationship. I hope you are both able to be gentle with yourselves and each other during this time.
Krista--I'm glad you're checking in. When my TTC#2 ended as a chemical pregnancy, one of my older women friends said that sometimes the body needs practice being pregnant before it can make a successful go at it. It kind of felt like it to me. Like a miscarriage can be a trial run of sorts while the body lays the groundwork for a future pregnancy. Somehow that made sense to me.
AFM--still just doing life, waiting. I think Friday/Saturday is going to be a little challenging because I felt implantation pains with both of my previous attempts and I know I'll be on the lookout for those this weekend. But some women never feel them, right? Note to self: no crazy-making...no crazy-making...
Just sent my paper work into the bank! That was the best thing to drop into the mail, ever! I'm impatiently waiting for AF to come (I've never wanted her more) and hoping that everyone is having lots of baby making magic in their lives! I promise to post more once I have something interesting to say.
Hi all--Just dropping into say hello. I have been laying low for the past week and wanted to let you know that I am continuing to send babydust to everyone in the tww, light to those who are struggling, patience to those waiting and general good vibes out to this community.
As for me, I'm gonna start OPK's tomorrow and will likely do an insemination on Sunday. cautious optimism...
Brite--Please talk to your partner. Krista was spot on with you both really listening to one another. The only way you will make it through this difficult time is with complete honesty. TTC can put a tremendous amount of stress on any relationship, so be patient with yourselves. Sending you support!
Brite - I can only echo what's already been said. Krista has 'hit the nail on the head' in my opinion. Together, you'll get over this bump in the road!
Smiling - 
Woohoo!!!
Happy - Hang in there. It's almost time!
AFM - It's shoot up time - I am off to have a date with Ms. Ovidrel!
Nighty night all.
Isa~ Big hugs xoxo I know the horrible feeling. It seemed like every time I got a bfn, every pregnant woman in the state would go to the grocery store just to taunt me with their bump. It must be even harder to be surrounded by friends and co-workers. Pity party for as long as you need, but don't give up!!!!
Krista~ Hugs to you too. I know you're doing a good job recovering, so just keep it up. Be kind to yourself and keep thinking the positive thoughts. Great advice to RainbowBrite, too. But then you are our Lesbodoula!!! I'm glad you're planning another try so soon xo
HappyCalm~ Be happy and calm!! And don't freak yourself out. No implantation pains doesn't necessarily mean no baby~ just keep your eyes on the prize!
Qmama~ I'll have uncautious and hyperexcited optimism for your insem!! Woohoo!! Good luck with the opks~ I always found catching the egg to be the most stressful part.
Sara~ Yay for paperwork!! You'll be on your way soon. How's Seraf? Are you being a good preggo partner? Holding the barf bowl, etc?
2ez~ How'd your ovidrel date go? When are you insemming?
QOTD-- Thinking about all our ladies in the wait, which I know always made me have crazy pregnancy dreams, so for our question, what's the best/most positive/funniest baby or pregnancy dream you've had? I had one where I was in a public toilet stall and was going to do my opk. To do it, I would pee in a cup and put the stick in it, but I couldn't stop peeing and just filled up cup after cup and had to stack them in pyramids that filled up the stall. Weird and kinda gross, but certainly par for the course. What's anyone else had?
Good morning girls, sorry about going MIA. I have been working, but now my week is done.
Brite, one try does not make "This isn't working." Chances are not in our favor, but most of us do get pregnant.
Max, Yay for getting this show back on the road! Good luck with the polyp removal.
2ez, yay for shooting up! Err, I mean, Yay for great follies!
Krista, You give great advice. How are you holding up?
Happycalm, I think every pregnancy is different, not feeling implantation is no big deal (shoot, what if it happens while you're sleeping?)
Maybe, We become mentally unstable during the TWW, silly! Kidding, mostly.
Library, she is being a good pregnant partner. I'm not really symptomatic yet, just with the boobs hurting and feeling really sleepy. So when I roll in at 11 at night, she makes room on the bed. So sweet!
Nothing really to report over here. Thought I'd mention a few of the early pregnancy symptoms I didn't mention. I normally break out a little a week before AF. Not a single pimple this time, I just didn't notice until the BFP. There were the boobs, giant (I started leaking at 8 weeks with Osh, and, well, I was still nursing him when I got preggers with Ari), the moodiness, the smell aversion. I guess the only new one was the zits.
So, I'm not sick yet. With Osha I never got sick, just smells. With Ari I was convinced I was having twins because I was so sick. The midwives laughed and said that was a girl. So perhaps I'm expecting a boy?
QOTD, shoot, I always post those dreams on here. Can't think which one is best.
fx to all those getting ready to test/insem/start a new cycle! :)
afu, dp had peak on the monitor this morning although she feels she ovulated yesterday. she also saw her acupuncture dr yesterday who says her pulse is good. :) anyways, we are right on track for cd1 being march 25th (that's my prediction). i forgot to mention that our re also tested dp's amh and it came back at 2.2 which is "normal". so we wait patiently for af to arrive (can we be moved there please?). in the meantime, we have our trip to get ready for. our doggie is already signed up for boarding, i need to order some pounds and euros (we have a short layover in amsterdam) and a travel plug. dp and i have decided to buy an ipad2!! of course she wants to rush out and get it tomorrow...lol! i'm also researching an ultra wide lens for our canon 50d.
my sil is measuring 38 weeks at 35 weeks and babe still hasn't turned. if things stay the same by her next appt, the midwife wants to schedule a section. :( please send baby turning vibes across the pond (or across the north sea in the case of nos).
g
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