Mimim, I see your point about the 3 months thing... when you see it in black and white it does sound like a short time. Yet the 3 months have seemed really long to me, and I am just used to relationships which are pretty established by this point...where "I love you"has been said, basically. I'm not asking to be engaged to be married or moving in with the guy, but I am usually more sure of where things stand, and am feeling more closeness and connection. A few months ago I was dating a guy who, while not as long distance as LCG, was still a good 45 minute drive away, we could only see each other once or twice a week, and in the 7 weeks we were together we got so close, we talked loads on the phone and were really open and honest with each other. So I know that it is possible. I don't really get the point of playing it safe for months as he seems to want to do, b/c I still get attached and hurt anyway, even tho I am not letting myself fully fall in love with him... I think you might as well go all in and see what there is between you.
It's possibly true that he doesn't want to be as close as I want us to be yet, but it's not as if my email was talking about any of that 'relationship stuff, it was just a normal friendly email about what I'd been up to on my holiday so far and what was going on for me.'So him not responding to it just shows a total lack of interest and possibly self absorption as well. I also remember reading a relationship book that said people often diffuse their "love energy" amongst lots of friends of the opposite sex, and then have less of it for their partner...so true in his case since he is a roaring socialite and has many close female friends - which I'm not jealous of, but he has himself said that he finds it a bit much sometimes.
Attuned Mama, I had to laugh at your mention of him being immature since he's nearly twice my age and has this really émotionally mature persona'. I am however starting to wonder if it's all BS, b/c he is clearly quite scared of commitment, and has shown a real lack of emotional sensitivity at times - e.g after my birthday dinner I was a bit upset about something harsh a good friend said and he totally dismissed it and basically told me not to feel what I felt, sticking up for my friend! (He was at the dinner too). The reasons I'm finding it so hard to let go of this guy is that I can see so much potential - the first few weekends we spent together were SO amazing and so connected, and since then he just seems to be putting one barrier after another between us. And the other reason is, well, sad as it is, I really like being in a relationship, and the thought of starting all over again looking for someone is so depressing. But I cheered myself up last night though thinking of all the summer festivals I plan to go to and how there will definitely be younger, more attractive and interesting guys there ;)
In my opinion, it's best to start dating when you honestly feel ready and not worry about "appropriate" time frames.
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