I don't have any suggestions but I'm subbing. My 2.5 year old's whining is making me into a monster mama. I'm feeling some serious rage right now after dealing with incessant whining for days and days. I want to cry or scream or tear my hair out and my discipline strategies are gone- everything is threats and bribes and time outs. :( Hate hate hate hate hate the whining.
The WHINING is driving me INSANE!!!!!! - Page 2
My son is 19mo and is starting the same thing. What I've found what works for me is telling him in a very calm voice is that"Mommy doesn't listen to whining voices, I can't understand you. When you are ready to talk to mommy like a big boy then I will listen to you" then ignore him and go about my day. And eventhough it's driving me nuts inside remaining cool and calm on the outside is important because he is looking for a rise from me from the whining. When he realizes his whining does nothing to get my attention he will eventually stop and start to talk more normally. Good Luck :-)
man, i can completely relate. my little guy is 27 months and driving me CRAZY. so so cute and funny one minute and whining and kicking me during diaper changes and just hounding me the next. he talks a lot, but not too much english (still baby talk) and i think he is really frustrated that he's not being understood as much as he understands. things usually wind up with me yelling "JUST BE QUIET AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" which feels totally shitty, of course, and doesn't solve anything.
we use movies (we have a computer, no tv) to get little breaks but the unfortunate thing about that is then he's whining all the time to watch a movie. we've tried designating specific times to watch, but it doesn't work for us-- my mom is sick, i work varied hours, so we need those little breaks at all sorts of random times.
a few things that do work for us- repeating back calmly what he said. sometimes he just wants to be heard. staying calm, finding my inner zen monk situation. (doesn't work when i'm over tired.) taking my own breaks. sometimes i lock myself in the bathroom to eat a meal, just to get some alone time.
i'm going to start saying, "i can't hear you when you are whining" and i think i need a day off, too, of just peace and solitude, so i'm gonna have to schedule that in.
Including my own child, step children, and all the children I've come across in my 15 years of teaching...the one thing that works universally is saying, "I can't understand you when you talk like that. Use a normal voice please". Then I ignore them until they use a normal voice. It almost always works instantly. The important part is the ignoring. :)
Yes, the whining makes me crazy.
A friend of mine --a mom I admire very much-- used this technique with her kid; She told him she couldn't understand him when he spoke like that. (whined)
So, I do this with my girl now. If she starts getting into a whining jag I just tell her; "I'm sorry, honey, I just can't understand you when you talk like that. I can't understand you when you whine. Can you use your normal voice, please?" It works most of the time.
When I was little, my neighbor's mom hated whining so much that she would actually smack her kids when they did. She said she preferred crying to whining. That's just nuts, to me. But, yes, the whining is so very grating. I would never ever EVER whack my kid, but I do walk out of the room, sometimes.
OMG, I'm right there with you. DD was stuck at home sick all last week and it seriously took I had to keep it together. I was so happy to drop her off at school today.
Here's the thing, she has been screaming and whining and clinging to me for 7 days straight, but today at school she was happy and "had a great day". I am clearly doing something wrong here... it's so frustrating. Her brother was frustrating as a toddler but I could always redirect him; DD just cries and cries and cries. She is so stubborn. I think maybe all I can do is survive this phase.
Ds is a whiner lately. I have had limited success by turning things around playfully ni.e. "I don't want to go to bed, I want to stay uuuuuuuup" and I'll say "What? I acn't hear you through all that whining, did you say you wanted to wear a bag of potatoes on your head?" And then he starts laughing at his silly mother who can't hear and he forgets about whatever he was whining about. but he is a very silly guy. I can imagine that to some kids this would feel like they were being made fun of or their feelings not taken seriously. But for us it does work sometimes. But you have to be in the mood for silliness...sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not.
Dragging the child to playgroup, or library readings usually resulted in some relaxation for me, while I was there, because the other children were filling in on her play/contact needs.
Putting DD in a stroller and going for a walk is also a good sanity saver. Kids are usually more bearable outdoors.
On the eating thing. Tell him he first has to finish his food and then he can get something new. He'll protest some, but if you stay hard, he'll get the lesson.
Whining makes me go nuts, too. DD eventually grew out of it, but I can't really claim my mothering skills were the reason. Just tell yourself, it's a phase and it will stop as long you don't encourage it.