Jill, I'm glad you have such a wonderful DH to help. For now at least you are still being allowed some activity, even just light duty. I know that staying off bedrest as long as possible without making things worse is usually the goal. Do you have anyone other than DH to help look after your 18 month old. I'll be keeping you and this LO in my prayers, for a full term pregnancy and no more complications.
Carrie, this may seem like a stupid question, but have you actually talked it over with your DH? I know I sometimes get things all worked up in my head and then when I finally talk about it with DH he can't understand why I didn't just say something. His favorite thing to tell me is "Don't make me guess, you know I'll always get it wrong." Its his way of saying he can't read my mind. Maybe just telling him how stressed you are about this and how much it would help you emotionally if he started working on bedtime changes straight away. Then leave the house just before DD's bedtime so she can't appeal to your emotions and be gone for long enough that DH can get her settled, but not so long that if its a disaster the first time they are both in a mess when you get back (like find something you need to go to the store for and be gone about an hour.)