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March chat thread - Page 2

post #21 of 181

Jill, I'm glad you have such a wonderful DH to help. For now at least you are still being allowed some activity, even just light duty. I know that staying off bedrest as long as possible without making things worse is usually the goal. Do you have anyone other than DH to help look after your 18 month old. I'll be keeping you and this LO in my prayers, for a full term pregnancy and no more complications.

 

Carrie, this may seem like a stupid question, but have you actually talked it over with your DH? I know I sometimes get things all worked up in my head and then when I finally talk about it with DH he can't understand why I didn't just say something. His favorite thing to tell me is "Don't make me guess, you know I'll always get it wrong." Its his way of saying he can't read my mind. Maybe just telling him how stressed you are about this and how much it would help you emotionally if he started working on bedtime changes straight away. Then leave the house just before DD's bedtime so she can't appeal to your emotions and be gone for long enough that DH can get her settled, but not so long that if its a disaster the first time they are both in a mess when you get back (like find something you need to go to the store for and be gone about an hour.)

post #22 of 181
@ Jill

That sucks greensad.gif

At 15 weeks 4 days, I am finally comfy because I begged my mum for money to get maternity clothes. Macy's has a Motherhood section and I got two bras and two tanks for$ 65! I am just wearing my too short regular shirts over them. So much better!

I sometimes feel the baby, but it is still very infrequent and faint.

Apparently, my OB says 5'5" 122lbs is too fat! Yeah, I need to switch. We are still hoping for a midwife, but unless we take out a title loan on our one car, I don't know how we can afford it.
post #23 of 181

I'm 5'4 and weighed 246 at my last appt and my midwife said "Your weight is fine." Obviously I could stand to lose quite a few pounds when I'm not pregnant, but they shouldn't be harassing you about your weight.
 

Does your insurance not cover midwives? Ours won't cover a homebirth, but they do cover birthing centers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by greencarnation View Post

@ Jill

That sucks greensad.gif

At 15 weeks 4 days, I am finally comfy because I begged my mum for money to get maternity clothes. Macy's has a Motherhood section and I got two bras and two tanks for$ 65! I am just wearing my too short regular shirts over them. So much better!

I sometimes feel the baby, but it is still very infrequent and faint.

Apparently, my OB says 5'5" 122lbs is too fat! Yeah, I need to switch. We are still hoping for a midwife, but unless we take out a title loan on our one car, I don't know how we can afford it.


 

post #24 of 181
OMG!

My mum found out I can still be under my fathers insurance, even though I am married. That means I can use one of the two hospitals with midwives' groups!

So, so, happy now!!!

smile.gif
post #25 of 181


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by greencarnation View Post

OMG!

My mum found out I can still be under my fathers insurance, even though I am married. That means I can use one of the two hospitals with midwives' groups!

So, so, happy now!!!

smile.gif


So glad you have a solution. Your OB sounds awful. I'm 5ft2 and at my last appointment weighed 193lb (although I'm now down to 191lb) and my MW didn't even mention it. She has suggested I try not to gain as much as last time, but that's only to help prevent my waters breaking at the start of labor like last time.

 

Sounds like you need to move to another provider regardless of where you birth.

 

One thing I love about living in Florida, is that they have this wonderful law that Health Insurance companies HAVE to cover homebirths, and if there are no network providers (and there are never network providers) you can apply for a network exemption so that the CNM is covered as if they are in network. I'm in the process of trying to get my exemption right now, just waiting to hear back from the Health Insurance Co. If I don't get it they still cover 70% of a homebirth.

 

For others it might be worth checking if your state has a similar provision.

 

post #26 of 181


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynann View Post

Carrie, this may seem like a stupid question, but have you actually talked it over with your DH? 

 

Sigh. Not stupid. I think you're on to something. I've only mentioned it passively, as in, "Maybe soon you can help put her to bed," or "I'm really tired of doing bedtime,".  He has no idea I'm THAT stressed over it. Maybe we should have a conversation and come up with a plan. Running out to the store or something for an hour would totally be doable. Thanks, Lyn. You're awesome!

post #27 of 181


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post


 

 

Sigh. Not stupid. I think you're on to something. I've only mentioned it passively, as in, "Maybe soon you can help put her to bed," or "I'm really tired of doing bedtime,".  He has no idea I'm THAT stressed over it. Maybe we should have a conversation and come up with a plan. Running out to the store or something for an hour would totally be doable. Thanks, Lyn. You're awesome!


Carrie, I'm glad I asked now.

 

DH and I have had that "I don't read minds, why didn't you say something sooner" conversation many times over the last few years. Let him know how you FEEL as well as how important it is that DD gets plenty of time to adjust so she doesn't associate it with the new baby. DH suggested that your DH comes up with a special routine that is just between him & DD, so that its their special time together at the end of the day. That's how my DH does it with our DS. They have their own special rituals around bedtime so that its fun but also settles DS down ready to fall asleep.

 

When your DH does take over you should try to be out of the house every night during that time until your DD gets settled into her new routine. That way she has to adjust, and she can't play on your emotions to try and get her own way.

 

post #28 of 181

We switched up the bedtime routine when I started taking a college class on Thursday nights. Evie (my 16 month old DD) was used to nursing to sleep. The first week, she brought him the nursing pillow and wanted him to help her look for me. She got a little upset, but he took her for a walk in the stroller and she fell asleep. The second week, she crawled into his lap and went to sleep.

 

I'm really glad that we HAD to make the switch. Otherwise, I probably would have let myself get progressively more overwhelmed. I wish I had started it sooner because it really has a big effect on my mood when I have more "me time".
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post


 

 

Sigh. Not stupid. I think you're on to something. I've only mentioned it passively, as in, "Maybe soon you can help put her to bed," or "I'm really tired of doing bedtime,".  He has no idea I'm THAT stressed over it. Maybe we should have a conversation and come up with a plan. Running out to the store or something for an hour would totally be doable. Thanks, Lyn. You're awesome!



 

post #29 of 181
@ Lynann

Nah, VA just recently legalized lay midwives. It is not the most homebirth friendly of areas.
post #30 of 181
Thread Starter 

Feeling slightly more alive today, I am functioning at least thanks to yet another dose of antibiotics. Sigh, I've never been sick during a pg as I have with this one. I was up every hour during the night of course and I could instantly tell the difference when they finally kicked in. 10 years of no antibiotic use to be undone by one baby. eyesroll.gif I knew I made the right decision to go in yesterday when I had to get myself and two kids dressed to go, it took me an hour because I had to keep lying on the floor to catch my breath. Took my pulse and I was so short of breath that I was 110, I'm normally one of those 60 people with a BP barely over a 100, not yesterday. So I'm functioning I managed to attend my work training this morning, I decided that I'd get more rest sitting there then at home with my children! DD1's school ends today for spring break and then I'm looking forward to recovering at home for a few more days. 

post #31 of 181

Carrie, I have so been there. Obviously not with bedtime stuff, but there have been many times since DH and I moved in together that I have gone for weeks feeling kind of resentful because of something he was doing/not doing and finally would loose my temper about it. I am starting to learn that most men have no idea what you want/need unless you ask them very very clearly, and then they are more than happy to oblige you! It really is so effective to simply sit down with DH and make sure you have his undivided attention, and just say "DH I really need you to start helping me with this, and here is why, I would really appreciate it, thanks!" I have made more progress using this approach in the past year, than hinting at stuff over the past 6 years since we started dating! I don't know why, but it seems like a lot of women have a really hard time being direct when they want something, me included. I am so glad Lyn brought this up!

 

 

Quote:
Apparently, my OB says 5'5" 122lbs is too fat! Yeah, I need to switch. We are still hoping for a midwife, but unless we take out a title loan on our one car, I don't know how we can afford it.

Yeah, that is crazy. That OB must be operating off of her/his own crazy standards, because that  height and weight is actually on the lower end of the normal BMI range, which is what a lot of Dr.s use to asses weight.

post #32 of 181

Yesterday I finally went a bought a pregnancy pillow for sleeping with. I got the Boppy Cuddle pillow because I didn't want something that would take over the entire bed.

 

It is so comfy and cuddly I don't know why I didn't get something like this last time. DH even tried to steal it off me during the night.

 

I'm going to be adding this to my can't live without list.

post #33 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynann View Post

Yesterday I finally went a bought a pregnancy pillow for sleeping with. I got the Boppy Cuddle pillow because I didn't want something that would take over the entire bed.

 

It is so comfy and cuddly I don't know why I didn't get something like this last time. DH even tried to steal it off me during the night.

 

I'm going to be adding this to my can't live without list.


I've been looking at these... Along with everything else I got rid of, my body pillow was one of them. It smelled sweetly of breast milk, and I just couldn't deal with that after our loss. I got rid of everything thinking my life was over. How short sighted we become in the midst of grief....now I need everything I got rid of. SIGH. Soooo...though I'm the mom of 5, I have nothing. Tell me about the Boppy....how is it different from other body pillows?
post #34 of 181


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerging butterfly View Post
 Tell me about the Boppy....how is it different from other body pillows?


I haven't tried any others, but all the reviews I've read mention how big they are and how much they take over even a king size bed. We have a queen size so there was no way I wanted to get a huge body pillow, as I like sharing a bed with my DH.

 

The Boppy Cuddle pillow is kidney shaped and small enough to not take over the bed, but big enough to work. The thin end is fairly firm and the large end is nice and squiggy and soft. Right now I'm using the thin end between my thighs and cuddling the top of the large end, but I think I might end up turning it around when my belly gets a lot bigger.

 

Last time I just used a cheap leg wedge pillow that didn't work very well. I'm so glad DH indulged me on the proper pregnancy pillow this time.

post #35 of 181

Just got my appointment for my 20 week ultrasound! March 22! Glee! :D

post #36 of 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

Just got my appointment for my 20 week ultrasound! March 22! Glee! :D



EEEEEEE!!!  We are going on the same day!!!!  YAYAYAYAY!!!!

 

Re: pillows - I'd be lost w/o my boppy pillow.  It's really the only way I can get comfy now at night.  I haul it back and forth thru the night even if DD wakes up and needs me!

 

I still haven't talked to DH about bedtime.  Soon.  I promise.

post #37 of 181


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post





EEEEEEE!!!  We are going on the same day!!!!  YAYAYAYAY!!!!

 

Re: pillows - I'd be lost w/o my boppy pillow.  It's really the only way I can get comfy now at night.  I haul it back and forth thru the night even if DD wakes up and needs me!

 

I still haven't talked to DH about bedtime.  Soon.  I promise.



Oh, how funny! I thought they were close, but I was being lazy! :D My appointment is at 1115 pst! Fun! We can quit being impatient together! :D (Unless we have shy babies)

post #38 of 181

I finally felt the baby move!  This is my fourth time with an anterior placenta.  So far I haven't felt anything...not a tickle or nothing.  Then Friday night I was sitting there and not only did I get a kick good enough to make me gasp, but I could see and feel the knee going back and forth across my belly.  It was so random and cool.  And of course I haven't felt anything since. eyesroll.gif I am 17 weeks so hopefully soon.  This pregnancy has been so mellow that I would like a reminder that I am in fact pregnant.

 

After pretty much giving up on midwives, I think I found the perfect one.  My insurances would even be accepted with them!  They offer home birth and have a birth center.  I think I will take advantage of the center since my dp is so afraid of homebirth.  It's really the only birth compromise I'm willing to make so hopefully it works for him.  They are about an hour away though, which is a pain...but so worth it.  I will keep seeing my other doctors just to humor everyone, but it's such a relief to have the birth situation settled.

 

I go on the 22nd to find out boy or girl.  I still say boy.  We'll see. :)

 

I can't believe how far along we all are already!  This has definitely been the fastest pregnancy I have ever had.

post #39 of 181
I'll have to check out the boppy...we have a queen too and like you, I like sleeping with my mate. ;o)
post #40 of 181

We have a queen-sized bed, I'm a plus-size momma, and both Marc and I have regular body pillows.  We still have plenty of room left in the bed and have no problem snuggling.  I must say I wonder what you are all doing with body pillows that they take up so much room!  lol.gif

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