Hey...question about donated breastmilk?

[ClayS]

Hey  - I feel kind of wierd even posting here but I have a question...I'm a single dad to be  - my babe is due 7/28 (I'm having a baby via a surrogate), and obviously breastfeeding isn't really an option, ha - and so I've been planning on just formula feeding my baby, but this past weekend I attended some baby care classes that were being offered at the hospital and in the class on feeding they talked about all the benefits of breastmilk.  Also - a good friend of mine told me that her kids had her milk until they were 1 year old and she felt it was VERY beneficial to her kids.  So I've been doing some reasearch on the benefits and apparently there's an option I never even would have thought of - using a milk donor.  I found out that a breastmilk bank just DID open in my state (I'm in UT) but it's pretty far away from me and from the sound of the article it's only available to high risk babies.  I discovered there are sites though where you can be matched up with a donor...and I guess another option would be asking my surrogate to pump and send me her milk, which would be asking a lot - I have no idea if that's something she'd be open to doing but I might talk to her about it, she lives in a different state...CO, but I could handle the costs of shipping.  Does it sound crazy to even consider this option?  I know that totally formula fed babies turn out fine (my parents and almost all of their generation were formula fed) - but I never knew there was so much good stuff about breastmilk, and as a dad I want my babe to have the best!  Thanks!

[PatioGardener]

I think it sounds like a great idea! While I was pregnant (and obsessing about such things) I made sure that I had a milk donor set up in case something happened while I birthed and I couldn't breastfeed my baby. Everything went well so I didn't need her, but if for some reason I couldn't breastfeed I would definitely do my best to get breastmilk for my little guy.

Your surrogate may be happy to pump for your baby - worth asking her, anyway! If she can express the colostrum after birth that would be super too.

Congrats on your baby-to-be, and to MDC!

[poorlittlefish]

That is great! I also would ask if she would be willing to pump for you for at least a week to get the good colostrum.  Other sites to look at in case you don't know are eats on feets and milkshare.com.  Lots of mama's including myself have donated excess pumped milk on these sites.

[Ellien C]

Will you be using a day care? That's another place to ask about pumped milk. I know there is a mom at my day care's who's baby was allergic to her milk or something and she has bags and bags of frozen milk that she can't use. It might be possible for you to get milk from someone at the day care. But truly some people think it's totally weird, so approach gently.

[carepear]

Good job for trying to do the best for your baby!  I love it. 

I know that if I was a surrogate I would prefer that I be able to provide the baby with pumped milk.  I'm sure she is taking care of herself during the pregnancy and I don't think it would be that far fetched to think she would want to continue to provide the baby with the best possible start.

If she isn't open for a year see if she would be willing to do it short term.

[JudiAU]

People do it more often than you think. I donated to a women with an adopted baby a few years. She was able to keep her LO on bm exclusively for the first six months.

Under some circumstances, a doctor will right a prescription for bm from a bank. Worth exploring.

If you talk your surrogate, I would suggest a short term project like two months or so. I wouldn't even bring up a year.

[ClayS]

Thanks for all the helpful responses!  I'm going to bring it up when I talk to my surrogate on Thursday...I don't think I'll even suggest a year  like some of you said - but ask if this is something she'd be willing to do for a couple months or so.  I know she wants the best for my babe as well - and she has 2 kids of her own that she told me she breastfed.  I'll also research the option of finding a nearby donor - plenty of time until July!   I was thinking this sounded silly - but maybe it IS possible for my baby to have breastmilk!  Thanks again!