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If your DP gets home late every night- do you like or hate to cook dinner?

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 

I  hate the evening hours, because I think for most of us sah'rs, it is the hardest time of the day, especially if your DP works very late.  I can't stand that we can never eat together.

But... I like to cook his food and make a nice plate for him to eat. Most of the time I make things he likes and I just eat it too because I'd rather please him. He gets home around 9pm and eats while I'm finishing cleaning or nursing a wrestling babe. The thing is- I make a lot of trouble for myself with kitchen work. Most of my friends don't cook that much or tell their DH to pick something up on the way home. Why don't I feel like I can do this? DH might be slightly disappointed, but would understand.

What is your weekly menu  and dinner situation like?

  

 

 

post #2 of 19

I'm in a similar boat. I deal with it by not cooking every night. I usually eat a little bit with the kids at 5:30, then eat again with DH when he gets home around 8. Sometimes it's leftovers, sometimes a fresh meal, sometimes we get takeout.

 

It's hard, I always pictured eating family dinners together when I imagined becoming a SAHM. And I do like to cook for him and the family; it's just tough making 3 meals and 2 snacks daily for the kids and then making ANOTHER dinner on top of that. We try to eat all together on weekends.

post #3 of 19

I rarely eat with DH, I almost always eat with the kids and then he eats alone later when he gets in. It doesn't bother me, it used to more when we had less kids, but now that there are 3 hungry kids demanding food, I'm fine with eating with just them. I don't cook every night but that is because of our schedule so certain nights I cook large meals and then we eat the leftovers the next night when we get in later. On nights where the kids want a pizza or something, I have no problems telling DH to fend for himself. 

post #4 of 19

My DH gets home from job #2 at 8:30PM -we dont eat together as a family - we never have...frankly, eating together as a family was something we did in my own family that really drove me away at an early age  lol! 

my eldest has Crohns Disease, she and i eat a similar diet...mostly meat and vegetables - limited whole grains.  Then my 12 yr and my DH eat similar things too - when i cook - i make tons...then people can re-heat what they want, when they want. 

OP its nice that you leave your DH a plate of food.  I occasionally do that, and then i leave the dishes and clean up until the AM - my LO is usually happy to roll around the living room for 30 min while i clean up in the kitchen -(he is happiest in the AM)   are you saying the cooking and clean up is too much work right now?  that is FINE  things wont always be like this and you should give yourself a break - For me, lets say chicken breast is on sale - i get tons of it - put my LO in the backpack carrier and trim and cut up all the chicken at one time, some i put in a marinade for dinner, some i grill and later make into chicken salad, the rest - i leave raw in the fridge so i can cook something more quickly later on. 

post #5 of 19

My son and I eat four meals a day. Breakfast, lunch, tea at four and then dinner when husband gets home, usually at about 7:30. We don't usually add snacks.

 

The 4 pm meal is enough to get us through, and usually for my son bigger than his formal dinner. We have a fairly light meal, leftovers, cheese and crackers and fruit, yogurt etc. Eating at four has also totally eliminated the witching hour.

 

It is nice to eat as a family and my son loves to chat to his dad . I am pregnant and will be nursing so I have no problem finding room for four meals.

 

post #6 of 19


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeighPF View Post

My son and I eat four meals a day. Breakfast, lunch, tea at four and then dinner when husband gets home, usually at about 7:30. We don't usually add snacks.

 

The 4 pm meal is enough to get us through, and usually for my son bigger than his formal dinner. We have a fairly light meal, leftovers, cheese and crackers and fruit, yogurt etc. Eating at four has also totally eliminated the witching hour.

 

It is nice to eat as a family and my son loves to chat to his dad . I am pregnant and will be nursing so I have no problem finding room for four meals.

 

 

That is a FABULOUS idea! My kids go to bed at 7 now and I'd like to keep it that way for the time being, but when they're older I'm stealing this. I love teatime!
 

 

post #7 of 19

DH and I eat dinner after DD goes to bed, at about 9:30.  It really works out great for us.  We cook the meal together, eat it and clean up together.  It is nice to spend some time together and we have a great chance to talk this way.  If I'm making something especially complicated and DH is home, he will start some basic prep while I am putting DD to sleep.  

 

The 3 of us eat breakfast as a family together, DD has a snack before her nap at about 11:30ish and then DD and I eat lunch when she gets up from her nap at about 2:30-3ish.  Then I give DD her dinner at about 7.  I have found that DD prefers to eat dinner-type food at the 3ish meal and something lighter in the evenings.  Quite often DD's "dinner" is oatmeal or a plate of hummus, veggies and pita chips.

 

I know it seems different to eat so late, but I also grew up eating late (growing up we would have family dinner with my parents at about 8:30-9:00ish) so it is normal to me. 

post #8 of 19

I struggle with this all the time.  My dh doesn't work super-late, usually home by 7 or 7:30, but it's too late for all of us to eat together.  Usually I make something simple for the kids, and then I make a separate meal for dh and me after they're in bed. Sometimes I make a meal for all of us, and the kids eat their portion early, and dh and I eat later.  Sometimes I eat a little with the kids and a little with dh (maybe this is why I need to lose 10lbs). The kids go to bed at 8, so I try to make something for dh and me that will be ready quickly, sometimes I do the prep earlier in the day.

 

I feel kind of bad that we rarely eat together as a family, but I'm hoping it will be easier when the kids are older.  I also feel like my kids are becoming really picky eaters because I always cater to their food preferences and don't push them to eat new foods.  I feel like if they saw the whole family eating a new food, they might try it.  We're on a constant rotation of turkey burgers, spaghetti and meatballs, French toast, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, pizza.  Dh is pretty picky too. I used to like to cook, but now it's just sort of a hassle and source of frustration.

 

I like the afternoon tea idea, wish I could make that work somehow.

post #9 of 19

My husband doesn't often have to work late, maybe 2 times a week.  When he does he still comes home for dinner and then goes back to the office. I told him he is crazy but he feels strongly about seeing us, breaking bread and being part of the evening routine. He can't stand coming home and having our son already asleep.

 

We have been having family dinners since our son was an infant and I love the fact that most his friends (he's now 9) beg to stay for dinner when they come over.  It is so much more than the food, it is time to reconnect at the end of a busy day, laugh, play dinner games, etc. We all eat breakfast together too but its not the same.

 

 

post #10 of 19

We rarely eat dinner together anymore.  My DH owns his own company and tends to stay REALLY late (sometimes upwards of midnight-2am but usually more like 10-11).  We're gearing up for a move, so he's trying to get as many jobs done as he can before he has to shut down for 2+ weeks.  Once we move it will be much better b/c his shop will be on our property so he can stop to come in and eat. 

 

I really don't like to cook.  DH has always been the cook in our family.  I was never taught how to cook growing up, but I'm getting there.  DH is a really good cook, even everyone we know says so.  When it's just DS and I, I tend to stick to basic things like mac and cheese, spaghetti, etc.  I do not like frozen or prepackaged stuff, so until I get better at cooking we are limited.  Otherwise we eat a lot of leftovers.  DH eats the leftovers or he makes himself something else when he gets home. 

post #11 of 19

Mine gets home around midnight or later. Sometimes I save him a plate but he often doesn't eat it. It's something I've learned not to put a lot of effort into. 

post #12 of 19

I just have one menu plan for the week.  If DH gets home from work late, he gets a plate of whatever the rest of us ate for dinner or he can make himself sandwiches.  It's a personal preference of mine that we don't order in.  If you're struggling with the kitchen in the evening, leave it for morning (I do, and it's definitely less stressful to start the day with it then to end it by cleaning).

post #13 of 19

I feel it's important for us to have routine, family meals at home.  So I would cook even if it were just me and the kids.  Or just me all by myself.  It's nice if dh can join us, even if it's not often, but the reason he is working is so that we can have our home, and I can be home, and I can have good food to cook. So...Making sure I cook what he'll like and save it for him is part of how I express my appreciation for him.  We eat simply to begin with, not fancy, not gourmet.  Just the basics.  Putting some of that onto a plate for him and sticking it in the fridge is not a lot of extra work for me.

post #14 of 19

At this time of year, DH works 60-70 hours a week, and gets home around 11 pm most nights. He eats at work - the company pays. I cook for the kids and me, but a lot of it is my freezer meals. It's not worth getting into complicated meals with 6 yo, a 3 yo, a 15 month old, and a newborn :)

post #15 of 19

My wife usually gets home around 7 or 7:30, when the girls are already knee-deep in bedtime ritual.  So we eat dinner as a small family (me and the girls) at 5:30, and I make something that reheats well.  And then when my wife gets home, she helps get the kids to sleep, then sits down to dinner, and I usually have a cup of tea and keep her company.  Not ideal, but pretty nice.  We pretty much ALWAYS have breakfast as a family, though... Before my wife leaves for work, all 4 of us sit at the table and have some breakfast together... we figure a family meal is a family meal, no matter what time of day.

post #16 of 19

I like the breakfast-as-the-family-meal idea. My husband gets home late 2-3 nights a week, usually after 6:30 pm and our son goes to bed at 6 pm. Right now he's only 6 months old and we're about to start solids, but we all get up around 6 am and we could all have breakfast together. I'd like us to have at least one family meal per day. For dinners currently, I cook 3-4 nights a week and we eat together after the baby's asleep, and one or two nights we scrounge leftovers or sandwiches. 

post #17 of 19

another strong believer in cooking and eating healthy meals. I avoid eating out and take out as often as possible. I do only have one kiddo, and preggo with #2 due in May, so that may change in the beginning, but for now I do cook almost every night and eat with DS. I can't work around DH's schedule because he never knows when he's getting home. usually anywhere from 6:30- 10pm. Most nights are 8ish. he also works an hour away so coming home during the day isn't really an option. DS and I eat around 6:30 regardless and I save food for DH in the fridge. Or he can eat whatever..sandwiches or something else. granted, there are those nights that we get home later or whatever and sometimes all eat together at 7 or 7:30 but ds doesn't eat as much then because he will have had to snack beforehand to make it that long.

post #18 of 19

My husband usually gets home around 5, but a couple nights a week, he's not home until after 10.  On those nights, it's something extremely simple, like a frozen pizza or leftovers.  No way I'm cooking a full mean at 10.  I may make meatloaf or something earlier, and reheat some of that.  Certainly better than picking something up, AND it's cheaper.  Sometimes too I'll just make waffles.  A cinch to make, and fresh.

post #19 of 19

My husband gets home between 8:15-8:30p 3 nights a week.  I usually eat before because I can't wait till that late.  One or two of those nights I usually cook enough for both of us.  The babe is only 6 mos. so he doesn't really eat yet and is in bed by 8p usually. Then we have leftovers, veg burgers, etc on the nights I don't cook. For now, the baby is in the bouncy seat watching me while I cook and seems content to do so.   Sometimes I wear him on me but that is more difficult now that he is bigger and is grabbing stuff, etc.  He is just about too big for the bouncy seat, so I imagine I will just put a blanket down on the floor and let him hang there while I cook.  We do have a pack 'n play that I may use while I cook as well, esp for when he is mobile.  I usually try and clean some while I am cooking but do the rest once baby is in bed and may finish in the morning.  On the nights that we're home together, we usually share cooking/ cleaning responsibilities and eat together.

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