Worker Bee Mommas - Who Works FT Outside the Home?

[AKChix0r]

Last week I told DH that now I understood why women used to not work outside the home - they knew what their first trimesters were like! Dragging my nauseous, exhausted, bloated carcass into the office everyday is beginning to get to me. Not to mention all of my volunteer commitments and my side-job (Scentsy Consultant) - I'm not sure October can get here fast enough!

How are all of you coping with feeling like butt at work? Do you feel like you've been slacking in other areas of your life to maintain your work performance?

Also, working for a large company = constant disgusting smells. If it isn't too much cologne on a sales guy, someone cooks something horrid (or burns it) in the breakroom. How do you keep from snapping, crazy-pregnant-woman-style? How does your boss react to you spending more time in the restroom?

[StephandOwen]

I will preface this by saying I am not a ft worker. I am a ft student (taking 6 classes, but only 2 are on campus- the others are online) and I work very very pt (basically whenever I want).

I don't know how you all do it, honestly. I bow down to all the mamas who can continue to work ft while pregnant. I worked a full day on Friday (it was supposed to be a half day but they asked if I would stay the whole day). By the end of the day I felt like crawling in a hole and never coming back out. I didn't realize how much rest I was getting at home (while doing my online classes) until I was actually working all day (and at my job I don't ever sit down- I'm on my feet the entire time, minus my lunch break). Hopefully I get my energy back soon so I can start working more days, but until then I think I'll continue to take it easy....

[AKChix0r]

All I know is that I cannot WAIT to be a SAHM in October (not that I think it will be easy, it will just be more rewarding). I just don't know if I can wait that long! We could easily get by on just DH's income, but we are trying to pay off as much debt as humanly possible and stockpile some cash in savings before our new arrival shows up.

I find myself laying in bed each morning asking myself, "Do we really NEED to make double payments on that bill? Could I just find part-time work instead? Well, after I sleep a few more hours anyway..."

[Amy May]

I totally feel you!  My husband is writing his master's thesis and applying for jobs and working part time, so we are praying that he lands a permanent position by the time the baby comes!  I'm working fulltime in finance, but training to become a midwife.  Eventually, I need to leave my dayjob in order to be on-call for births, but financially right now, we definitely need my income. 

I'm pretty lucky in that physically I feel good (no nausea for the most part) outside of being exhausted.  Last week was totally insane- both of my teammates were unexpectedly out of the office the entire week, so I was covering for 3 jobs all week, and we have end-of-month deadlines.  Though getting paid for working overtime is nice, I don't exactly want to be working overtime!  And it is not like I can tell my boss why I'm so exhausted...  I'm definitely unmotivated to work, which is bad.  All I can think about is this amazing human being that is growing inside me. 

My office has a "mother's room" for nursing, with a padded bench.  I brought a small blanket I keep in my desk and laid down for 30 minutes one day last week- that made a huge difference.  It is hard to get away though, and I feel like I have to sneak in there, or else announce to the whole world I'm preggo. 

Ideally, after baby is born, I'll not go back to work (hopefully).  At least, in finance.  I intend to transition into midwifery.  That will be tough to juggle with a baby and being on-call, but I need to do an apprenticeship with other midwives before I can catch babies.  I'm getting certified as a Doula this weekend, and I also intend on getting certified as a childbirth educator and lactation consultant, and once I'm a momma, transitioning permanently into the birthing world. 

But in the mean time, first trimester is hard for working moms!  Keep your chin up.  I know it is hard for SAHMs too.  We don't yet "look" pregnant to the world, yet we feel yucky, tired, emotional, and we have no sympathy from the public.  I ride the train in the morning with a colleague & friend who is now 34 weeks with twins.  It is unbelievable how rude people are to her, and how every singe time she has to ask someone to slide over so she can sit down.  I absolutely think pregnant women are specially and should be treated special and pampered (my husband jokes that I hit on pregnant women).  But, the world at large doesn't know we're pregnant yet, so no special treatment! 

Sorry if I was ranting!

[~pi]

I have an unusual setup in that some days I work from home, and other days I travel. When I am home, feeling sick is not too much of a problem. I do need to be working and available for videoconferencing, but at least the commute is short, which makes it easier to grab another 20 minutes of rest in the morning, and I can make myself tea, etc.

My productivity is definitely flagging, though. Pre-pg, my home schedule was: work for 8 hours during the day, and usually another 2-4 hours after DS went to bed. Now, I am lucky when I can get a full 8 hours in. I am traveling next week so we'll see how that goes. Usually when I am away from home, I work my butt off (12-16 hours a day) to give me more free time the weeks I am home. I am not seeing how that will be possible next week, but we shall see.

I did start going for a long brisk walk at lunch recently just to get outside more, move a little, and ease the guilt I feel when I am totally exhausted at the end of the day (my otherwise preferred exercise time.) It has been helping a ton. I had to skip the walk today due to a meeting, and I am having serious nausea and end of day brain fog now.

[livacreature]

I've been off on vacation time this week, but I work as a social worker with folks with serious mental illnesses who are marginally housed.  Some of them, due to their illnesses, have poor personal hygiene.  It has never bothered me much in the past, but it really was getting to me last week.  I've been dragging and I'm really nervous because morning sickness has hit me pretty hard the past few days.  

(Though one of my clients tipped me off that I was pregnant.  She is a very observant lady and when I walked across the tv room to get something she looked at me and said "WOW!  Your boobs look even bigger!  You didn't need implants!"  Took the pregnancy test the next morning!)

On the side, I teach financial literacy courses a few times a month and am currently contracted doing database organization and design.  I can really use the extra money, but when I committed to these things, I didn't know I was pregnant and the tasks didn't seem so daunting!

It is really hard to stay focused and provide good psychosocial support when I'm so drained.  Usually I'm so on it, but it seems like I am watching the clock.  I'm used to going nonstop (working full time, full time graduate student, plus internship), and thankfully I finished my masters in December.  I'm overloaded with just work.

Hopefully we can get things arranged so Dad can be a SAHD or just work part time.  I am not cut out to be a stay at home parent, but we don't want Gizmo to be in daycare 40 hours a week either.  He's excited about the idea, we just have a ton of logistics to work out.

In the mean time, I'm dragging!

[Leiahs]

I worked FT as a secretary during my first pregnancy.  That would have been hard enough, but I also had bronchitis thrown in there with my first trimester.  THAT was a nightmare.  I kept making stupid mistakes on paperwork and forms (thanks, pregnancy brain), answering phones was difficult due to coughing, and the exhaustion was mind-blowing.  I could not survive a full day of work without finding an empty room during my lunch break (or in my car, when the weather was nice enough), and curling up and going to sleep.  Lucky I had an hour lunch break, or that would have never worked.  And even with that nap, I still fell asleep on the couch back at home once 7:30 or 8:00 rolled around. 

And even though I'm not a WOHM now, I find it's pretty difficult to keep up with my kids' schedules and my volunteer responsibilities... and forget about good housekeeping.  So often I wish I could just get in bed and sleep for a week straight and ignore everything else in the world. 

[akayerich]

I worked full time during my first pregnancy, right up till the day before I delivered.  This time, I work 3-4 days a week and it's still tough. I work 7am to 3pm, and it seems to get harder and harder to wake up at 5am, force myself to eat breakfast 'cause I know I'll be worse off without it, and drive the 40 minutes to work.  I'm a nurse in a nursing home, on my feet all day, and I can really relate to the trouble with all the smells.  Besides the pee, vomit, mucous (sorry), there are all the cleaning supplies and air fresheners.  Yuk!  And then, today, don't you know they started painting on my floor.  The paint fumes are awful, not to mention poisonous.  Sigh....  As far as my productivity, I still manage to get everything done.  But my attitude sucks.  And I know some of the residents are starting to wonder what's wrong with me.  I just keep telling myself "4 more weeks till the 2nd trimester".  Of course, then I'll be telling everyone about the pregnancy, and then they'll understand.  But by then I'll be feeling better (hopefully).

[mingus]

Thanks for this thread. It is nice to hear from others who are dragging themselves through out of the home work too. I will say that once I'm out and about I often feel a little better than when I'm home and maybe more focused on my symptoms, so I think both ways can be tough.

In the five days of the work week, I'm in 4 different places. Two days at my job, which is very fast paced (I do phone nursing at a pediatric practice), one day in the classroom (getting my psych nurse practitioner degree), one day at one clinical placement (child psychiatry outpatient), and one day at another clinical placement (residential treatment for adults with severe persistent mental illness... I feel you on the smells livacreature; at least our folks have steady access to showers, etc. whether or not they take advantage). I also have to squeeze in writing papers, reading for school, and the 30+ minute commute to drop my 6 year-old off at his (awesome, worth it, but far away) school every morning.

Today I'm just bone tired after 10 hours at the residential psych place. DH is traveling for work, so I'm taking advantage by going to bed by 9.

Come May, I'll be able to drop the residential psych placement, and I won't have to show up for class over the summer. So that break should help. I'm nervous about keeping on track with school throughout this pregnancy and the little one's early months (I'm due to graduate in 14 months), but I did manage to finish my doctorate on schedule when DS was just 4 months old. If I did it once, I can do it again, right?

Good luck to all the other employed/in school mamas. Hang in there!

[evillager]

Yes, I work FT and did with my first pregnancy as well. I have a pretty physical job and am lucky that I haven't been feeling too tired at work, but when I get home it's another story! I think I use up all my energy because I don't want to let my coworkers down, but then I have very little left over for my preschooler and husband in the evening. 

I have been seriously irritable at work, although I'm trying not to let it show too much. The annoying thing? I work with a woman who is in the beginning of her second trimester and she takes every opportunity to sit down and moves VERY slowly. Milking it. I will not become her! 

I actually think it would be far more challenging to stay home with my daughter feeling like I do right now. Luckily Dad's got it covered... I feel for all you SAHMs right now!

[theboysmama]

I work away from the home right now. Most weeks I work 4 10 hour days but occasionally I have to work a full 10 hr day on fri as well. I am a nanny and am absolutely exhausted. Fortunately this job is temporary, probably only until April or May. We really really needed the income so I had to take it. I lost a pregnancy in nov at 8 wks and was at this same job so this is not the first time I have had to deal with first tri morning sickness. I am not in an office so I can pee as much as I need to (actually helps the kids stay dry too :)). I am just so exhausted and then I come home and am a mom to my little ones and am just beat. Dh doesn't keep up with the house the way I like to and tonight I really don't even care. I am so wiped out. The clothes are clean who cares that they are in a big wrinkly pile on the couch.  (Not that any of them fit me anyways.)

[tank]

I work full time.  It is exhausting.  I actually have been getting through the day pretty well.  I just have to make sure I always bring cereal bars with me to snack on.  I am constantly working so I have to remind myself to eat a snack or I start to feel sick and I get so busy sometimes I forget.  I haven't been all that emotional at work thankfully.  Sometimes I get really thirsty and have to remember to drinkl too.  The biggest problem I have had is feeling tired after work.  We have a 30 min drive home and I am the only one that drives and it is killing me.  Once I sit down in the truck I am all yawns and by the time I get to the house I crash. Some days we even go to my DP band practice so that has been even more hellish.  I get tired and hungry and cranky and all I want to do is go home and sleep.  So, yah, it is cutting in on other things.  Normally I enjoy going to band practice after work but I just can't handle it right now.  It is causing some issues with me and my DP.

[corrabelle]

I'm a freelance illustrator, so I work full time, but from home, mostly. (I do have odd jobs outside the home from time to time-but not very often.) I basically put it all on hold though for the few weeks of pregnancy. I was exhausted and the nausea was horrid! (i didn't have that with either one of my first two kids!)

Anyway, to you mama's who work outside the home, I don't know how you do it! And especially if you already have wee ones! That has to be so draining! Hugs to all of you!

[baby.fatty]

I'm a high school teacher, and the primary earner in our household.  Right now I'm feeling pretty good, but I keep having "flash-forwards" where I remember how hard it was to manage my first pregnancy while teaching and dreading not being able to leave class to pee (or barf), the SMELLS, the wanting to cry every time a student is a jerk, the JUST WANTING TO SIT DOWN while standing at the board.  UGH. 

Then I try to remind myself that I won't be on a school exchange trip to Japan for weeks 9 and 10 of THIS pregnancy, and for that I can be thankful.  (Seriously: imagine not speaking the language and having someone serve you a seaweed salad and salmon for breakfast... when you were feeling horrible morning sickness). 

[dollyanna]

I'm just really freakin cranky!  And yeah, exhausted by the time I get home at the end of the day.  Luckily my nausea hasn't been that bad so far (though I did have a scary moment in a meeting last week).  I definitely need to figure out bringing some more snacks to get through the day so I don't end up ODing on vending machine fritos.  Who's got good snack ideas?  I also need to get back into the habit of cooking a bunch of food over the weekend so I don't have to worry about it during the week.

[LAWoman]

I can't say I'm quite as productive as I was before the exhaustion and nausea hit, but I'm honestly glad for the distraction of working. If I was home I'd just be obsessing about how lousy I feel. At least I have something else to focus on. I also think it would be way harder to be pregnant and home with my preschooler full time. My desk job is positively relaxing in comparison so no complaints from me. 

I'm actually finding it easier this time around too because now that I've been a mom for 3 years I guess I'm used to being exhausted all the time anyway. Now when the full on puking strats in another week or so for me I may feel differently becuase lets face it, puking at work is just embarassing. It's also a long run down the hall to get there. I like puking in the privacy of my own home. Last time around I only got sick at work twice though luckily. Both times after someone cooked fish in the microwave which is cruel even if there isn't a nauseous pregnant lady around.

[dollyanna]

Originally Posted by LAWoman 

 Last time around I only got sick at work twice though luckily. Both times after someone cooked fish in the microwave which is cruel even if there isn't a nauseous pregnant lady around.

Come to think of it, that should have been my 1st clue that I was pregnant. Someone microwaved fish and I nearly barfed.  I had to scrub the microwave the next day I could still smell it coming out of the vents when someone cooked their food.  Ugh.

[Mama~Love]

I work FT outside the home as well, from 2pm-10pm M-F. It's very hard, and DH expects me to return after my maternity leave is over, but I don't want to! I've waited too long for this, I'd rather sacrifice everything else if it means I can stay home.

[kdabbler]

I work full time, Monday through Friday. I'm an office manager. Don't hate me for this, but I'm feeling freaking awesome. Seriously. Before this pregnancy I had something going on that neither my doc or I could figure out, my PVCs, maybe anxiety attacks, blood pressure, hormones? I don't know but whatever it was  I had to be super careful about staying hydrated, exercise, and the right food. Now? I'm still eating right but I feel so much more on an even keel. I feel great so long as I don't let myself get too hungry. If I do, I go from needing to kill someone to nausea until I get something in my stomach. I do crash. It's not unusual for me right now to put the kids to bed and then follow shortly after. I'm thinking this is my reward after my pregnancy with dd#2. I missed most of the honeymoon period of the 2nd trimester because I had mono. It was awful. Pretty much the entire pregnancy I felt worn out and beaten down.

I plan to work up until I deliver (so long as the swelling feet in the 9th month doesn't get too bad) and then return to work after maternity leave. My dh has a very good job but with my added income, we're living comfortably.

[AGierald]

me! i work full time, 3rd shift, so 10pm until 6:30am. its been really rough... i work in a medical laboratory, so i've had to pass off specimens to coworkers when i just cant handle the smell, lol.  i would give anything to be a SAHM :(