Would you go to Vegas for best friend's bachelorette party?

[applecider]

I am conflicted. I have two boys, 5.5 and 2. The 5yo has spent a night away from me on many occasions, but the 2yo has not yet. I am totally ready to leave him for a night and I know he would be fine (we recently night-weaned) but I haven't done it yet. My best friend (I am a bridesmaid in the wedding) decided to have the bachelorette party in Vegas and it would be Friday and Saturday nights. So I would be gone for 3 days. My 2yo also still nurses 10 times a day. I'm not sure I want to go and leave him! I mean, I know it would be fun, although Vegas is really not my thing. They are not sure when it is happening yet, could be May or all the way till sometime in August. So, WWYD?

[Smidge]

I personally wouldn't go.  I think breaks for mama are important and I enjoy them.  However, 3 days away would be too long for me.  Things may be different if it wasn't Vegas and didn't cost and arm and a leg too :)  Good luck with your decision

[emilysmama]

I vote go.  It's not for that long, and your 2 year old will pick up where he left off.  My dd nursed until she weaned herself at the age of 3.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by Smidge 

I personally wouldn't go.  I think breaks for mama are important and I enjoy them.  However, 3 days away would be too long for me.  Things may be different if it wasn't Vegas and didn't cost and arm and a leg too :)  Good luck with your decision

Ditto this. For me, I wouldn't want to be away from my toddler for that long, esp. a toddler who's nursing 10 times a day. Kids that young have no sense of time, and you can't explain that you're coming back and when. I'd worry my DD would be distraught, that it would be awful for DH and whoever else was trying to care for her in my absence, and that I'd have way too much anxiety about it to enjoy the party.

As for the friend, I'd hope she'd understand. To me, if you plan a big, extravagant, multi-day, out-of-town event, you have to be understanding about friends who for whatever reason can't make it. It's not about how close you are with this friend, it's about the event not fitting your family's needs. No hard feelings either way, hopefully.

eta: I had a close friend die last summer when my DD was a few months shy of two, and was still nursing a lot both during the day and at night. It was further complicated by the fact that we had just moved a week before the funeral, so DD was unsettled and extra needy already. I agonized over whether to attend the out-of-town funeral or not. I ended up flying in and out the same day. It was more expensive but a good solution- I got to attend, which was so important to me, and I didn't have to worry about DD needing me in the night.

Maybe some compromise can be reached? A second party in town? A smaller girls' night out where you treat her to lots of drinks? Or would you feel comfortable coming for just one of the nights?

[nola79]

I would go. How close are you to Vegas? If you're still conflicted when the time comes, could you shorten the trip by a night?

[applecider]

Originally Posted by nola79 

I would go. How close are you to Vegas? If you're still conflicted when the time comes, could you shorten the trip by a night?

I thought about that, but not sure of the cost. I live in WA. I would do that if it didn't cost TOO much.

Also, the bride knows I may not be able to come and she's cool with it.

[new2this]

I would go. Kids may not understand but I also think parents don't give enough credit sometimes to the kids. Of corse I would miss DD but I wouldn't want to miss a big event in my best friends life that either. I would maybe look at shortening the trip though if possible but still go. 

[mamalisa]

I'd be off like a dirty shirt!  My dh is perfectly capable of taking care of our kids and I think it's good for everyone to miss everyone else sometimes.  I personally wouldn't worry about nursing, but that's me. I know other people feel differently about not being willing to risk the nursing relationship.

[pianojazzgirl]

I'd go (well... I would if we could afford it, lol!).  When my kids were the same age as yours I too had never been away from ds for a night, and not only did he nurse throughout the day, but had not night weaned either.  I guess ds was 26.5 months old at the time and dh took him to visit his parents.  They were gone for 2 days.  Ds was totally fine - no problem.  I was shocked, TBH!  He slept snuggled up to dh (didn't even ask to nurse) and had lots of fun during the day (and lots of attention from grandma and grandpa).  FWIW he continued to nurse after he got back with no change in routine.

ETA I should have said they were gone for 2 nights (3 days).

[lookatreestar]

i wouldn't go, but really under 3 is my cut off for overnights alone. and of course it would depend on my kids personality. i know as a younger sibling, i was fine if my parents left us since i had my older brother.

[shanniesue2]

DH and I went on a 4 day anniversary trip last summer (DS was 2 y 4 m).  When we left, he was still nursing several times during the day and occasionally at night but not every night).  I took my pump just in case.  We left him with my parents, and he did fine.  He had a couple of moments where he was sad for mommy and daddy.  But when we came back, he nursed like normal and we continued nursing until about 6 weeks ago.  It was really nice to have that time away tbh.  We missed him like crazy, but we had a good time and were able to just be grown ups for a little bit.  Definitely felt recharged when we got back.

[Ornery]

I would absolutely go, depending on who was staying with the little ones.  If it wasn't my husband, I would stay home at that age.  Otherwise, my DH is as capable and responsible as I am to take care of our children. 

[applecider]

Originally Posted by Ornery 

I would absolutely go, depending on who was staying with the little ones.  If it wasn't my husband, I would stay home at that age.  Otherwise, my DH is as capable and responsible as I am to take care of our children. 

Yes, it would be my dp. It's not that he's not capable and responsible, it's that he doesn't have boobs. I guess I am most worried about the nursing, for three whole days.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by applecider 

Originally Posted by Ornery 

I would absolutely go, depending on who was staying with the little ones.  If it wasn't my husband, I would stay home at that age.  Otherwise, my DH is as capable and responsible as I am to take care of our children. 

Yes, it would be my dp. It's not that he's not capable and responsible, it's that he doesn't have boobs. I guess I am most worried about the nursing, for three whole days.

More than likely, your ds will be fine.  Unless he's never taken comfort from your dh ever, which would be a problem, but if your dh is able to comfort your ds, it should be no problem.  My ds spends quite a bit of time with his dad (we are separated), every other weekend for 3 days, and then one night the off weeks.  He also spent a week with him last summer, and then a week with him in the fall (I went out of the country and couldn't take ds with me), and a week over Christmas.  He's been fine every time he's been away from me.  He did wean shortly after his second birthday (Jan 10th), which could have been partly due to my milk supply going down over Christmas, but he didn't wean any other time.  And, FWIW, he wasn't nightweaned until he was 19mo (overnights with his dad started right after we separated when ds was 10mo).

3 days your ds should be fine.  He might be a bit clingy when you get back for a few days, but if he's got a great relationship with his dad he also might not be.  And, when are you going to have another chance to go to Vegas with your best girl friends and have a great time?  I would go.

ETA - I would just take a pump with you so that you can pump for comfort.  Not necessarily to maintain supply, but for comfort b/c engorged boobs are no fun.

[Ornery]

I'm sorry - I didn't mean to imply that you didn't view your DH as responsible.  I just wasn't clear who was going to stay with your little ones.

I never worried about my milk production or nursing relationship with extended nursing.  Heck, I was in the hospital for over a week when my youngest was 8 months and we went straight back to full time nursing.  My experience with extended nursing was that it was never an issue for us to have to take a small break as long as I pumped to relieve engorgement.  If you are worried about it, maybe you could just go for one night instead of the whole three days?  That seems like a reasonable compromise to me. 

[weliveintheforest]

I'd wait and see exactly when, and then decide.  The later in the year, the more likely I would go, since the 2 year old would be a little older.

[Dandelionkid]

I think your boobs may miss your dd the most - ouchy. I left my 22 month old for two nights last year with dad and it was really hard- never left a kid that young before. Turned out fine- started again where we left off. A friend gave me good advice. She has left her kids for weekends very reluctantly, missed out on fun because of worrying about the kids only to discover that they had done fine and were not changed when she got back. She told me I may as well have fun while I can because the kids will be waiting right where we left off once I get home. 

[junipermuse]

I would totally go. It sounds like a lot of fun. I left my dd for 3 days when she was about 14 months, she was still nursing around the clock, but she and daddy did great and she picked up where she left off with regards to the nursing. I wouldn't have left her for that long at that age but it was a family emergency. At 2 I left her overnight one night with her grandparents and then I left her for 2 nights with daddy again, so I could go to a LLL conference (kind of ironic I know, but I was hugely pregnant and didn't think I could deal with her alone for 3 days). She was a total boob addict, but she did great every time. Definitely bring a pump with you though, being engorged will put a damper on your fun.

[TiredX2]

I wouldn't, but that doesn't mean *you* shouldn't.  If you want to, you might want to try a trial run with you being gone at least a month in advance to see how it goes.

But Vegas just isn't my bag, either.

[onlyzombiecat]

If the big concern is nursing then I would probably go. At 2 years I wouldn't think it would disrupt things too much.

If you think in all other respects your dc will be fine without you for 3 days then I would just go and have fun.