Would you go to Vegas for best friend's bachelorette party? - Page 2

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by mamalisa 

I'd be off like a dirty shirt!  My dh is perfectly capable of taking care of our kids and I think it's good for everyone to miss everyone else sometimes.  I personally wouldn't worry about nursing, but that's me. I know other people feel differently about not being willing to risk the nursing relationship.

Me, too! I had the opportunity to go to Cabo for the cost of the flight and food when my youngest was that age. It was an excellent decision!

[LessTraveledBy]

There is no way I would go. To me a child that young (without much of a concept of time) is too young to be left for such a length of time. Of course the child would be "just fine," whatever that means, still alive and probably nursing when you'd get back. Yet, for a child who is not truly prepared for that (and a 2 yo cannot be) it is a veeery long time to long for mama and wonder what has happened to turn life up side down. The time when kids are that young is, in the end, very, very short.

However, I am also the type that I would not worry one bit what the friend thought. If a FRIEND, does not get it, too bad. A grown up can deal....

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by applecider 

 So I would be gone for 3 days. My 2yo also still nurses 10 times a day. I'm not sure I want to go and leave him! I mean, I know it would be fun, although Vegas is really not my thing.

I wouldn't go. I just wouldn't leave a nursing 2 year old that long. It could end the nursing relationship, and your child might be completely miserable. (Unless you are ready to wean and feel it would be easier this way)

Two is really little. And Vegas is.... well it's Vegas. It's not something I'd be away from my 2 year old over, even if he/she weren't nursing. 

(I did leave my 12 and 14 year olds to go to Vegas last year, but they like it when I leave now. Daddy feeds them pizza the whole time)

[applecider]

Well, I think I'll see if I can get a cheap flight and go for one night and two whole days. But if I can't find a cheap flight then I won't go. Honestly, I don't think it will be that much fun, I'm really not a big fan of Vegas, I'd only be going for her. Her other best friend can't go either (controlling husband) so maybe we'll end up doing something else with her. Thanks for the thoughts, ladies!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by applecider 
 Her other best friend can't go either (controlling husband) so maybe we'll end up doing something else with her. Thanks for the thoughts, ladies!

I would throw a fit if my DH wanted to go to vegas for 3 days for a bachelor party. I wouldn't consider a spouse controlling just for that (but I don't know they guy, may be he really is controlling in lots of ways).

[~Boudicca~]

Originally Posted by mamalisa 

I'd be off like a dirty shirt!  My dh is perfectly capable of taking care of our kids and I think it's good for everyone to miss everyone else sometimes.  I personally wouldn't worry about nursing, but that's me. I know other people feel differently about not being willing to risk the nursing relationship.

This is how I feel as well.

[D_McG]

I would be starting my countdown!! A blissful escape from reality. Sign me up. I left my first around 12 mos and my second.. I think she was 15 mos. It was awesome for all involved. Sure we missed each other but it also gave us great perspective and made EVERYONE a little less boob-centric It's so easy to get lost in motherhood and the weekend was a great way for us all to realize that I am part of but not the center of the family.

Also it's important to cultivate friendships with childless friends. Really you can't replace things like a girls weekend away.

[applecider]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I would throw a fit if my DH wanted to go to vegas for 3 days for a bachelor party. I wouldn't consider a spouse controlling just for that (but I don't know they guy, may be he really is controlling in lots of ways).

But for your very best friend in the whole world? My friend is like a sister to this girl. And she asked her DH and he said no. No questions, no discussion. My friend was talking to me about how worried she is for this friend, I can't imagine at least having a discussion about the trip with my spouse and then both coming to a conclusion that suits everyone.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I would throw a fit if my DH wanted to go to vegas for 3 days for a bachelor party. I wouldn't consider a spouse controlling just for that (but I don't know they guy, may be he really is controlling in lots of ways).

Why on earth would you throw a fit about that?

[Parker'smommy]

I would totally GO!!!  

In fact, I am already planning my 40th bday party with my bff and we are going to Vegas Baby!! My babe ( now 6 months) will be just over 2 years old at that time. I am pretty confident that we will still be nursing. But, my plan is to nightwean her before that. I then will pump for relief, if I need to when I'm gone. I have plenty of time to get her ready and I think it will be so much fun for ME and Daddy to have her by himself too. She is already great with him, so I'm not really worried. 

So, go for it....if you really want to. Sounds like you have time to get used to the idea and to prepare your toddler too. Have fun!!

[Parker'smommy]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I would throw a fit if my DH wanted to go to vegas for 3 days for a bachelor party. I wouldn't consider a spouse controlling just for that (but I don't know they guy, may be he really is controlling in lots of ways).

Really? You would throw a fit? Why? 

The only fit I would throw is because I wanted to go too :) lol....I LURVE Vegas! 

But really, my DH is sending me to Vegas in 18 months with his blessings. He trusts me. I'm just goin' to have some fun with my girls!!!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Parker'smommy 

Really? You would throw a fit? Why? 

going to a 3 day bachelor party just isn't something I would either want to do or feel comfortable with my DH doing, but I can't figure out a way to explain the reasons without sounding like I'm judging people who throw or attend such parties. I really don't care what other people do -- but in my marriage, it just wouldn't feel appropriate. My DH would totally agree. It isn't something that I would need to explain to him.

Because in my marriage it wouldn't feel appropriate, I can see why someone else's spouse would have an issue with it. May be the guy really is controlling, but this, alone, isn't controlling to me. I don't think it's helpful for friends to label other people's spouses as controlling. It just causes problems, leaving the friend feeling pulled between the party the bride is throwing and getting along with her spouse. To me, it kinda smacks of Bridezilla behavior -- "This is the party and I want and I don't care who gets hurt in the process! Any one who doesn't like my idea has control issues!"

Making a marriage work long term is difficult enough without friends declaring what your spouse should and shouldn't feel. Friends try NOT to cause issues in each other's marriages. Obviously, the friend and her husband have different ideas of what is appropriate. They have to work that out, which might be tricky for them.

If it were really about spending some quality time with a couple of close friends before her wedding, the bride would sit down with the friends and come up with a plan they really liked that actually worked for them.

My DH and I sometimes take trips without each other. When we do, it's about seeing other friends or family who live far away or doing something the other wouldn't enjoy (he's traveled with friends to see pro football games, I've gone on theater trips). 

[gbailey]

Me too. I'm living vicariously through you and OP. Sitting here salivating just thinking about the buffet at the Rio.
 

Originally Posted by Parker'smommy 

Really? You would throw a fit? Why? 

The only fit I would throw is because I wanted to go too :) lol....I LURVE Vegas! 

But really, my DH is sending me to Vegas in 18 months with his blessings. He trusts me. I'm just goin' to have some fun with my girls!!!

[applecider]

I am kinda annoyed too because she knows I may not be able to go and her other friend obviously can't go and the only other people who are going are her mother, sister and cousin who all live in states nearby Vegas. The rest of us live in WA. But hey, it's her party. I just hate Vegas. Personally, I would go for a three day hike in the woods for my bachelorette party!

[cristeen]

It kinda depends on what she has planned for the trip, but I'm picky that way.  Good food, maybe some drinks, a few shows, maybe some spa treatments, I'd jump on it.  Bar hopping until you pass out, not so much... but that's my preference. 

Vegas is a great place to visit, we actually took our honeymoon there.  Love it.  Lots of great food and great shows. 

At 2 years, I might shorten it to 2 days/1 night if I didn't think the LO could handle it, but otherwise it wouldn't be much of a concern for me. 

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by applecider 

I am kinda annoyed too because she knows I may not be able to go and her other friend obviously can't go and the only other people who are going are her mother, sister and cousin who all live in states nearby Vegas. The rest of us live in WA. But hey, it's her party. I just hate Vegas. Personally, I would go for a three day hike in the woods for my bachelorette party!

If you don't want to go I do think you have a perfectly reasonable excuse not wanting to leave your young children for so long even if you weren't nursing. If you really do want to go they'd be fine I'm sure.

Personally I didn't leave my dd at age 2 or age 5 to go on a 2 or 3 day trip. An occasion like this never really came up so I don't know if I would have gone or not.