Originally Posted by Parker'smommy
Really? You would throw a fit? Why?
going to a 3 day bachelor party just isn't something I would either want to do or feel comfortable with my DH doing, but I can't figure out a way to explain the reasons without sounding like I'm judging people who throw or attend such parties. I really don't care what other people do -- but in my marriage, it just wouldn't feel appropriate. My DH would totally agree. It isn't something that I would need to explain to him.
Because in my marriage it wouldn't feel appropriate, I can see why someone else's spouse would have an issue with it. May be the guy really is controlling, but this, alone, isn't controlling to me. I don't think it's helpful for friends to label other people's spouses as controlling. It just causes problems, leaving the friend feeling pulled between the party the bride is throwing and getting along with her spouse. To me, it kinda smacks of Bridezilla behavior -- "This is the party and I want and I don't care who gets hurt in the process! Any one who doesn't like my idea has control issues!"
Making a marriage work long term is difficult enough without friends declaring what your spouse should and shouldn't feel. Friends try NOT to cause issues in each other's marriages. Obviously, the friend and her husband have different ideas of what is appropriate. They have to work that out, which might be tricky for them.
If it were really about spending some quality time with a couple of close friends before her wedding, the bride would sit down with the friends and come up with a plan they really liked that actually worked for them.
My DH and I sometimes take trips without each other. When we do, it's about seeing other friends or family who live far away or doing something the other wouldn't enjoy (he's traveled with friends to see pro football games, I've gone on theater trips).