Hey, mamas! I just wanted to jump in here and lend some support, as well as introduce myself. I posted in a thread back a while ago-maybe in mental health on eating disorders. Here's a quick overview of my struggle and recovery
-Began my eating disorder at 12 years-Anorexia
-Continued w/ my ED through high school-I went back and forth between Anorexia w/ purging and Bulimia w/ restricting
-College was the real start of my spiral downward. I was sexually assaulted. My ED got really bad. Mostly Anorexia w/ purging. I was in therapy, but really wasn't ready.
-3 years ago this month I went into in-patient treatment at the Renfrew Center, FL. It was truely a life saver. I was way underweight. My mind didn't work very well. I had withered away. I remember being at my therapist's office w/ my parents before I went and her asking me if I was really ready to go. And I was!
I signed myself in and stayed for 3 months. My stay at the Renfrew center began as 100% supervised w/ out rights to walk the grounds to and Extended Care program, where we could go out to eat and other things in the community. I even went on an overnight trip.
I did a lot of work there-from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed-indiv. therapy, group therapy, art/movement, etc. You name it...I was doing it. I practiced yoga-a major love of my life now. It helped me to accept myself and the skin I am in, as well as find a peaceful place in my life.
When I was released I continued meeting w/ my therapist here and a nutritionist. However, those appointments grew less frequent b/c I was doing well. In August after my release I got pregnant and was medicine free
I was able to end my therapy sessions in October and haven't been back since. I was able to watch my body change and my skin stretch w/ such love and admiration, something that I was never able to do before. Even now, w/ my dd not too far from being two, I look at all my stretch marks and feel such
Food is now my friend. It nourishes my body, mind and spirit. When I look at it I see just that. I have made peace w/ my rape. I want to raise my dd in a way that she never feels pressure from me, society, or anyone else that she needs to look, feel, etc. a certain way. To me the best way of doing this is through modeling.
I write this post, not to make anyone feel bad, but to give hope to others struggling w/ the ED still. I realize that I have only been in recovery for 3 years, and I am not aware of what the universe will throw my way in the future. All I can hope is that the tools that I have learned can guide me w/ happiness and peace in my body and spirit!
Peace and Encouragement to all you mamas.
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