I'm going to come back and read all the posts more carefully again, but here's my brief story . . .
First of all, I am promising you that I am going to post NO WEIGHTS or CALORIE COUNTS because ladies, those are TRIGGERS. You don't need to read or write about them . . .I recommend that future posters avoid this, too!
Anyway, I started seriously overeating when I was about 16. I started purging, because frankly, it felt better than being full. This developed into a brief stint with anorexia, then back to plain ol' bulima . . .I never felt "disciplined" enough to be anorexic!
This life of HELL . . .pure hell (I know you can relate!) lasted until I met my now DH (I was about 26 and am now almost 31). I don't know what it was that did it . . .I'd been hospitalized, in therapy, blah, blah, and somehow, it all clicked. I always tell DH that he's been a miracle in my life for that reason. We fight a lot and I've wondered how the heck we ended up together, but I truly think that being with him saved me.
I kept so many journals back in "those days" and I am just so, so, sad to see what my life was like. I feel embarrassed and ashamed, even though I know that it wasn't my fault. I think back to periods of my life, and everything is tainted by the eating disorder. I want to go back in time and enjoy everything the 2nd time around instead of planning my next binge or canceling plans with friends because I was too bloated, sick, or sad to go out.
I've thought a lot about this . . .how did I get better? How did everything that was so wrong go so right?
Oh, and someone posted about Geneen Roth . . .RUN, do not walk, to get her books. These books helped me enormously! They are so practical (yeah, it's nice to know "why" you have an ED, but THEN what??), easy to read, and written with love.
I'll post more later . . .but you'll all be in my thoughts!