Heh; I'm so over summer! I think I get reverse seasonal affective disorder, or something - I hate sun, I hate heat and I hate humidity, all of which we have in abundance right now. And DD still keeps crawling into our bed at night, all sticky and clammy and hot, and insists on adhering to me. I haven't slept through the night for... yikes, I dunno, over three years? So a few months' break before the new baby comes would be really, really nice. But between DD and the weather - nope.
Also, it's too hot to sew, which partly explains the lethargy/laziness/procrastination issue. I did get inspired and start making a baby shirt last night, though! It was already cut out, so I skipped the most awful part of the sewing process. :p (Well, except for the buttonholes, which I have yet to master...) Hopefully I'll finish it today, which might give me a slight sense of achievement...
What makes it worse is DH's freaking efficiency. He started his own business last year, which is booming; every day he gets fanmail from people who think his work is the best thing since smoked paprika; he makes tons of money per hour (not tons all up, exactly, but I imagine he'll be very successful in a few years); and is generally fulfilling the entrepreneurial dream. Slowly building up a passive income, writing ebooks, becoming respected in his field, yadda yadda.
None of which I should complain about, of course! I'm glad he's home, and doing well, and enjoying work for the first time in years (he was on a helpdesk for WAY too long before that, and going slowly stir-crazy). And part of the reason I married him was because I admired his brain. But right now, it just throws my own depression and general uselessness into stark relief. I don't feel good at anything, and I feel like DH thinks the less of me because I don't start up some fantastic working-from-home business. He says he doesn't, but I still feel vaguely like I'm unworthy of being half of a Successful, High-Flying Couple. He keeps coming up with totally impractical ideas, like "Well, don't be depressed, write a cookbook!" or "Well, if you feel useless, why don't you learn to do copywriting like me?", or "You should take a design course, I bet you could sell nice maternity clothes online", or "Well, finish your novel". It's sweet that he thinks I'm capable of these things, but I don't know who he expects to take care of DD while I'm doing it... (Plus, as I've tried to explain, being good at cooking doesn't exactly translate to "People will buy a cookbook from someone they've never heard of"... and so on.) So that just makes me feel even more lame. It's not that I want a job either - and sadly, with the marketable skills I possess, it'd only be a minimum-wage retail-type job anyway, which would hardly make me feel like DH and I were both on the same level of success - but I want to do something that makes me feel less like a useless drain on society. Except that I don't want to do anything. (And yes, I know the whole "You're creating a new life, that's an accomplishment" line, but right now I don't buy it. Fourteen-year-old drug addicts can "accomplish" that, so I'm not convinced it's a particularly unique or noteworthy contribution in my case.)
Clearly I should have married an underachieving dimwit so I could feel good about myself. :p