The soup hit the fan today when my DH told MIL that we were NOT going to pay her rent. I wasn't present for any of this, I had to get the kids away, but I listened discreetly via the heating vent (which was pointless because DH told me everything when he got back downstairs). MIL was telling DH that it's between her and him (he numerous times told her that he needed first to discuss whatever with me).
Anyways, the reason for us not paying the rent is because MIL has made promise after promise to fix our lead and mold ridden appt. She has done *nothing* to help. We were set to have a City inspector to come yesterday (turned out to be an educator, so I just did surveys). The night before MIL was blaming me up and down and told me that had I not mentioned anything to the previous inspector (they came in December) about where the lead was coming from, we wouldn't be having these issues. DH and I had to stay up very late the other night cleaning out all of the tools and old doors and bags of concrete and construction materials from the laundry room, boiler room, and under the (enclosed) back stairs. The lead inspectors wanted all that stuff gone. It was supposed to be done much earlier and the in-laws (who own the house and the stuff) were supposed to do it. FIL helped minimally, mostly concerned about filling in a patch of concrete because it looked "ugly". We then had to dust, etc. and the in laws gave us zero help. I know we should've been gone earlier, but we were up to our eyeballs in debt which is finally almost paid down and we're moving asap.
MIL has given us a date of "May 1st". She told us that only $200 of the $500 we were supposed to pay is rent. Bull. She told us in the beginning that the $500 was to be rent and everything else was free. She insisted on paying for cell phone contracts for us (we're added to her contract and we don't pay her anything, we only bought our phones) and also insisted on giving us a cable box and internet. All things we could do without. She insisted (her way of tying her baby birdie down to the nest) on doing this.
Also during their argument, she told him that I had shoddy parenting skills (she used a different term...) because I don't always wash my kids hands (I do) and I don't mop daily (I mop weekly, she mops once a season maybe) and that I don't bathe my kids daily (I bathe them twice per week, but I wash what's dirty when it's dirty and they're always in clean clothes with teeth brushed and faces/hands/feet clean. My kids have sensory issues with water as well so actual baths are very difficult). She used this as a reason as to why my 14 month old had lead poisoning (blood level of 8... and this is why the City is involved).
After the argument, she left the house and took the truck my DH uses (in her name but he pays the insurance and sticker fees and everything else) and also took the keys to her truck. FIL took DHs car this morning and agreed to let my DH use the one truck. She left us with no vehicle to use, essentially.
Anyways, I really needed to vent. I'm starting to pack stuff that I can't see us really "using" in the next month away (books, etc). I'm just so frustrated! Grr!
We do help MIL a lot financially. We fill her truck up with gas frequently, and often get her some groceries when we go.
MIL complains about how broke she is but she's in college (because her cousins were in college and it's the "thing" to do) and could be working instead (got laid off in 09 for refusing to take a promotion.. very sketchy company). Her husband just got a job that pays just over minimum wage because he refuses to work in any profession where he has to talk to people or interact with anyone or write anything. It just really angers me.. I understand she's broke. I'm broke too. And my kids are sick because we live with a ton of mold and lead. We need to go. I'm sorry, but I can't let my kids get sick because you want me to feel sorry for you. There's stuff she can do to get help... we're not her only source of income.. maybe if she'd stop letting her 16yo daughter get a new pair of air jordans and an entire wardrobe and money for drugs/alcohol every month, she'd be able to make her mortgage on time.....
I need to get out.
I remember some of your previous threads and, tough as it is, sounds like it might be a blessing in disguise since getting out is most likely the best thing for your family.
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