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*** Bitter Sushi Ladies, March 2011 Thread *** - Page 17

post #321 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post

I think I was rude to the lady at the bank today. She asked me if I had any kids (this part isn't annoying, that is a normal question, I'm sure she just wanted to sell me an education savings plan if I said yes). I said, "Not yet." So she said, "Oh, you're still young, enjoy the life!". That bugged me, but I should have kept my mouth shut. Instead, I said, "Yep, I'm sure enjoying the infertility." redface.gif I regret saying anything, she didn't really deserve that, but URGH!

Oh, I wouldn't regret that all! Good on you.  If nothing else, it gave everyone here a bit of a giggle.

 

AFM: The ever dreaful AF arrived on Friday.  My periods are downright awful.  I have always suffered with them, and they have improved alot since I had the couple of uterine surgeries, but it still sucks. The worst part is, that many of the doctors reckon that a (successful) pregnancy would go a long way to settling the pain down for me. (HAH!)

The PMS is bad enough, but I'm tired of having 2-3 odd days each month where I am basically incapacitated to the point of not being able to leave the house.  It's ridiculous.  And it makes me angry. So I brought some vodka :)

 


 

 

post #322 of 421


So sorry kparker!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post
I said, "Not yet." So she said, "Oh, you're still young, enjoy the life!". That bugged me, but I should have kept my mouth shut. Instead, I said, "Yep, I'm sure enjoying the infertility." redface.gif I regret saying anything, she didn't really deserve that, but URGH!

Maybe she did not deserve that but if we stay silent, people will never change. I have read enough here to never assume anything. Like I don't talk about someone's obvious pregnancy until she does. (They always end up saying something.) I think it is great to give infertility a face, so to speak. I am these days quite ok by telling people that secondary infertility is more common than primary. Especially young people seem to think most people just have the amount of kids they want, when they want. Except the super few (not!) who are infertile, which "will never be me." I want to scream when people get married and say "we'll wait at least two years to ttc." I want to tell them they are nuts, as these people are often not that young to begin with.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk8shake View Post

 The worst part is, that many of the doctors reckon that a (successful) pregnancy would go a long way to settling the pain down for me. (HAH!)

The PMS is bad enough, but I'm tired of having 2-3 odd days each month where I am basically incapacitated to the point of not being able to leave the house.  It's ridiculous.  And it makes me angry. So I brought some vodka :)

I am so sorry! That sounds just awful. I used to have really painful periods when I was 12. I remember sitting at school, thinking I could not go home but was in such terrible pain. Now I wish someone had known and told me to go home. Over 60 year old male teacher... no way was I going to tell him. Also my parents were super strict about not missing school or hobbies, so I just assumed I had to sit there. I hope dd won't start her period at 11 like I did. :(

 

Our little guy has still not been adopted. He is sitting at the orphanage and on the website and I just want to cry. For best results, he needs surgery in some months. According to his country, better to stay at the orphanage than to be adopted by a family of a different faith. Just makes me want to cry. Dd prays for this baby every Sunday, probably more often. So do I.

 

Just waiting for my package in order to do the SA. I SO hope that there is something wrong there. I surprised myself with the thought that I will not push for the operation for dh, even if the urologist thinks it could help. I will tell him I need an answer, though: TTC (in this scenario meaning the operation), adoption, or no more kids. Right now dh just thinks we need to keep trying and see. I need answers and my arms are empty. I can deal but don't want limbo for another 10 years. We have always hoped for a large family, so I just don't know that dh could choose the last option, either. He is just still in the normal "first phase" wondering if he could love "someone else's" child. I know him and can answer that, but I realize I cannot arrive at the final decision for him.

 

If the SA is good, I don't know where to go from there. There is nothing obvious wrong with me (blood tests, ultrasound with specialist, regular cycles and ovulation), so I just pray they find something. At this point I need the answer more than I need a biological child. Otherwise I think dh will start to talk about adoption some 5 years from now (making dd 11 and him too old for many countries.) If I have immune issues or something, that is as good as the end of TTC for us, as there is no treatment in my country, and we could not afford it elsewhere.

 

So...... just waiting and hoping you all get out of here, soon.

post #323 of 421

Just had to tell you that I was reading through, and went "good on you"? "reckon"? She must be from...yep, Australia! wave.gif Anyway, sorry about mean old AF. Sounds like she's particularly unpleasant toward you. Hope the vodka does its job :)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk8shake View Post

Oh, I wouldn't regret that all! Good on you.  If nothing else, it gave everyone here a bit of a giggle.

 

AFM: The ever dreaful AF arrived on Friday.  My periods are downright awful.  I have always suffered with them, and they have improved alot since I had the couple of uterine surgeries, but it still sucks. The worst part is, that many of the doctors reckon that a (successful) pregnancy would go a long way to settling the pain down for me. (HAH!)

The PMS is bad enough, but I'm tired of having 2-3 odd days each month where I am basically incapacitated to the point of not being able to leave the house.  It's ridiculous.  And it makes me angry. So I brought some vodka :)

post #324 of 421
So I'm sick. Haven't been charting lately because, well, I haven't been sleeping now for several days, since Friday night really. Nothing has helped enough for me to sleep much, and now I have a low grade fever. I'm disoriented and exhausted, just want this to end. I wish I had better insurance, I miss being able to get seen without waiting several months or going to the emergency room.

Also, my little sister is pregnant again. She was worried I'd be upset that she can so easily conceive, so she hesitated telling me. I told her I believe I can't help feeling bitter or angry, but that my own anger and bitterness shouldn't ever keep me from celebrating her good news, and that she shouldn't feel bad about me feeling that way. I'm not bitter at her, I'm bitter at my situation in comparison to hers. She seemed to like my response. I hate that she was scared to tell me. I don't like people assuming things about me based on experiences with others (she got a bad reaction from someone else...which also pisses me off because that woman wasn't even dealing with infertility. Not having kids yet was her choice based on unstable lifestyle and marital problems).

Anyway, I'm so drained, and trying to work on my knitting, but I wanted to drop an update. Husband's appt is Wednesday, we'll see how that goes.
post #325 of 421

Aww Lillmom!!! I'm sooo happy for you, nice to see you too!!! I'm so glad to have foudn my way back around to support and foudn you!! I'm SOOOO Happy for you!! XOXOXOXOXOX

KEEP US POSTED!!!

 

I'm 4 DPO.... and holding! Here's hopping that maybe this time it will stick... I'm feeling pretty good, other then spotting at 1 DPO... which I've never had... Anyone else ever experiance this? it was light brown and light pink??

 

and we just picked out a new puppy.... I know, I know... I'm crazy but my Husband has been asking for a 2nd dog for years and our current pug needs a friend... My family laughs and tells me that just watch you'll get this dog a no sooner find out that you are pregnant... I hope that they are right! But also wrong.... It would be my luck!

 

Thanks for letting me be a part of this group... I'm glad to be back!

 

post #326 of 421

Kparker  hug.gif

 

Jennabella - Hope your other tests have a more positive result.

AGreenMum - Welcome!  wave.gif

 

Lavatea - I don't know how not to try either, and when we've missed a cycle for one reason or another it's all I can think about for the rest of the cycle, I beat myself up for missing an opportunity.

 

Kyamo - Heehee, that must have a felt a little good to say?!!

 

 

Objet - "I told her I believe I can't help feeling bitter or angry, but that my own anger and bitterness shouldn't ever keep me from celebrating her good news, and that she shouldn't feel bad about me feeling that way"   That's me, even though my first reaction to hearing  'I'm pregnant" is a negative one I am still happy for the person.

 

AFM I am cycle day 65.  So frustrated with that, not much else to say about it.  I don't see the doctor again until the end of April.  For awhile I felt like af was coming but I don't even feel that anymore.  I feel like a broken record, everyday same thing, never wanted af to come so bad before - don't think I've ever actually even wanted her to come before ever!!!

 

 

 

 

 

post #327 of 421

"Good on you" is Australian?? We definitely say that here in Texas, too. Reckon is all over the southern US, too. :D

 

My dh applied for a job in Australia, but we won't hear for awhile, and it wouldn't be till 2012. I would be so excited if he got it, though, since I've always wanted to live in Australia!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tantylynn View Post

Just had to tell you that I was reading through, and went "good on you"? "reckon"? She must be from...yep, Australia! wave.gif Anyway, sorry about mean old AF. Sounds like she's particularly unpleasant toward you. Hope the vodka does its job :)
 



 

post #328 of 421
Hi Tear blowkiss.gif I've been meaning to email you, but I've been doing so well staying away from TTC...A girl!? Wooooooo!

So get this, we used to have a plant nursery. We sold unusal plants and just about killed ourselves getting the place in order. Building huge bow shadehouses (greenhouses to you northern folk wink1.gif spreading gravel over an acre of property with a shovel and a wheel barrow, working in the flaming sun and hating our lives. We worked so hard. Just us. Miserable miserable miserable. Long story short, we just couldn't get enough customers to stay open. (city wouldn't let us put a sign out on the road irked.gif. Broken dreams, debt, blah blah blah.

Cut to a couple years ago we met this couple who has a son our son's age and they had opened a nursery in the same spot we had ours (Sure the damn work had already been done!)They started a co-op with organic vegetables, meat, raw milk everything.

We stoppped by there yesterday and the place was slamming! Frickin' 20 cars outside the gate,4 effing cash registers!
I really kind of felt ill. These people are really cool and even at my most bitter, I still am happy for them.
So I see the lady who owns behind the counter and I went over to tell her how awesome everything was.........You guessed it. She stepped out from behind the counter...9 months pregnant!

Anyway it really bothered me for a couple days, I think I'm better now. redface.gif

I had my last accupuncture appt today, kind of tired of going it's been 10 months after all. I find that I only really stress right before O worrying if I'll miss the egg (I Oed day 15 this month!!) I don't start stressing again until 9-10dpo.
Edited by enigo - 3/23/11 at 5:44am
post #329 of 421

 

Objet- I can totally relate... My sister in law and my best friend are both due at the same time, one started trying because she knew I was (sister-in-law has a VERY scary competitive streak) the other was just misscounting... I've learned to grow a thicker skin and crying does wonders for releasing your emotions.... It's easier said then done, but I must be positive, I have a nephew coming and a Sudeo Nephew coming! I'm pretty lucky!

 

Kyamo - I know how you feel, EVERYONE ask me well when are you going to start a family, I have so many times wanted to Say "I'm trying to!! Back off!" but I refrain and say "we are having fun trying..." It's so hard tho.... I just know that it will eat me inside if I don't some how find the silver lining in that... Just think of it this way: Some one thinks that you will be amazing mom- and you will... That's a nice complement! Think of it that way, even a prefect stranger can see that... Or she is trying to really sell you something... but I like my theroy better ;o)

 

Milk8Shake- Vodka does wonders... So does the Champers! Cheers! 

 

Emaya- Thank you for the Welcome, Do you like Gardening... My husband and I are getting into Gardening big time, it's really alot of fun, what's your favorite thing to grow? What Zone are you in for growing?

 

Kparker... I'm sorry..

 

Lillmom- You'll get there... xoxo, keep me in the loop...

 

 

post #330 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by tantylynn View Post

Just had to tell you that I was reading through, and went "good on you"? "reckon"? She must be from...yep, Australia! wave.gif Anyway, sorry about mean old AF. Sounds like she's particularly unpleasant toward you. Hope the vodka does its job :)
 

Hahah, that's hilarious.  I sometime have to think pretty hard about the colloquialisms I use on MDC.  Sometimes I feel like the only Aussie here, although I know of at least one other.

 

Monkeyscience, actually in Oz, we're far more likely to just say "onya".  I don't know whether we can claim the whole phrase though.  We are a bit of a lazy bunch, and a lot of words end up running together ie: "whaddyareckon"?  Teehee, "reckon" again :)

 

AF has buggered off for another month (thank heaven) and I am back to baseline.  I downloaded a fertility tracking app for my iphone, and I'm a bit unsure about trying this cycle.  The next 3 weekends consist of: hen's night, wedding, and wedding.  I would be basically due to test around the time of the second wedding, at which time we will be interstate at the in laws place.

Don't know if that is the best timing.  Also, I wanna cut loose at the hens and receptions.  Both are very dear friends, the second couple we rarely see because of distance.  At the risk of sounding like an alco, I can definitely say that excess alcohol will be consumed on these occasions. 

 

But..... I don't really wanna put it off another month.  Is it bad if I just "see what happens"??

 

post #331 of 421

monkey, milkshake, & tantylynn- I was going to say the exact same thing as monkeyscience about saying "reckon" in the southern U.S. I have been reckoning stuff my whole life! And I have also heard "good on you" as well, although personally I don't say that one. I had no idea Aussies said those too though!

 

smiles- if it makes you feel any better, the cycle I just finished was 110 days. Super frustrating. So I really do understand how miserable it is waiting for something, anything, to happen. I finally O'ed on day 97. (thank you acupuncturist!)

 

enigo - oh girl! I am so sorry that happened, with all your blood, sweat, and tears, and then to have the other family make good on it when you couldn't get business. I am SO sorry. And then the 9 mo pg woman, that's just the icing on the cake. I'm still hoping and praying for your little mini enigo to come. hug2.gif

 

objet- I feel the same way as you when I find out friends are pregnant. I am happy for them but sad for me. i think that is a very normal reaction given the situation all of us are in in our little group. I wish none of us had to go through that. Hope the appt. tomorrow for your hubby goes well. Keep us posted!

 

greenmum - thank you so much! It makes me so happy to know you are on my side! i know you were so positive on the long cycle board and I always really appreciated you! I hope it happens for both of us soon!!

 

LTB - just hope you get some answers soon, for your own sanity!

 

 

 

post #332 of 421

Enigo - holy cow, I can just picture it, after that bittersweet (mostly bitter) scene of four cash registrars, tons of customers, and then that woman stepping out and being gloriously pregnant... Ouch. And of COURSE we are "big" and don't begrudge others their joy, but we still hurt for ourselves.

Milk8shake - I personally behave as normal while in my fertile period (if there's a party, I PARTY). With my DD, my husband and I weren't TTC, and I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 7 weeks (let's just say I had ZERO clue about my cycles, fertility, ovulation, etc.) -- and those 7 weeks included the entire holiday season in all its celebratory glory (also at the risk of sounding like an alco, I cringe when I think that I was pregnant that New Years Eve...)

Greenmum- Yes, gardening is one of our biggest passions. Are you into veggie gardening or flowers/decorative? I'm just now sort of getting into flowers. It's all vegetables with us. Anything you can eat. We grow EVERYTHING (100 square meters of straight up veggies), and store/freeze a ton of it for winter. Our only limit is our climate (Sweden -- it's kind of like Vermont).

 

AFM, I'm having EWCM already today, CD 5. It was the same last cycle, lasted about three days, and then gone. I never got a positive OPK last cycle, but I started testing around CD 9 (which I thought was early, considering I have an average of 29 or 30 day cycles). Maybe I'm ovulating WAY early? Sigh. Maybe I need to start charting to be able to figure this out. I'm torn about charting, though, because I feel like I should be putting my energy into the adoption process we've started rather than my own infertility.

post #333 of 421

Emaya-We are pretty big veggie farmers- We have the same problem we live in Maine, which probably LOT like there, i bet we have the same or similar Climate. it's funny you say you started getting into Flowers, US TOO! We got some really cool Bearded Irises, that I cannot wait to see in full bloom this Spring-summer. But Veggies are the top crop, we do Tomatos, cukes, squash & green beans... but this summer we are going ALL out! Lettus, green beans, toms, cukes, pumkins, butternut again and some peas! I'm soooo excited, we love to garden! We compost too, we try to eat right and organic. We love to freeze yummy veggie and Cann teh rest for that cold winter day when you want a little tast of Summer! So great to hear you like it too!!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

Enigo - holy cow, I can just picture it, after that bittersweet (mostly bitter) scene of four cash registrars, tons of customers, and then that woman stepping out and being gloriously pregnant... Ouch. And of COURSE we are "big" and don't begrudge others their joy, but we still hurt for ourselves.

Milk8shake - I personally behave as normal while in my fertile period (if there's a party, I PARTY). With my DD, my husband and I weren't TTC, and I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 7 weeks (let's just say I had ZERO clue about my cycles, fertility, ovulation, etc.) -- and those 7 weeks included the entire holiday season in all its celebratory glory (also at the risk of sounding like an alco, I cringe when I think that I was pregnant that New Years Eve...)

Greenmum- Yes, gardening is one of our biggest passions. Are you into veggie gardening or flowers/decorative? I'm just now sort of getting into flowers. It's all vegetables with us. Anything you can eat. We grow EVERYTHING (100 square meters of straight up veggies), and store/freeze a ton of it for winter. Our only limit is our climate (Sweden -- it's kind of like Vermont).

 

AFM, I'm having EWCM already today, CD 5. It was the same last cycle, lasted about three days, and then gone. I never got a positive OPK last cycle, but I started testing around CD 9 (which I thought was early, considering I have an average of 29 or 30 day cycles). Maybe I'm ovulating WAY early? Sigh. Maybe I need to start charting to be able to figure this out. I'm torn about charting, though, because I feel like I should be putting my energy into the adoption process we've started rather than my own infertility.



 

post #334 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post

monkey, milkshake, & tantylynn- I was going to say the exact same thing as monkeyscience about saying "reckon" in the southern U.S. I have been reckoning stuff my whole life! And I have also heard "good on you" as well, although personally I don't say that one. I had no idea Aussies said those too though!

 

smiles- if it makes you feel any better, the cycle I just finished was 110 days. Super frustrating. So I really do understand how miserable it is waiting for something, anything, to happen. I finally O'ed on day 97. (thank you acupuncturist!)

 

enigo - oh girl! I am so sorry that happened, with all your blood, sweat, and tears, and then to have the other family make good on it when you couldn't get business. I am SO sorry. And then the 9 mo pg woman, that's just the icing on the cake. I'm still hoping and praying for your little mini enigo to come. hug2.gif

 

objet- I feel the same way as you when I find out friends are pregnant. I am happy for them but sad for me. i think that is a very normal reaction given the situation all of us are in in our little group. I wish none of us had to go through that. Hope the appt. tomorrow for your hubby goes well. Keep us posted!

 

greenmum - thank you so much! It makes me so happy to know you are on my side! i know you were so positive on the long cycle board and I always really appreciated you! I hope it happens for both of us soon!!

 

LTB - just hope you get some answers soon, for your own sanity!

 

 

 



110 DAYS!!!!!  That is horrible, sorry to hear that, are your cycles always long?  I'd just like to get back to tryng again.  I feel kinda helpless.

post #335 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smilesarefree View Post





110 DAYS!!!!!  That is horrible, sorry to hear that, are your cycles always long?  I'd just like to get back to tryng again.  I feel kinda helpless.



Well, they're always crazy and irregular, but that was long even for me. I'd say usually they're about 55 days. If I am in tip top shape, and eating perfect, they go down to about 35 to 40 days. (Right now I am about 25 lbs over what I should weigh, although technically docs say I am not overweight, I know that would be healthier for me and would be the weight I was at when I got pregnant with DS) But 3 or 4 times in my life they have been about 3 months longer or more, and when that happened before I took provera to induce my period. It makes me super mean though, so I didn't do that this time. I went to acupuncture and that helped me ovulate after just one time! So, that was good. But my periods can be anywhere from 29 or 30 days long to, well, 110 days. Charting helps some, because then I feel like at least I know if I have O'ed yet or not. But it is horrible ttc with these cycles. Smiles, one doctor told me that if you go more than 3 months that is unhealthy and you should try to get help. But before that, it really can't hurt you, so most docs won't really do anything until that much time has passed. And I have found that to be true, based on my experience with numerous ob.gyns during my lifetime since starting menses. Ugh. I hate not having as many "chances" as the average person, because I only typically have about 8 periods per year. I have not been brave enough to try Clomid yet, but that is my next step if acupuncture doesn't work this cycle.

 

Anyway, I really, really hope AF shows for you soon so you can move on to the next cycle. Hang in there! You are not alone! I have definitely been there. ALOT.

 

post #336 of 421

I just realized that there were time I wrote here..... a lot. It was like therapy, especially when I was sad or bitter. One day I think I will print out all my terrible messages and make a little book for myself... ha ha. It seems I have healed a lot during this time, as I don't feel the pain every day any more. It comes and goes, and the idea of remaining a family of three no longer sends knives in my heart. I know we will be ok... and that there may be things in our future I never would have imagined. The very strange is my intuition that does not change even when the situation changes. It does not "feel" like we will ever have another child, at least a biological child. I thought this feeling might go away when I got healthier after all the symptoms from hypothyroidism. Now, if there is something wring with dh's SA, it could mean hope or a "not going to happen." But, I just don't feel it will ever happen. It is rather strange, to thwe point that I wonder if anyone has ever been through that. (I don't know anyone...) Other seem to see more children as a natural thing, like of course they will happen, and for most they do. I am just stuck with this "inner knowledge." Often I truly hope I am wrong... Never have been so far, with the "I just knows." '

 

The interesting thing is... You know how many women say "I hope for more kids and I want to do better than I did the first time." You know, when they were first time moms, they maybe listen to family too much and did not yet trust their intuition, maybe were not yet confident, maybe did not know much about birth and did not realize it would be good to find out... I have no regrets... I had a great, natural birth, dd was with me from the first moment and waws never taken without me following... she was nursed on demand, carried, always responded to right away, etc. I have regrets every day now that she is older, I am sure. Yet, the baby time, I have zero regrets. I remember thinking very early on that it was interesting that even if I never got to do any of that again, I would have "done it." I don't know if anyone can get what I mean... It is just something that has from the beginning gone with this weird intuition... this strong feeling of now or never.

 

SA in about a week, so we should have those answers in about 3 weeks. I have surprisingly little emotion about that right now. First I was so hoping this would be "it." Now I am thinking it would be so much more "merciful" to dh is it is not him, or at least not him alone. (Nothing "merciful" in infertility... I realize couples don't get to choose.....!)

 

There is something all this pain has done for me: I used to kneel in front of God, unable to truly just want to receive whatever was in the plan. I sobbed, I wanted to scream, and asked for that baby. Now I am quiet, with few words left. I wait, sometimes even with hope and excitement, for whatever is to come. I no longer have a plan and just hope we will not need to wait for years and years to see the way for our family. I have seen so many miracles in my life. If a stranger can call me about a job (out of the blue) in the field I had just thought I might like to try, not knowing for sure if I should (happened years ago and lead to that field), then I suppose someone can call me about a child as well. I know the thought that comes is "Good luck, very unlikely that you will have another child if that's the method you want to use." After all, there are tons of people out there who try so hard, without able to find a child to adopt. Yet, that is how my life has worked. I need some sort of inner knowledge before deciding to start the process (yeah, and money). I know dh is not ready but if "the child" came along, he could be ready very fast. (It is difficult to love a hypothetical child, easy to fall in love with a human being.)

 

Having accidently not TTC this cycle has been surprisingly wonderful. I never thought I would say such a thing. :)

 

By the way, I wonder if anyone else has ever experience this. (I suppose this is not the right place to ask, as most here are not going to adopt, at least not yet.) I have mentioned the little boy I found on a special needs listing. I keep checking, hoping he has been adopted. No luck so far. When I look at him, I just keep thinking "that is my son." It is absolutely crazy!!! He looks nothing like my family. He has these amazing brown eyes and curly dark hair. I am about as blond as a person can be and dh is of Scnadinavian/German descent. Makes no sense. Yet, that is what I feel. Could I please win the lottery and find a way around the moral issues.... ha. Dd keeps saying "I want him" in such a sweet way. I guess it is a lesson to us both, as I try to tell her, that some people we need to love from afar and pray for them without ever holding them.


Edited by LessTraveledBy - 3/24/11 at 2:21am
post #337 of 421
Quote:

Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

 I personally behave as normal while in my fertile period (if there's a party, I PARTY). With my DD, my husband and I weren't TTC, and I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 7 weeks (let's just say I had ZERO clue about my cycles, fertility, ovulation, etc.) -- and those 7 weeks included the entire holiday season in all its celebratory glory (also at the risk of sounding like an alco, I cringe when I think that I was pregnant that New Years Eve...)


I'm the same...  when I found out we were expecting DS it was a week after I finished my degree - which I celebrated with a bottle and a half of champagne.........  lol

He's a gorgeous, healthy, gifted little man now....  maybe I need to drink more.......

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk8shake View Post

Hahah, that's hilarious.  I sometime have to think pretty hard about the colloquialisms I use on MDC.  Sometimes I feel like the only Aussie here, although I know of at least one other.

 

 

You're not talking about me, are you? orngtongue.gif  Or is there someone else???   bigeyes.gif  hehe

 

post #338 of 421

Yeah, 3 months does seem to be the standard.  I've read a few posts about provera and how it makes people feel and I think that if I miss my third period and see the doc that I just want him to run some tests to see if something is wrong (I am afraid of menopause, I'm only 36 but my mom was 42 when she became menopausal) I'm sure that's not it (I hope that's not it) but if everything checks out I think that I want to wait af out no matter how long it takes rather than take something to induce it.  The funny thing is that the longer this goes on the less frustrated I am by it, at first I was obsessed and upset and now I feel like it is just a cruel joke.  If super long cycles become the norm for me then I think I will check out accupuncture, I keep reading good things about it.

 

Good to know that I am not alone, not that I would wish long cycles on anyone!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post





Well, they're always crazy and irregular, but that was long even for me. I'd say usually they're about 55 days. If I am in tip top shape, and eating perfect, they go down to about 35 to 40 days. (Right now I am about 25 lbs over what I should weigh, although technically docs say I am not overweight, I know that would be healthier for me and would be the weight I was at when I got pregnant with DS) But 3 or 4 times in my life they have been about 3 months longer or more, and when that happened before I took provera to induce my period. It makes me super mean though, so I didn't do that this time. I went to acupuncture and that helped me ovulate after just one time! So, that was good. But my periods can be anywhere from 29 or 30 days long to, well, 110 days. Charting helps some, because then I feel like at least I know if I have O'ed yet or not. But it is horrible ttc with these cycles. Smiles, one doctor told me that if you go more than 3 months that is unhealthy and you should try to get help. But before that, it really can't hurt you, so most docs won't really do anything until that much time has passed. And I have found that to be true, based on my experience with numerous ob.gyns during my lifetime since starting menses. Ugh. I hate not having as many "chances" as the average person, because I only typically have about 8 periods per year. I have not been brave enough to try Clomid yet, but that is my next step if acupuncture doesn't work this cycle.

 

Anyway, I really, really hope AF shows for you soon so you can move on to the next cycle. Hang in there! You are not alone! I have definitely been there. ALOT.

 


LTB - It is really sad that you and your dd have found a child that you feel is yours and he can't be yours, he probably needs your love so much and it is unfair that it can't happen.  Makes me sad.
 

 

post #339 of 421
Ugh. My husband's doctor told us our insurance would cover semen analysis, and we found out yesterday that she was wrong. Turns out they would cover it, but they don't cover any labs that offer the service. So they claim they cover it, neglecting to mention that they don't cover any clinics that offer it, and therefore might as well NOT cover it. They did the same with urgent care. "We cover urgent care! We just don't cover any urgent care clinics, and thus effectively DON'T cover urgent care, but we're not going to tell you that over the phone unless you ask specifically which of our clinics offer urgent care!"

So I'm annoyed and have to budget in "between 100 and 200 dollars" to pay for this, and since we weren't expecting this and just spent a whole bunch of money on over the counter medicines (because we had no urgent care for when he and I got bronchitis) and a local weekend long convention I wanted to go to to get out and do something fun for once (and it was a blast, and I don't regret it, but it did mess with our budget a bit), so this might take a little while. Probably means we won't make it out to Texas at the end of April like we'd been planning.
post #340 of 421

AGreenMum - I pm'ed you, didn't want to bore our TTC friends here with all the veggie and compost talk treehugger.gif

 

Musicoholic - Funny about your Champagne and your bright son. Even after that New Year's pregnancy fiasco, my daughter is sharp as a tack, and I say "there you go!" to my husband, who was so paranoid during my pregnancy that he wouldn't let me have even a taste of the wine from his glass at a fancy meal. And then he says "yeah she's sharp, but guess how smart she WOULD have been had you not been three sheets to the wind that New Years..." 

 

LTB - Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful piece. I recognize what you write about - I recognize it in myself. I also don't regret any of my decisions with dd -- I had a blissful, all natural birth (I was told, "you'd take pain reliever at the dentist, wouldn't you?"), and followed my every instinct with her baby time, always responding to her signals, keeping her so close and rocking her to sleep (I was told I "wasn't allowing her to learn to sooth herself, be independent"), allowing her to wean herself ("you're still breastfeeding at 18 months?!"). She is now a happy and independent 2.5 year old with no separation anxiety whatsoever (I almost wish she would miss me just a tiny bit when she sleeps over at her cousin's or grandma's house!). I wouldn't change a thing. But here's what I WOULD change: I wish, however impossible, that I had had some inkling that this was perhaps going to be my only chance to do all of that. I really did stop and enjoy my time with that baby, but if I had known that that was possibly it for me, I think I would have been much, much more careful to enjoy those night time feedings instead of sighing and just getting through them. I enjoyed being pregnant, but because it was an "oops" pregnancy, I was so unconcious about the miraculous nature of my state and mostly just trying to get used to the idea of motherhood being sprung on me. I was one of those take-it-for-granted oops moms that can be so irritating to me now. I think if I were to get to do it all again, I would inhale every moment in another way. Of course, the stress would be much more dramatic I think (worry for a mc after finally getting pregnant).

I wonder about your inner voice or sense of premonition. I hope that you're wrong too, about your sense that there won't be more biological children. I can tell you that I am in absolute awe at my step-mother's sense of intuition. She's not spiritual, but is so in touch with whatever clues come to her, from inside or out. She has called it perfectly (in her quiet, humble way) on the most amazing things in her life, mine and others near and dear. One time she was way wrong, however, was with her third and last child. She was absolutely SURE, no discussion, that it was a girl. He's very much a little boy though.  So, while I'm fascinated and impressed by some of my friends intuition (I have absolutely ZILCH; wrong every time), there is lots of room for error. 

I'm so sorry that you and the beautiful little brown-eyed boy are not finding your way to each other. What a heartbreaking story.

 

 

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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Trying To Conceive › *** Bitter Sushi Ladies, March 2011 Thread ***