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*** Bitter Sushi Ladies, March 2011 Thread *** - Page 18

post #341 of 421


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

I wonder about your inner voice or sense of premonition. I hope that you're wrong too, about your sense that there won't be more biological children. I can tell you that I am in absolute awe at my step-mother's sense of intuition. She's not spiritual, but is so in touch with whatever clues come to her, from inside or out. She has called it perfectly (in her quiet, humble way) on the most amazing things in her life, mine and others near and dear. One time she was way wrong, however, was with her third and last child. She was absolutely SURE, no discussion, that it was a girl. He's very much a little boy though.  So, while I'm fascinated and impressed by some of my friends intuition (I have absolutely ZILCH; wrong every time), there is lots of room for error. 

I'm so sorry that you and the beautiful little brown-eyed boy are not finding your way to each other. What a heartbreaking story.


This whole intuition thing is interesting...Let me ramble about this a bit... (You have been warned, please feel free to skip the whole thing.)  I don't normally try to guess or anything like that. It is just that there have been certain times in my life that the knowledge of something has come. All of a sudden, I just know. One of these was when I went to my entrance test for the university. I had studies for a different university and did not take this test so seriously, so, realistically, there was no way I was going to be among the lucky 20. While I was standing at the bus stop before the second day of testing, I heard people speaking about what they would do if they did not get in. All of a sudden I thought "But I will get in." From that moment on I knew it, no matter how little sense it made. I have had similar things happen with other decisions that would change the course of my life, among them when I knew I would marry dh. I have learned to trust these intuitions so completely that they are very exciting to me. They are gentle, sure, and comforting, as if the curtain separating heaven and earth were drawn, just a bit.

 

The intuition about the infertility came to me one night as I was crying about it, maybe 3 years ago. At that point we had not been trying for a 2nd child for very long (though I was sick), so the thought did not make sense the way it does now. I remember it made me so very sad, mainly thinking how alone in the world our dd could be. (Dh's family is abroad and I have only one sibling who has no children.) I think this particular intuition I am not quite as sure about, as all the other things have been mainly positive ones, though each required a strong leap on faith. This one has kept me wondering if the feeling was somehow mixed with the worst possible thing... that maybe I was trying to protect myself by preparing for never having another biological child. Yet, sitting here, the calm, sure feeling is here. As I am finally starting to see that there is life after infertility, I am starting to trust this intuition more, and it is starting to look more like all the past ones: Something that is very scary and exciting and requires that leap... and can end up being among the things changing the course of my life. It makes perfect sense to me... And if it is like all the others, I will look back one day and see how beautifully and perfectly it fit with the rest of the plan, and would not change a thing. (Sorry it this is a trigger to anyone... It has been a long road for me and I don't think that I would be feeling the way I do if we did not have dd.)

 

Now, I have mentioned these to dh. I think they freak him out quite a bit and he is certainly not ready to listen to this one. I think he feels I am just willing it, in some twisted way. I cannot help feeling that everyone is lead this way, some simply have a harder time trusting the intuitions and thus the feelings may get lost in daily life. Maybe I am totally wrong. It is just how it has always been for me, at least since I was 14 or so. Who knows. I think my mom is very intuitive, dad most likely much less (as he would think it is nonsense). Mom's sister has dreams predicting things. I have never been able to know anything about others, it has simply been something to show me when big decisions have, so it feels, already been made for me.

 

Thank you for your kind words. My husband, alone, is understanding of my love for a child I have never met. (And dd, but being 6 and very nurturing, she loves all babies and children.) Everyone else seems to think I should just stay off those sort of websites. They just don't get it... I have seen the photos of hundreds of orphans, and it is only this one baby boy that has stolen my heart in such a way. The whole orphan crisis is sad... there is little more than can be said. Millions of orphans and huge lines of people wanting to give them homes.. and yet, it is so difficult, often impossible.

 


Edited by LessTraveledBy - 3/24/11 at 1:38pm
post #342 of 421

Not sure who first started talking about the 3 month thing with inducing AF, but I have to throw in my 2 cents: I've gone more than 3 months without a period many times, and so far I'm not dead. Not that I think that's what doctors are worried about (I believe it's endometrial cancer, IIRC), but I can't say it's had any particularly negative effect on me. I also haven't had too much problem with Provera. I've taken it twice, and while it might make me a little more emotional than usual, I definitely haven't noticed a major change. Prometrium, as I've mentioned, does give me awful, scary dizziness, but according to my RE's office, most people actually do *better* on Prometrium. shrug.gif My body hasn't seemed any more encouraged to ovulate on its own after a Provera/Prometrium cycle, either.

 

objet - Not sure if this applies to your situation, but you might want to look into "gap exceptions" with your insurance. (I think that's what it was called.) I learned a little about this when I went to a birth center for my well-woman exam. Basically, if your insurance says they cover something, but don't cover any providers who give that service within a reasonable distance of your home, they have to pay for you to see an out-of-network provider. It didn't work for me, because I could have chosen to have an exam with an in-network CNM, but it would have worked if I had been birthing at the center, since there isn't another birthing center anywhere near there. Just a thought.

post #343 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

 

objet - Not sure if this applies to your situation, but you might want to look into "gap exceptions" with your insurance. (I think that's what it was called.) I learned a little about this when I went to a birth center for my well-woman exam. Basically, if your insurance says they cover something, but don't cover any providers who give that service within a reasonable distance of your home, they have to pay for you to see an out-of-network provider. It didn't work for me, because I could have chosen to have an exam with an in-network CNM, but it would have worked if I had been birthing at the center, since there isn't another birthing center anywhere near there. Just a thought.


This is true with my insurance, too.  Definitely check into it--it's worth the hassle of finding out if you can get SA's covered or even if you only need one urgent care visit a year.

 

We found out we will have to do IVF if we want a baby.  So, even though we thought there was a good chance of having to do IVF, knowing for sure is just awful.  No happy people in our house.  So I've called the RE to request an info packet.  Perhaps they will call me back at some point . . . 

 

post #344 of 421

hug.gifKinza. It's tough when you suspect things aren't going to work out how you want, but there's always that hope you'll be wrong. It sucks to have that hope crushed. :( I hope your RE gets back to you soon. (Is not getting back to you quickly something they teach in RE school? Mine also kind of sucks about that.)

post #345 of 421
Kinza- sorry. Moving on to ivf is tough. Just think of the 30% chance though (or whatever the success rate is) - not bad odds, right?
post #346 of 421

"There is life after infertility."

 

That is SUCH a hard concept to grasp!

post #347 of 421

Kinza, I am so sorry you received bad news!! Wishing you lots of support and a safe place to cry... and then lots of hope.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kparker View Post

"There is life after infertility."

 

That is SUCH a hard concept to grasp!


Yes, it sure is...I have been at this for 3 years and it is only now, for the first time, that I am starting to be excited about our future, even if it does not include any more biological children. It is not many months ago that I was totally hopeless, at least emotionally. (And we do have a child, so it is so much easier in some ways, though also poses different difficulties. It is very hard to think of her so alone in the world, and to see her sorrow about not having siblings. Not all kids care, she sure does.) Now, if someone told me there would be no adopted children, either, that would start another crisis for me. I don't even want to think of that. There would be life after that, also, but I am certainly not there, yet.

 

To be honest, something that has made it possible for me to heal has been to stop seeing myself as a mother above all else. I used to be the one to start a playgroup, to want to support other moms, to try to help kids who were crying and ignored, to smile at every child in a store, etc. I still try to help a child who is sad but otherwise I have given myself the permit to ignore things more. I don't have to live mothering 100% of the time for anyone other than my own child. I also keep my distance from friends with little ones when I feel like it. Being more in control of when I am in those difficult situations has made me less bitter, lately. I no longer accept it as my responsibility to go at a moment's notice to help with other people's kids. I have had to tell myself that I am not the only person in the world able to help others. If for someone I truly am the only one, then it is not fair not to hire help. My emotions and struggles are equally worthy of time and space. THERE! I am learning, and I hope one day I can go back to helping and being a mother figure for many, with joy, not hurt. I am just not there, at the moment, and it is not fair to demand it.

 

It is actually interesting... A friend had a stillborn baby. No one would ever even imagine asking her to come help with someone else's baby. Yet, the infertile people are fair game for that, at least I seem to be, as I do have an older child. How is that ok?????? These are not people unaware of my struggles, either, which would be different. They know it is sometimes very hard for me to see their babies, and yet they ask.

 

MIL still really wants us all to get together this summer, including (especially) dd's two cousins, one 1,5, the other at the moment a newborn. I can understand her: She wants her grandkids to finally meet each other and to have some days to play happy family. I doooooon't want to go and it makes me feel panicky to think of being stuck in that situation for a week or so. I have met SIL once and we have extremely little in common, although I think she is a very nice person. Also, I don't want to need to deal with dd's emotions on top on my own in that situation, on top of my own I feel like I would have little to give, although he feelings would come first. Dd already has a hard time trying to wrap her head around the idea of her 1,5 yo cousin who is already a big brother. I will be super pissed with MIL is she does not understand that dd has emotions about all this that are very real. Yet, I don't want to tell her, either. She is not, I think, trustworthy in that way. She can be great, but not always sensitive. (Well, isn't that all of us. She has never been through infertility, the opposite, actually, more kids than planned.)

 

Thinking of all this shows me how very fragile my peace is. At the moment it still depends on having my distance from certain people. I have not thought of any of this for some weeks. Now that I started to, again, I can feel the old bitterness raising its ugly head. However, I think it is caused to a large extent by the feeling that my emotions don't matter, that both some friends and relatives want to ignore them in their quest of getting what they want. I also get sad when I think of the past, the should haves. When I look into the future, instead, I am much more able to deal. So fragile... will be for a long time, yet, I think, no matter how much I move on.

 

I have come to realize that my parents would never have considered adoption. Mom had miscarriages and then lots of trouble carrying me to term. If things had not worked out, they would have just raised my big sister and that is it. There are LOTS of foster kids in my extended family and, frankly, that may have been partly what made my mom feel she would never want to do that. (Lots of very sad stories... Many of these kids have not exactly become healthy, happy adults.) So... It is her own journey and feelings that now seem to make it impossible for her to understand that adoption is not 2nd best to me and that we would not be raising someone else's child. The child would indeed become OUR child as much as dd. It hurts me not to feel support in this... to feel like out hopes to adopt are considered foolish, non-realistic, irresponsible, whatever else. Like we are just supposed to deal and, what... I don't know... Move on? I am 34 and all I have ever hoped for is to live life with our children. I cannot fathom the idea of dd moving out in a bit more than 10 years... I will be only 46 or so, then... I always thought it would be my "career" to raise out children. Careers just don't end at 46 unless the person is very sick or something. Change of plans, I guess. Hope not... There are so many children out there needing exactly what we could give them. (I would imagine that having a SAHM is a very good thing for most adopted children...)

 

This is one of those days I wish I could see 20 years ahead, so I would know what happened. :)

 


Edited by LessTraveledBy - 3/25/11 at 1:07am
post #348 of 421
Aaaaaaand now my cousin is also pregnant. Now I'm pretty bitter.

I'm also thinking my husband's insurance may not do gap coverage, and he may not be entirely on the exact same program as I am....I don't know. I am wondering though, what kinds of options could we be faced with if he does have something wrong, bad semen analysis results? I'm having a surprisingly hard time getting that kind of info, anyone here want to share with me what kind of stuff could we be facing?
post #349 of 421

So, on my 37th birthday yesterday, I have been more seriously thinking of adoption. We don't have $20,000 or $30,000 laying around, so an agency is out of the question. I have read that independent adoption from Uganda, while a slow and difficult process, is possible for less than $10,000. DH used to live in West Africa, so he is familiar with travel in Africa, and that may help us keep costs down. It may be actually something we could afford, if we skimp and save a lot, and since the money is not all needed at once. 

 

LTB - I saw some posts of yours in the adoption forum. Did you ever find any good web sites about the independent adoption process - all I have found are blogs that tell somebody's story but don't exactly give you much direction. I have a lot of questions (how to go about getting a homestudy, if I need a  lawyer in America as well as Uganda...). I know this is more of an adoption post, but, ya know, it is totally related to my infertility.

 

AF is coming on, my job sucks, and I am old. What a sucky day.

post #350 of 421


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by objet_trouve View Post

Aaaaaaand now my cousin is also pregnant. Now I'm pretty bitter.

I'm also thinking my husband's insurance may not do gap coverage, and he may not be entirely on the exact same program as I am....I don't know. I am wondering though, what kinds of options could we be faced with if he does have something wrong, bad semen analysis results? I'm having a surprisingly hard time getting that kind of info, anyone here want to share with me what kind of stuff could we be facing?

I am sorry! As much as someone having a child is a wonderful, beautiful thing, it sure can be hard to take. 

 

I know VERY little about the dh stuff but one thing that could cause issues and is quite common is a varicocele. That would mean a small surgery for the dh. Otherwise, there are some things that they don't try to or cannot do anything about, as far as I understand, and will recommend IVF or something like that. Some people have also got help from vitamins and such. However, others here know so much more than I do, so I am sure you will get responses.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post

So, on my 37th birthday yesterday, I have been more seriously thinking of adoption. We don't have $20,000 or $30,000 laying around, so an agency is out of the question. I have read that independent adoption from Uganda, while a slow and difficult process, is possible for less than $10,000. DH used to live in West Africa, so he is familiar with travel in Africa, and that may help us keep costs down. It may be actually something we could afford, if we skimp and save a lot, and since the money is not all needed at once. 

 

LTB - I saw some posts of yours in the adoption forum. Did you ever find any good web sites about the independent adoption process - all I have found are blogs that tell somebody's story but don't exactly give you much direction. I have a lot of questions (how to go about getting a homestudy, if I need a  lawyer in America as well as Uganda...). I know this is more of an adoption post, but, ya know, it is totally related to my infertility.

 

AF is coming on, my job sucks, and I am old. What a sucky day.


Happy birthday! I just turned 34 a couple of weeks ago and I know that it does not feel like something to celebrate about. You know... another digit to add to the feeling that time is running out. :(

 

Independent adoption in Uganda is new enough, as far as I could tell, that there were only a couple of blogs that talk about the specifics. I mean there are no official websites or anything like that. There is a lot that appealed to me... Mainly, at some point you could still volunteer in an orphanage and you would choose the child while there. It sounded like a better way to me. However, Uganda has been getting more popular (and probably even more so now that Ethiopia is making the process more difficult) and already I had been reading that some of the baby homes had said they had no young children needing homes. What the truth is, I don't know. After my initial excitement (the same as yours: Maybe we could actually afford this), I came to the conclusion that I so wish those children could stay in their own country. It is one thing to adopt a beautiful, dark skinned baby, to raise the baby in North America, esp. if you live in a diverse enough area. However, we are in Scandinavia and don't know where we will end up. The idea of raising a child that looks so different here makes me doubt myself. Esp. as we are different from the majority in just about every possible way: different religion, homeschoolers, etc. I just don't know that it is fair...

 

The whole process of reading left me unsure of what I think of international adoption in the case of children, who are not in need of medical help which they cannot get in their own country. An old friend of mine lives in Africa and felt strongly that the children should not be taken out of the country unless it was a true "must" situation. (However, her country does not have the amount of orphans Uganda and some other countries have.) Sooo... the question to me is, is it better to live in a good orphanage in your own culture (assuming such exists) or in a family in another culture. Many people are quick to say that having a mom and dad is what matters. My friend in Africa disagreed with this. There are now some international adoptees in Sweden (just happen to know of that one, probably in other places, too) who are leading a movement against int'l adoption. Now, are they able to think realistically about where they would be, had they not been adopted? I don't know. Some may be mad about having lost their original culture, without facing the fact that they would most likely rather have a free university degree and live in Sweden, rather than being a prostitute or even dead in the first country. Ok, exaggerating, but you get the point. Yet, this whole movement just goes to show how difficult these issues are. I wish I had the answers... and enough money. I feel like if we (and I mean wour family, not anyone else, as our situation is rather unique), went to Uganda to adopt, it would be selfish on my part. Maybe I will learn something new and change my mind, but this is where I am right now.

 

At this point we are very open to int'l adoption, but I think we would prefer either a baby from the USA (as dh is American, the child would not lose that part of culture, but instead, grow up with two cultures and languages and have both US and EU citizenships) or a special needs child from another country. After lots of thinking, I know if the child 20 years from now asks me why we chose to take the child away from the first country (if not the US), I need to be able to have an honest answer and say that there was no future there. Such as, you would not have been able to walk, survived, whatever, without the medical help. But, in the end I am just waiting for "the child," in whatever way he or she comes into our lives.

 

RCR, forgot to add that I think many adoption organizations will do your home study for you, even if you don't adopt through them. I even found two that would come here to do one for us. As far as I understand, with Uganda there are basically two separate part of the process, so yes, you would need a lawyer in both countries. (As far as I still remember).


Edited by LessTraveledBy - 3/25/11 at 9:14am
post #351 of 421

Wanted to chime in about adoption. It doesn't have to be expensive, look into adopting from Foster Care. It is practically free, and sometimes will even include subsidies for the children.

 

This is what I plan to do when I'm 45, whether I succeed in getting pregnant or not. Having adoption to look forward to has really lowered my stress about the whole fertility thing.

post #352 of 421

She's in Europe and there is not an significant number of kids in foster care.  Also, as a religious minority, she would have additional issues. 

 

Stevi, I hope you get pregnant soon. 

post #353 of 421

Jane...   Thanks, I didn't realize that rcr was in Europe, or for that matter that there were so few kids in Foster Care there. And thank you for the hope too! :)

 

BTW, I'm an Atheist, so I am also restricted from adopting from numerous countries, and even many U.S. organizations.

post #354 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by musicoholic View Post

 

You're not talking about me, are you? orngtongue.gif  Or is there someone else???   bigeyes.gif  hehe

Yes! I've missed you.  You haven't been around much.  OT, but did you see the pics of my tatt? Your pictures were a big help in my decision making!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaya View Post

Musicoholic - Funny about your Champagne and your bright son. Even after that New Year's pregnancy fiasco, my daughter is sharp as a tack, and I say "there you go!" to my husband, who was so paranoid during my pregnancy that he wouldn't let me have even a taste of the wine from his glass at a fancy meal. And then he says "yeah she's sharp, but guess how smart she WOULD have been had you not been three sheets to the wind that New Years..."

Thanks ladies! With the partying I have planned, if I get pregnant, I should end up with a genius by all accounts!

 

I think I'm just gonna let loose, and if it happens, it happens.  For heaven's sake there are plenty of women around who do way worse than have a cocktail or three, and still get a take home baby, right?
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post

We found out we will have to do IVF if we want a baby.  So, even though we thought there was a good chance of having to do IVF, knowing for sure is just awful.  No happy people in our house.  So I've called the RE to request an info packet.  Perhaps they will call me back at some point . . . 

Sorry to hear it Kinza.  It kind of reminds me of my last two losses.  Although I was about 99.9% sure that the ultrasound news would be back, it was still a kick in the guts when they said the words.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by objet_trouve View Post

Aaaaaaand now my cousin is also pregnant. Now I'm pretty bitter.
 

Crap.  Sorry to hear it. 

I found out that at my friend's wedding next week they are going to have a dedication type part about their 3 month old daughter (who I LOVE).  But damn, I hope I can hold it together during the ceremony.  DP is a groomsman, so he won't even be around to hold my hand. 
 

In other news, I am finalising the copy of the SANDS newsletter (I am the editor).  It's actually a massive bumper edition this month - 3 or 4 times as big as a the usual one.  It's a bit draining.

Also, because there is a special edition on Stillbirth being produced by the Lancet medical journal, we are expecting a lot of publicity.  I'm kind of stressed about my newsletter being given out to a wider audience, you know?

 

But, I'm off to the Hen's do tonight, and apparently the restaurant has AMAZING cocktails - so look out!!

post #355 of 421

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milk8shake View Post

Yes! I've missed you.  You haven't been around much.  OT, but did you see the pics of my tatt? Your pictures were a big help in my decision making!
 

Thanks ladies! With the partying I have planned, if I get pregnant, I should end up with a genius by all accounts!

 

I think I'm just gonna let loose, and if it happens, it happens.  For heaven's sake there are plenty of women around who do way worse than have a cocktail or three, and still get a take home baby, right?


hehe  I just had to take some time out for me...  for a change.  Was kind of weird actually, actually paying attention to myself....  lol

No, I didn't see your tatt!!  I'll have to go stalking and find it.  Glad I could help!!!   luxlove.gif

 

ETA:  I found it!!!  Gorgeous!!  I love it!!!  I wish I had the b***s to get one...  I'm such a wuss.  Maybe one day....  and when I do, I'll get it for free (yay!!) - because a good mate of DH is a brilliant tattooist and has been nagging me for years to get one....  lol  Also means I'll need to go back to QLD for it!!  lol

 

And I agree with the letting loose...  I have a few bottles of wine left from my Christmas trip the the Barossa (can't wait to go back!!!) - and another half a case of Pink Moscato I won from Four Sister Winery (sweet, but yummo!).  I had a glass of my vintage Wolf Blass black label last night...  thinking I might have to finish the bottle tonight with some brie  .... (it's only a half-bottle .....  lol).

 

I hope all the BSLs are doing well (as well as can be expected...  you all know what I mean   )...  just because I don't post very often anymore doesn't mean I'm not thinking of and praying for you all the time (hence the thread stalking......  lol)   grouphug.gif

 


Edited by musicoholic - 3/27/11 at 10:20am
post #356 of 421

Kinza - I'm so sorry you got bad news! I am still wishing you the very best in your IVF process though! Maybe this is just the way that it is going to happen for you. Please do keep us posted!

 

Monkey - thanks for saying you have had many times in your life where you've gone beyond the 3 months with no period. I know the doc who warned me about it said it was because of the risk of uterine cancer. ??? Who knows. i do know that my mom had the same type of issues I have had with crazy long cycles, and she once went 2 years without a period, in her 20's no less. Then it came back one day. She already had my sister and I, and thought she was just done so she wasn't too worried. Then a few years later she still had another baby. You would think that would give me hope, but it makes me sad since she was 31 when she had her last child, and I am now 35. I realize I am not my mother, but still...

 

objet - I hope you find out that the insurance is somehow going to work out. And that whatever is wrong with DH (if there is something) is totally fixable. A dear friend of mine has a husband who had very low sperm count, and they were able to have twins with IUI. So there is definitely hope if it is something like that. I don't really know too much about SA's though..sorry..I hope someone else will chime in. Also, I know for a while there I felt like it was just a slap in the face anytime someone I knew got pregnant. And it's been a steady stream the last few years. But I kind of have worked my way back to being able to be happy, although I still do get down about it for myself..I can at least be happy for others now. It's definitely a process. A long, hard process. And some days are better than others.

 

rcr - Happy Birthday and sorry it's your birthday, all at once. I hate having birthdays now, since they are just a reminder that I am now in the mid to late thirties range, and I feel so helpless ttc. I wish I could give you a big old hug right now, and commiserate! I can completely understand why you are thinking more of adoption, and I hope that one way or another, you do get a baby.

 

LTB - I have also had intuition my whole life, but I have dreams about the future mostly. Sometimes I do have intuition about people or things going on in my day to day life though, and a few years back, the thought came to me that I would only have one child and it would be a boy. Well, I do have one child and he is all boy! But that hasn't stopped me from trying. There certainly have been times my intuition has been wrong. So, maybe it was right, maybe it wasn't, but I believe in hoping for things unseen, rather than believing that thought I had. I think sometimes my intuition manifests itself out of fear, and I hope that maybe that is what happened for both of us regarding our intuition about our fertility. It is very scary though, but I have hope. For what it's worth, I also had another intuitive tell me I would get pregnant in 2011. So I like to believe in her version, LOL. We shall see though! I definitely don't want to believe in that intuition until it becomes reality, by holding myself back somehow, if that makes sense. So I'm going to keep on trying and hoping and praying! .....About international adoption, I agree with so much of what you wrote. I have serious reservations about it too. I wish for those children to be adopted within their own country and culture, when it is possible. I know sometimes it isn't. But I don't know if DH and I would ever consider international adoption. Another reason why I sure hope we have more bio kids, because I don't think we could afford a domestic adoption, unless it's down the road sometime, and then we would probably be too old. BTW, what is the age limit on U.S. adoptions? Anyone?

 

 

Milk8shake - Sounds like a wonderful hen party you're going to! ENJOY!!!!! Also, I had something so funny happen today. I had to go to the doctor and the nurse was a Brit. Well, she asked me if I was an AUSSIE!!!!  As I said before, I'm a southerner, definitely not an Aussie! But I thought that was so funny given our conversation about how certain phrases in the U.S. South and Australia are the same, or similar! I have never been asked that before though, but she said she would have sworn it. All I can think of is that maybe it's the rhythm of how I speak, because it's certainly not the same accent!

 

AFM, like I said, I had to go to the doc today. I am having terrible, terrible allergies and allergy related asthma. I have not had asthma since I was about 10 yrs old until a week ago. Now I am suffering to no end. And I hate it. I have an appt. scheduled with an allergist for the 5th, but this is yet another thing that makes me feel like I am just a sickly person and can't ever carry a child again. I'm going to google asthma and pregnancy here in a minute. I just am so worried now that I shouldn't even be trying until we can move out of this awful town and I can get myself healthy again. (Where we live, the wind blows ALL THE TIME and there are hardly any trees to block it.) But I don't have the luxury of time!!!!!!  UGH. I really need a pep talk or a hug. : (

Maybe I'm being oversensitive, thinking everything is an obstacle to having a baby. But it just feels that way, all the time lately.

 

Seems like alot of us are having a hard day, or last few days. Hugs, everybody. I hope we get some good news soon.

 

 

 

 

 

post #357 of 421

Ha ha! I am not a native speaker, although I did start to spend summer in the States before the teenage years. I definitely have an accent, more on some days, less on some. (It is weird!) I have been asked if I was Canadian. I guess they speak just a little bit strangely, according to some. ;)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post

Milk8shake - Sounds like a wonderful hen party you're going to! ENJOY!!!!! Also, I had something so funny happen today. I had to go to the doctor and the nurse was a Brit. Well, she asked me if I was an AUSSIE!!!!  As I said before, I'm a southerner, definitely not an Aussie! But I thought that was so funny given our conversation about how certain phrases in the U.S. South and Australia are the same, or similar! I have never been asked that before though, but she said she would have sworn it. All I can think of is that maybe it's the rhythm of how I speak, because it's certainly not the same accent!

 

SA on Friday. That includes me taking the train to the city with the sample taped to my bra for warmth. Hah! To be honest, though, all this is just something that has to be done, just to get it over with. I feel total peace and certainty that there will be no more biological babies. Yes, I would feel like an idiot if I got pregnant after claiming that, but this intuition is so strong, I can type it here. The wonderful thing is that I do think my husband will be ready, and excited, to adopt if we get the chance. He is a wonderfully unusual person, in that he is maybe a bit less "out there" compare to me, but always comes along for the ride in the end. (Stuff like living in a shed for months, nutrition, small living in general, anything having to do with gentle discipline, etc.) Love that man!!

 

I think I am back to square one in researching adoption. It is a bit funny, or maybe pathetic, that I research as if we had any money for this... Yet, I believe in miracles (and maybe in relatives giving us a loan, although that one is not looking very promising, as my parents are waaayyy too good to us already and probably find the adoption idea foolish or something and dh's parents, well, they could come through, but I am not too hopeful, really.) The thing is that my world view makes this more complicated -I think- than it is for some. I feel like there must be a child out there meant for us, and somehow I need to do my part to find him or her. I have a hard time trusting the process where some administrative person somewhere looks at the file of the child and our file and decides to put us together. I would like the initial decision to be made by the people who know the child (in the orphanage, that is), or by us (a special needs listing or something). So... I guess I am off to research what countries do it that way... and don't cost a ton... and don't make us wait for 5 years. Which is like none. There is a particular country for which we would be "just right" but dh for some reason is not comfortable with that place. Then there is Russia, which is close geographically, but I am too familiar with it to trust the process there and, while we are open to lots of special needs, FAS is not something I feel able to deal with. In Russia lots of the children have an official FAS diagnosis and many, many more may have it, whether it is mentioned or not. For the first time, ever, I have started to wonder if we might even be able to adopt two siblings. They would need to be very young, though, as I really do feel dd needs to be the only big kid in the house, like she is used to being.

post #358 of 421

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kinza View Post

We found out we will have to do IVF if we want a baby.  So, even though we thought there was a good chance of having to do IVF, knowing for sure is just awful.  No happy people in our house.  So I've called the RE to request an info packet.  Perhaps they will call me back at some point . . . 

 


I know what a shock that news can be. After a bunch of tests showing that "there's nothing wrong" and 3 failed Clomid cycles, we went to IVF. Lo and behold, they did find something wrong and despite less than stellar fertilisation results, our IVF worked first time. I don't want to be all Pollyanna-ish, because obviously it's not a fix-all, but the constant monitoring can really shed light on things. Feel free to PM me and I would be happy to talk about my experiences. Also, you may want to check out the IVF support threads, too. Best of luck.
 

 

post #359 of 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post

We found out we will have to do IVF if we want a baby.  So, even though we thought there was a good chance of having to do IVF, knowing for sure is just awful.  No happy people in our house.  So I've called the RE to request an info packet.  Perhaps they will call me back at some point . . . 

 


I'm sorry, hun. It's a hard pill to swallow. I found once I accepted the step, it brought me renewed hope (along with the idea of pretty good odds). I hope that you end up feeling the same. The IVF thread is really supportive, and I'd be happy to answer any questions if you want to PM me. Thinking of you! goodvibes.gif
post #360 of 421
Another quick post to keep in touch. Had a busy week with an even busier one ahead. CM has stunk this cycle and my temps have been weird and high pre-O for the second cycle in a row, but I did finally get a positive OPK today. Hope hubby is up for BD tonight.
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Trying To Conceive › *** Bitter Sushi Ladies, March 2011 Thread ***