Help please, not sure what to do

[Azik's mom]

I am expecting baby #2 at the end of April.  For now my DH, DS (3.5 years old) and I all sleep in the same bed.  These days it has become quite uncomfortable.  My DS likes sleeping right next to me.  By this I mean he is practically right up under me; so I find myself at the edge of the bed barely hanging on.  We decided that we wanted to get him into his own bed, but still in our room before the baby comes.  So far this plan has not worked.

A couple days ago we did manage to get him off the bed.  We placed a mattress next to our bed and I lay beside him hugging him until he went to bed. The only thing is I noticed that he was a total wreck during the day.  He cried for almost everything and constantly wanted me to lift him (which I dont want to do at this stage of my pregnancy) or he wants to sit on my lap.  I also noticed that he tried to steer as far as possible from our bed even during the day.  Well as of two nights ago I allowed him back onto our bed.  At first he was quite reluctant; we told him that he could come on our bed if he wanted to and at first he said no.  Then he went and slept on the floor and then at the last minute he climb on our bed.  He however is a little calmer now during the day.

I dont know if I made a mistake letting him come back; but somehow I felt as though he thought we were pushing him away.  This pregnancy has been a real challenge.  I was sick for the first 5 months or so and some of the activities he and used to do together slowed down.  Now we are back to doing most of them but I know he realizes that things have changed and more changes are coming.

He is quite a sensitive little boy and we have had lots of changing besides the pregnancy e.g. moves and a new house.  He nursed until he was almost three and was quite content to sleep with us.

At this point Im not sure what to do.  I need to be comfortable and the new baby is going to need some space ( we have a Queen sized bed) but at the same time I dont want him to think he is being rejected.  I would love to hear some suggestions.

[mamaforever]

Oh wow, that is interesting on his daytime neediness after having him sleep on his own mattress!  Really makes it seem like they relate to one another (I certainly think they must if he's never acted that way during the day before).  Well, I think you can make it work to cosleep with the new baby and your DS.  Since you have just a queen size mattress, you will want to either have a cosleeper for the new baby or sidecar the crib (attach it to your bed with the one side open so it's basically a full size cosleeper).  It's all open to the queen size bed so you can still nurse, etc.  Here's a link on how one family set up the sidecar crib:

http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/ 

So, you would have the new baby sleep in the cosleeper or sidecar crib, then you, then your DS, then your DH.  So your DS would be between you and DH so he can't fall out of the bed but also won't be right next to the new baby.

I hope something like this can work for you!  We are trying for baby #2 this summer and will try some sort of arrangement to cosleep with both children too.  Good luck!

[Azik's mom]

Thanks.  That does give me some ideas.  Im gonna try putting a bed for him right next to ours (we have been using a mattress on the floor)  maybe having  one the same height as ours will make his feel better.  This might help me sleep better for the next couple weeks