Looking for doula/advisor

[Jocelyn1]

Hi Everyone.  I am new to this community and need some help.  I am 32 weeks and am starting to get very nervous about labor and delivery.  I want to attempt a low intervention VBAC but not happy with my doctor.  It seems like he doesn't want to talk about it.  Every time I bring it up he says that he supports my decision but it is not recommended and there are a lot of risks although he will agree to "allow" me to try.  I've done my research and I know about the risks.  I have been looking for a new doctor but can't find one that will take me this late.  Also, my husband says he will support me but I don't think he will be a good advocate for me when the time comes, he's more of a "whatever you say doc" kind of guy.  I don't want to have to fight by myself when I am in labor.  I have no family around that can help and I don't know what a labor is like without interventions, I know I don't want my water broken, internal monitoring or episiotome (sp?).  What other routine interventions should I be aware of?  I would love to have a doula, but I can't afford much and really don't know where to look.  Any suggestions?   I have ordered Natural Childbirth the Bradley way but I'm still pretty scared, I feel like I am going to have to go through this alone. 

[jenniro]

I am right there with you girl.  I live in a very small town in a rural state, so my choice of docs is pretty slim.  Would you feel comfortable with home birth?  You will be in the comfort of your own home, you won't have to fight off unnecessary interventions.  Midwives are very comfortable with natural birth, which helps you to be comfortable with natural birth, and usually have the skills and knowledge to quickly assess when a transfer to the hospital is necessary so it's usually not emergent. 

We will be trying to get preg this summer and I am planning a homebirth after 2 c-sections.  My husband is supportive in that he says, sure if you feel a homebirth is the way to go great, just don't be upset when you have another c-section.  I know, sometimes he's an ass. 

If homebirth is outside your comfort level, get ready for a fight.  Your doc does not sound supportive at all.  "Allowing" someone to "try" labor is not supportive of natural birth.  Doulas are a great source of support, and they are experienced in natural birth as well, but they don't do anything medical.  They will usually work with you for payment as well, sometimes exchanging services, like babysitting, or setting up a payment plan.  A good place to start looking for doulas is online.  http://doulamatch.net/  If that doesn't work, you can call the LD nurses at the hospital and see if they can give you a place to start.

I am biased toward natural childbirth so this is my opinion on interventions.  The ONLY intervention I will allow if I have to give birth in the hospital is intermittent fetal monitoring.  Cervical checks are useless and only make me anxious about how slow I am progressing.  They also risk accidentally breaking my water.  Breaking my water puts me on the clock.  Anything they use "to speed things along" will get me on the road of interventions to a c-section. 

I had a poor experience with a doula for my second c-section, a failed VBAC.  I didn't feel 100% comfortable with her, but she was the only doula in town.  I know my experience is not the norm, so I fully support doulas, just not for me.  I might ask my sister or best friend to be with me if I have to go to the hosptial.  They are both big supporters of natural birth, and will help me fight off the docs, especially my sis, she's spitfire. 

Anyway, I hope this helps, and know that you are not alone.  There are so many women fighting this battle, and a lot of them are right here, ready to support you when no one in real life is.  You can do this!!  Your body was made to birth your babies.

[jenniro]

I forgot to mention ICAN, International Cesarean Awareness Network.  http://ican-online.org/  They may have a chapter in your area, and they are really helpful in finding supportive providers, doulas, and other VBAC moms. 

[Jocelyn1]

LOL.  That's exactly what my husband says and "you'll be begging for an epidural".  Geez thanks for the confidence.  I would love to have a homebirth but live in an apartment that I'm not exactly comfortable with.  I'm in the process of looking for a new doc and will check out that site for a doula as well.  I contacted ICAN which suggested several providers and how to find a doula.  Unfortunately I have no friends or family in the area, just in laws who think I'm crazy or make me crazy.  Thank you for the suggestions and good luck to you with #3.

[jenniro]

Thanks!  I'm really glad ICAN was able to help, hope you find a great provider and have a beautiful birth, even with a goober hubby ( gotta love 'em)

[3boys+1girl]

Hi! I am a doula in training right now. I am getting certified through CBI. All I have to do is attend 2 births to get my certification. SO... I would love to offer my services for free. I'm a VBA2C mama myself. I've had 2 c-sections that I believe were still unnecessary. I've also had 2 successful all natural VBA2C's. One was in a hospital and one was at home. I would love to help you out. If you are still looking for a doula/advocate to help you with this birth please contact me. You can always email me at [e-mail]

[cinderella08]

A doula is most definitely invaluable to a mama who needs an advocate.  I'm in the NC/SC area if either of you are near.  I am a CBI doula.