any advice for moving across the country?

[neonalee]

Hi mamas, DP is moving at the end of March and I am following sometime in June.  It's me, DS who will be somewhere around 10 months, and 2 old cats.  I don't know if I'm driving or flying and there's a good chance my mom will make the trip with me to help out.  We'll pack up and get rid of as much as possible, but I'm going to end up packing most of the house myself (can't afford a full service mover to pack for me).

I'm overwhelmed by this.  I've done some research using movingscam.com.  Has anyone BTDT with an infant and have some advice for me?

[trumpcard]

I don't have BTDT advice exactly but we did move ourselves cross country when DD was 5 weeks old. All the packing was done before she arrived and while I was uncomfortably pregnant and working more than full time. We started packing 2 months before the moving van arrived and I made a point of packing a box every night during that time no matter how tired I was. DH and our families loaded the van (we packed and loaded the van ourselves but it was driven by a professional) over a long weekend and DD was born the next day (perfect timing baby girl, we'll forever be grateful!)

We moved in with my parents until taking possession of our new home 5 weeks later.

DH and my dad went a week before DD, my mom and I flew to our new home. 

Since the move a have flown with DD alone several times including just this last week. She is now 9 months old and flying with her alone is getting more difficult since she want to be up and cruising, not sitting in mama's lap, but it can be done. If you have your mom's help I would suggest flying rather than driving. I know DD would not have patience for a multiple day cross country drive at this age.

I would suggest you start packing early. Get you DP to help you with some of it now. Make a goal to get one box from a single area of the house packed each evening after your DS is asleep. Start with the non-essential stuff and go from there. books, CDs, DVDs, seasonal supplies, kitchen stuff except for the bare-bones essentials, extra linens, out of season clothes, pictures off the walls, etc. If you have a garage you can store boxes there for the time being or start stacking them in corners. Enlist the help of friends or family when it comes time to actually load the van. 

You can do it! I used our move as a chance to get rid of lots of random stuff and I love our new home without all the clutter. Good luck, mama!

[neonalee]

Thanks!  My mom does say she wants to fly, I'm just not sure of the logistics.. I guess we could rent a car when we get there until our stuff arrives and ship the car as well.  Also not sure how that would work with our cats.  So many things to figure out!

[remijo]

I moved from Wyoming to Georgia when DD was 4 months old and then from Georgia to Maryland when DD was 6 months old (military).  And we didn't fly at all - I did the four day road trip alone with a 4 month old DD from Wyoming to South Carolina to see DH graduate basic.  It can be done. Just take extra time to pack and make sure you have a bag of necessaries - anything you think you might need including a favorite toy for the baby and a bottle of aspirin for you.  Have all that stuff very available to ease things and don't sweat the small stuff. 

In two months, I will be moving from maryland to Korea with a 7 year old and a 16 month old (possibly alone if my DH gets sent ahead of time).  I am convinced I will land in Korea and break down crying but that's life.  We are getting rid of everything we don't need and packing very lightly. And I am starting to meditate now...lol. Enjoy your move!!

ETA - sorry I don't have any pet advice - you can look into flying them as that might be the only way but research what carrier you're going on fully.  I've never flown pets and I've never heard terrible things but I know it can sometimes be difficult and  expensive. 

[Emelee]

I'm doing almost this exact same thing except I'm moving ahead of DH with DD around March to April and he's moving in June. She will be between 4 months and 5 months old and we'll be going from MO to SC. I'm trying to pack now (when she lets me) and I'll also have 2 cats and 2 large fish tanks. My plan is to tow our car behind the moving truck and keep the cats in there sedated with a litter box/food/water and the fish tanks in there as well (covered so the cats can't get into it). I will also have our immediate bags of supplies in the car being towed so I can access them easier. This seems to be the only way to transport our animals because flying them would be expensive and there's not an immediate airport near where I'm moving. My parents are driving out to help me since I know I won't be able to do it by myself. Good luck, I know it's a pain trying to get everything organized with a little one!

[asberck]

My husband and I moved from CA to VA while I was pregnant.  It was probably the most difficult thing we've ever done but it CAN be done.  My advice is for you and baby to fly.  I flew with baby in my tummy.  I flew out to VA in June and DH packed and drove the two cats cross country during the last week of June.

We opted with shipping most of our stuff (about $1,000), left some stuff with in-laws, and DH packed the small amount he could into our tiny car.  Talk to your vet about some sleeping meds for the cats in the car.  They will be super miserable otherwise.  Also, carsick cats are the worst.  

Do a little bit every day so you won't be overwhelmed completely.  I can offer a lot of positive energy and don't lose hope.  It is hard and can be terrible but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And if your parents or friends can possibly help, let them.

[asberck]

Flying cats is really challenging.  They need to be sedated.  Cats don't do well in baggage so they would need to be under 20 lbs. including the carrier.  Basically, unless it is your only option, I don't recommend flying with cats.  Especially cats AND babies.

[Knitting Mama]

We drove two cats cross country when I was 15-- we moved from upstate NY to Arizona. It wasn't exactly the most fun thing in the world, but it ended up being fairly simple.

If you're driving the cats, here are some things to keep in mind.

• A few weeks before the move, get your cats used to wearing a harness. On the day you're heading out, put the harnesses on, and leave them on until you get to your new home. This will make it easier to take them out of their carriers along the way.
• Also beforehand, put out the cat carriers, with the doors taken off or propped open in some way. This will make it a LOT easier to get the cats into the carriers when you're leaving. They won't be scared of them.
• Plan your route in advance and make sure motels/hotels are cool with pets.
• On the first day, you probably don't want to feed them before leaving the house. It might come back up. Feed them on one of the stops instead.
• Plan on stopping every 3-5 hours (which you'd probably have to do with the baby too). Clip a leash onto the harness when you take the cats out, and let them wander a bit. Offer food and water, and they hopefully have held their bodily functions and will "do their business" then.
• Keeping the carriers clean: You're going to have to experiment with this. Some cats do well with newspaper lined carriers, others take that to mean "POOP HERE," so you'll have to see if newspaper is a good idea for your cats or not. Towels that you don't particularly care about might work too. Especially if you put them in there in advance, when you're letting the cats get used to the carriers.
• Talk to your vet, but it is my understanding that many cats do not do well with sedation, and if you're drive across the country, the last thing you want is to have to find an e-vet because one of your cats is having a reaction to the drugs.

Hope that helps!

[neonalee]

Thanks mamas!  All useful advice.  I actually think the cats are the biggest worry!  They are both older and one KNOWS every time we try  to slip something in his food.  He's even refused tuna!  This is the cat that had been abused and is afraid of everything.  The other one is my "other baby" and he has an undiagnosed health issue.  So.  Not going to be fun regardless & cat drugs totally impossible.  Our boxes come next week & I'm going to do my best to be ruthless with tossing things.  Now if I could shake this really bad bronchitis I've got!

[new2this]

We moved from TX to WA end of dec. (military) They moved and packed majority of our stuff so we didn't have to deal with that. The stuff we wanted to move ourselves we packed and we loaded the Uhaul. DD was 4 months old and we have a lab. I planned our route so we knew where were stopping for the night. While not the best hotels they worked and are cheap for the most part. Travel lodges and Super 8s is where we stayed at. most all accept pets the fee was 5-10.00  We drove on average 12 hours a day. Every time we got gas (so it was about every 2-3 hours depending) is when I would pull DD out and DH would take the dog out. For lunch we usually got out and went inside so DD could have longer then 20 minutes out of her seat. She slept most of the time. 

[Erin77]

We moved from Chicago to Hawaii when our son was 9 days old. It was a total nightmare, I won't lie. My husband came out the week I was due to find us an apartment, then came back for 10 days and the baby was born, and then he went back to Hawaii and me and my mom finished packing and sending all the stuff the week after the baby was born. I agree with PPs who said do a little at a time, starting early. It was so hard for me to make decisions after I had the baby, I was way too emotional! 

[tinytwists]

My husband is in the Navy and we've moved several times with our kids. Its definitely personality based. I don't know if you've taken short-long car trips with your kids (like two hours or so) to see how they deal with it? Our kids do great. I can drive 7/8 hours with them from without an occasional cry for diaper change or request for bathroom. We've done this since they were about 6 mos old, visiting family or driving to our new station. However, I will say that not all our friends kids are that easy. Here are the things we use to keep them entertained. Snacks, cds, dvds, small books and toys. We are moving across country in 3 weeks (CA to VA) and I definitely plan on driving it with my hubby or grandpa so that I can tend to requests. We do max 8 hours, but try to stick with a 6 hour routine. For this trip now that they are 2 and 4, I've gotten small surprises of little notebooks, stickers and small toys to surprise them along the way. 

Good Luck!!