Tell me what to do...

[micah_mae_]

My 2 year old is autistic. He is very high needs. I need help with his behavior, nothing works! Time outs don't work because I don't think he knows why he's in there. Talking doesn't work because he won't look at me and he's non verbal atm so I don't know how much he understands.

He hits, he screams, he whines. I'm going insane. I love him so much it breaks my heart that I don't want to be around him. :(

[Eyelet]

Hugs to you mama, I know this is hard.

My son has autism and very little works for 'discipline'. Talking about it doesn't work because he's nonverbal and doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand. Time-outs are useless.

Is your son in school? Does he receive services from an OT that you can consult with? Many, many sensory breaks can help with behavior. 

PECS? If your son has PECS to communicate, maybe it will help prevent some meltdowns?

Respite is very, very important and should not be shrugged off. Getting burned out from not enough breaks is a very real possibility and you need that time to recharge.

And finally, I know meds are intimidating and not for everyone, but when my son's aggression got so out of control we basically had no choice but to look at medications to help him. It's not the perfect situation, but it has helped him calm down and cope better. Honestly, I'm not sure we could handle him without them. 

[micah_mae_]

Originally Posted by IxIa 

Hugs to you mama, I know this is hard.

My son has autism and very little works for 'discipline'. Talking about it doesn't work because he's nonverbal and doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand. Time-outs are useless.

Is your son in school? Does he receive services from an OT that you can consult with? Many, many sensory breaks can help with behavior. 

PECS? If your son has PECS to communicate, maybe it will help prevent some meltdowns?

Respite is very, very important and should not be shrugged off. Getting burned out from not enough breaks is a very real possibility and you need that time to recharge.

And finally, I know meds are intimidating and not for everyone, but when my son's aggression got so out of control we basically had no choice but to look at medications to help him. It's not the perfect situation, but it has helped him calm down and cope better. Honestly, I'm not sure we could handle him without them. 

Thanks, he does go to an ABA program 4 days a week for 1.5 hours. He doesn't see an OT regularly but I think he should since he also has SPD..we just didn't get a referral for that.

How does respite work?

He's not aggressive when he hits, he thinks he's playing.

If I could just minimize the meltdowns I could deal..

[Eyelet]

I would definitely seek out an OT for regular therapy. My son receives his through school and sees an OT daily. It's a huge help and and his therapist has given me may tips on how to deal with his sensory needs at home. We also have many sensory 'toys' at home that help him calm down when he's overstimulated.

In my situation (and I think most people with autism) the biggest meltdown triggers are frustration in not being able to communicate properly and sensory overloads. Seeking therapy in both areas seems the way to go.

Respite can come in many forms. Family/friends can provide it. It can also come from the state. Depending on how it's handled in your area, you have to contact the state department of human services and request respite hours. My state has a waiting list, but once you're on the state will pay X amount of respite hours per week for a worker of your own choosing. They come into your home and provide you with a break. 

[heatherdeg]

Our son's behavior was so bad that I was reading behavior books for kids with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) just to get some kind of idea of what I could possibly do.  I have to say that the best books I found for real help were the Positive Discipline books (they have ones for birth-3, preschool, etc.)

Also seconding PECS.  We did a homemade version, but if yours is in ABA--the ABA therapist might have access to a PECS system.  One of ours did, but we needed more after she left so we just scoured the 'net for images that worked for us.  My son is now 7yo and we're actually revisiting a variant of this.

Last, I think our son might have been 3yo when we did this, but we read a really short book called "At Home With Montessori" (nothing like a Montessori classroom) and changed a lot of how we things were arranged in the house for his access and what kinds of things we allowed him to do.  It was a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE change in his behavior.  You can get the book from the For Small Hands website.

[micah_mae_]

Thank you ladies! I admit I'm a little more stressed than usual..along with my son I also have a 4 month old and a young not-yet-housetrained puppy as well. DH left on Monday for a 3 week long TDY and my elderly grandma is here helping me out..but she doesn't understand autism. She is very helpful with cooking and house work though. I think my son is reacting to daddy being gone. :(

[kanga2roo]

I HIGHLY recommend this book  http://www.amazon.com/Miller-Method-Developing-Capacities-Children/dp/1843107228  Even though this is not at all a behavioral approach ( it is cognitive-developmental) it will help you understand your child and get some ideas on how to expand his behaviors. Kids who tantrum and are more intense actually do quite well with this approach. It will help you to see where he's falling apart and, in a very easy to understand format, how to get his behaviors more functional and interactive in a positive way. It will help you to connect with him and will surely help.

[PNWmama]

Aw, hugs mama!  I bet it is the transition of his daddy being gone, plus grandma being there, still adjusting to his new baby sibling...things just aren't normal for him right now.  I know that with my ds changes in his routine can really make his behavior go down hill.  Plus, sensory overload is a huge issue for him as well and causes many meltdowns.

[micah_mae_]

Thank you ladies..I have a habit of going from super stressed to calm. :)