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Calling all mamas of boys!! Boys vs. Girls? - Page 2

post #21 of 32


Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post
My advice is to tell your friend to back off with the horror stories.  Just because she can't handle her son, doesn't mean you will have the same experience!


I totally agree!


I have two girls. One was quiet, easy as a baby, entertained herself. The other... *sigh* gives me grey hair everyday. Gender doesn't matter.

post #22 of 32

DDC crashing - she's wrong!  My boy was not a typical "boy" bundle of boundless energy until the last two weeks (he's almost 3).  Even so, he plays quietly by himself all the time and has since he could play.

post #23 of 32
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by mama2soren View Post

A little boy can't CRY??  Can't be sweet and gentle??  No wonder this little boy of hers might be a little more challenging than average.  


Yes, exactly!  More challenging than average is right! B/c seriously, this mama is the only one I know who has SO MUCH trouble with her child. I think I needed to hear everyone's responses to really have it sink in that she definitely has other issues going on that make her child act out. I just wish she would STOP BLAMING HIS GENDER for his misbehaviour!!


I met with her once for a playdate with our kids at a local park.  Poor DD was terrified of this mama.  Her son wanted to pick up rocks and she reamed at him DON'T TOUCH!  He wanted to swing or run or slide and everything was No!! NO!!  He couldn't do anything without getting yelled at.  DD was more than willing to share her ball and every time he stole it away and she got upset it was b/c "He's a boy and is pushy," not b/c she never taught him to share.  


I know there are a ton of issues at play.  But I just really don't know how to get her to stop blaming his gender for it.  I think the only way will be when my theoretical son grows up to be a normal, well behaved (but obviously with some boundary pushing) toddler and child.  I almost want the challenge just to prove her wrong.

I told her today that my MIL had three boys.  Only one was mischievous, constantly pushing buttons and doing crazy things, and my DH and his youngest brother were quiet and inquisitive.  She came back with, "quiet isn't what I'm talking about.  it's not how their brains are wired. boys need activity."


I wrote back, "do you think for some reason girls don't????"


What's also funny is that my MIL often compares DD to her mischievous son, saying she has an awful lot of Uncle Ryan in her!

post #24 of 32

 Actually, reading that last post, I'm sad for her son and any future children she might have.  It sounds like she's got some pretty specific ideas about how boys and girls *need* to be, and that never bodes well for self-esteem or emotional intelligence.  greensad.gif

post #25 of 32

Well I certainly feel secure in my decision to AP after reading about this woman!

post #26 of 32

I haven't read the replies, and I'm sure you've gotten lots of reassurance by now, but here's mine!


I have two boys, ages 4 and 2.  One was a very intense, challenging baby; his brother was very mellow and easygoing.  Both like to play physically, "fight", run around, etc.  Both also like to snuggle (each other, me, the cat...).  Both kiss my belly and talk to baby inside.  The 4 year old has never really been able to play quietly by himself.  The 2 year old will play quietly by himself for HOURS. shrug.gif


They're KIDS.  Whatever innate gender differences there may be, the whole possible range of behavior and personality is the same for boys and girls. 

post #27 of 32

DDC crashing :) I agree with everyone else on the thread.  I have a 5 year old ds, a 3 year old dd, and a 1 year old dd.  My son was a high energy baby and toddler, but my youngest daughter is EXACTLY the same.  At 1 year old they refused to sit in the stroller, darted out of the stores, pulling merchandise off the shelves, climbing up on the kitchen table.  Both times (with ds and now with little dd) I had to chain the kitchen chairs to the table legs...


My middle dd was not like that at all.


Once my ds was around 2, 2.5 he calmed down a lot and he has always been a pretty calm, quiet boy who loves to play fire trucks, Playmobil and Lego.  He will sit for hours building creations and setting up elaborate scenes.  And he loves to read, read, read. 


My dds have been much harder on me.  The tantrums, the emotion, the drama... they bring it to the next level.  I feel like I am in way over my head with them!


I know how you feel having a friend like that.  I have one who has a boy and a girl and constantly makes negative comments about boys!!  She has even said, "Boys are so much stupider than girls" in front of our sons!!!  WTH?  Who does that? 

post #28 of 32

Yeah, that would completely piss me off too. I hate when people tell you all their horror stories about some life event you happen to be going through. I would straight up tell her that her negativity is upsetting you and ask her to talk about something else for a change.


I have two nephews who are definitely energetic little dudes and do crazy stuff (like accidentally flush undies down the toilet b/c he thought they were his tp lol), but they are also the sweetest children ever! They are 5 and 3 and I adore them both, they are so loving to each other, and everyone else too. I also have 2 friends with boys who are both wonderful kids, and so much fun. 


Boys are just as wonderful as girls. Just like all people, each child has a different personality already when they are born, and parenting makes a huge difference too, so gender is only part of the equation yk? Hugs to you Carrie, I'm sorry she's being so crappy.



post #29 of 32

i didn't read all the posts just yours baby cakes. i just wanted to say that i'm 24 with 3 boys 5, 2.5, 1.5. and they are awesome! honestly boys are different than girls by nature but they still like to colour and dance ect. having an older sister will help set the tone too i think, aswell as the way you parent. just be intune with their natural rythms. give him opertunity to run and play when he needs to and don't expect him to play quietly all day, obviously, lol. i think that lady is out to lunch and it's more her parenting/child than all boys are monsters! 

post #30 of 32

I just wanted to say that reading this thread has been very helpful to me!  I come from a family of 3 girls, and my mom always said she was so happy she never had a boy.  I think I internalized all of that and got pretty terrified at first when I found out I'm having a boy!  It didn't help that my dad's response when I told him the gender was "well, your mother won't be able to help you, she doesn't know anything about boys."  (They're divorced, by the way eyesroll.gif)


I go for walks in the park near my house a lot, and I've been observing the little boys, they don't all look like destructive little hedonists winky.gif


Anyway, it was great to hear about everyone's experiences!

post #31 of 32
Originally Posted by Tamera View Post

Well I certainly feel secure in my decision to AP after reading about this woman!

What is AP?

post #32 of 32

Attachment Parenting, what MDC is all about. 

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