Oh boy. Did he mess with the wrong lactivist.

[~Boudicca~]

So I was at work last night when my coworker came up to me and said, "So, if you were breastfeeding your kid in a restaurant wouldn't you cover up?  Look at the lady on 702.  Does this mean that I should be able to masturbate (no he didn't use that term so use your imagination) in public?"  We work in an upscale restaurant and the lady in question was nursing her newborn and the place was empty.

Oh dear.

So, I looked at him like he had about 50 heads and let loose.  I said, "Are you freaking kidding me?  You can't even compare the two.  In one instance, you're getting off in a sexual way, and in the other she is feeding her baby.  And BTW, she's showing less tit feeding her kid than half of the chicks that come in here on your typical Saturday night yet I don't see anyone coming up to me saying, 'Wow, how can she wear that designer barely-there-dress I sure wish she'd cover up.  My poor eyes feel so violated.'  I can tell you right now that when I nursed my baby you wouldn't have even known it unless you lifted up my shirt to look.  And it shouldn't matter anyway because according to state law she is perfectly entitled to breastfeed her kid wherever she wants regardless of how much skin she's showing so don't go over there and harass her about it unless you want the restaurant to get socked with a possible lawsuit, a nurse-in, a fine to pay, and make a new mom feel like crap."

I left him speechless.  Gosh that felt good.

Then shortly after my busser came up to me and said, "That's whole lot of suckling going on over there on 702 did you check that out?" To which I replied, "No Sweetie I didn't and I don't know what the big deal is.  They're boobs.  They feed babies.  Get over it."

[HollyBearsMom]

[woodchick]

I bet he didn't even think about what he was saying, but he sure will next time!

[goinggreengirl]

[Lucy Alden]

He he he.  Love it!

[FloridaBorn]

*appalled*  Is that what wait staff say about us when we eat out??

[~Boudicca~]

Um...I guess it's what anyone could say if they want to be ignorant and pick on someone for NIP.  I don't think it's exclusively a waitstaff thing.

ETA:  Thinking about this more, we hear fairly often of moms being discriminated for NIP while eating out (remember Applebee's?) and I wonder if it's because a server has to go to the table many times during the course of a meal and has to see the "shocking" act of nursing each time they are there.  Bring over a glass of wine..."OMG she's breastfeeding!" Bring over some apps "OMG she's still doing it!"  Clear the apps "OMG I think I just saw her nipple pop out of the babies mouth!" If you have a server, or any of their support staff, that is not familiar with breastfeeding let alone the rights that go along with it (and I hate to generalize it's not uncommon for restaurant staff to be rather young and inexperienced--like the 24 y/o bachelor I just told off), and tends to sexualize it like a lot of people do then I guess I could see where a woman NIP would be a big deal and subject to the jokes of those that aren't comfortable with it and don't get it.

I have to say, the last time I heard anyone get snotty about NIP (in a restaurant) was about 12 years ago...and it was me.  I was 20, and yes I was that immature waitress in the server station saying, "Oh come on!  That's what bottles are for!  I can't believe she's doing that right at my table!"

And here I am, 12 years later, still nursing my 4 y/o.  And I don't think there's anywhere I haven't NIP.

So, I guess I'll just continue to normalize it.  That's what lactivism is all about, right?

Edited by ~Boudicca~ - 3/4/11 at 7:48am

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~ 

Um...I guess it's what anyone could say if they want to be ignorant and pick on someone for NIP.  I don't think it's exclusively a waitstaff thing.

Unfortunately I think it is just a general public kind of thing. UAVs!!

I remember my SIL telling me how gross it was when she saw a lady BFing her maybe 12 month old one day at the garden center where she worked at the time...I just sighed and told her she isn't really entitled to an opinion until she has a kid then come talk to me...Maybe not the best thing to say but I couldn't think of anything smarter at the moment. This was when DD was only 6 months old, so I am sure she is disgusted by me nursing a nearly 2 year old.

[icy02]

Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~ 

I have to say, the last time I heard anyone get snotty about NIP (in a restaurant) was about 12 years ago...and it was me.  I was 20, and yes I was that immature waitress in the server station saying, "Oh come on!  That's what bottles are for!  I can't believe she's doing that right at my table!"

And here I am, 12 years later, still nursing my 4 y/o.  And I don't think there's anywhere I haven't NIP.

So, I guess I'll just continue to normalize it.  That's what lactivism is all about, right?

I am not proud to say I was there too. 21 years old and working as an assistant manager for a restaurant. Man did I bash those NIP ladies to my co-workers. Now I proudly nurse at the dinner table and no one would dare say a thing.

I came from a small conservative town where I NEVER saw anyone NIP. If they were nursing they defiantly were well covered. I hope my NIP can help educate young people so they realize nursing is natural. A bottle is not natural.

I will be going home in May with both my kiddos and will be seeing my family for the first time in a while. I am sure they will have some comments about 'covering up' or NIP at the dinner table. That should be interesting to see how it goes. Esp since DS2 refuses to have his head covered.
 

[Ldavis24]

I remember maybe a year before I got pregnant I was talking to an acquaintance who told me she nursed her daughter until she was 2. I gawked and gushed about how I couldn't believe she did that and I could NEVER do that...I still kick myself for that one. I feel so bad for that girl having to sit there and listen to me basically be in shock about how weird she was. DD will be 2 in June and we are nowhere near done nursing! DD loves her nummas!

[motherhendoula]

12 years ago i was nursing DS#1 - it was Mothers Day - and my DH was gone - he had left for a weekend long bachelor party ...yes, over Mothers Day....but of course his family still wanted to meet and go out to eat - so i had my 3 yr. old DD  and 6 week old DS - it took like 60 minutes to get seated and another 45 to get served ...i was lucky DD didnt melt down - as soon as the food came out, DS wanted to nurse ...the waitress came over to me - leaned into the ear opposite the baby - so i could hear her better - and asked me if she could bring me a cover for my food....i had no idea there even was such a thing...i just thought ill nurse on the left side  so i can eat with my right hand!

But i never forgot that - how sweet of her to offer - and just the way she did it...i think SHE was the lactivist!  lol

[happysmileylady]

This thread reminded me of a funny situation that happened when my now almost 6 month old was brand new.  It was like my first time out of the house after she was born, I think she was a week and a half, maybe 2 weeks.  I have nursed one other baby, but I still found nursing a newborn a little awkward-they are so tiny (6lbs 5oz at birth) and floppy, they are still trying to get the hang of the perfect latch, etc.  My mom was with me, as I had the 2 yr old as well, and we were at McDonalds and the baby was hungry too.  The place was packed, I had tried to find a booth in a corner, just so I could get comfortable, but there wasn't one available anywhere.  So, we ended up in a booth right by the window, just to the rear left of the main counter door. 

My mom took the 2 yr old with her to order, I held the booth and tried to get situated to nurse the baby.  I could get her latched fine and I am more comfortable with a cover, so I kept trying to cover her up with the blanket, but she wasn't having it.  It kept falling down, so I gave it up.  I was wearing a regular shirt, so I had it lifted up, and you couldn't see much, but of course in the still re-figuring it out stage, things were much more noticable than they would be now. 

There were 3 teen boys who were apparently on break or just clocking out or in or something, they were hanging around the door to go behind the counter, talking to someone over the door.  And kept glancing over at me, trying very hard NOT to show how they were trying to catch a look at my boob lol.  I couldn't even be upset with them because it was so pathetically funny.

[UnderTheMoon]

wtg mama!  that is so aweseome.  i cn hardly beleive you said all that.  i bet he knows not to mess with us now!