Cesarean Birth/Recovery Support Thread 9 (april 04) - Page 2

[Penelope]

Hey all -

My first post here - my ds was born by C-section on Wednesday. A surprise - dd was vaginal, I had *great* early labor, and during transition he turned posterior. Pushed for a couple of hours, the mw and her two OB partners tried really hard to turn him, but no go. He was 9 pounds, 9 ounces (!) so that may have been why.

FWIW, I'm feeling really good about the whole thing. A little wierded out by my incision, but bf is going well and I'm tired but not exhausted.

Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, emotionally, but for the moment I'm just home with the baby, hanging out, feeling pretty good all around. I'm looking forward to having this safe space to be in for a while.

Penelope

[OnTheFence]

Rachel

I am so sorry you are disappointed about not getting a natural birth, but I have some other things to say to you.

One, I hope you took a look at my birthplan. I hope you read this thread before tomorrow AM. You can have a wonderful birth tomorrow. Maybe not your ideal birth, but a wonderful one. Try not to let the disappointment affect the way you heal or th welcoming of your baby.

Tomorrow, your baby will be born - and I think that is so exciting you get to meet him.

I personally would never go past 2 weeks. I've read enough to know that after 42 weeks there are greater risks to you and your baby. Knowing several people who lost babies or who had severe problems due to being over due (one woman waiting till 44 weeks) I think you are doing the right thing by going to the hospital tomorrow and having the csection.

Also your bradley teacher was wrong to give you grief. You are 42 plus weeks pregnant, your baby is show distress, you have no dilation and you have been sick as a dog! (which I also had hypermesis) Why would you put a distressed baby under an induction or continue to wait? What does this woman want you to wait for? It just pissed me off to no end that someone who is supposed to support you, gives you grief the day before your bith. Since I know lots of birth educators and doulas read this thread I hope they read what I am saying and take it to heart!

Take a boppy with you, enjoy your baby -- ask to see him after he is born and let them hold him up on your chest for you. Get good pain relief. And just be in the moment and how wonderful it will be to meet that little one who has been baking for 10 moons.

Take care sweetie!
Kim

[bwylde]

P.S. Bradley teacher/doula was kinda rough on me when I told her...seems she thinks I should go for the 2 day induction or wait it out another week or so. I really hope I won't encounter this for the rest of my life, because I already feel like I've "given up" on a ncb. [/B]

IMo, don't worry about it. I was induced for a week (2-3 times a day, talk about torture) and it barely got me to a centimeter dilated (I had my section at 43 weeks). I don't think it's inconceivable that some women's bodies have a harder time going into labour. My son came out mature, he was ready to come out. Some people may be comfortable going to 44 weeks plus, but if you're having other problems, don't feel you have to justify it.

[Peppermint]

Rachel

Not to minimize your disappointment , but YEAH! Your baby is going to be born tomorrow- congratulations early!


:

I will be praying for a beautiful birth for you, health and a happy babymoon to come!

[Megs Mom]

P&B JAB

[Fisherb]

Thanks!

Just wanted to say thanks to the support you all mentioned before... This is a great thread --- a little chaotic, but great. It's like a whole sub-forum tucked into one thread!

Anyway, I haven't ever asked DH directly about PPD... There have been so many changes in our lives since the birth (12/17, btw), that I think he attributes so much to that... I laugh, I really enjoy the baby... These are things that led us to believe I don't have ppd. I'll ask him tomorrow, though. I may even ask him to read up a bit, then answer... He'll be up for that -- he's good like that.

I'll keep reading. Thank you all, again.

[Al Dente]

Thank you, thank you all for your support. It makes me feel like I am getting from all of you. I am convinced that it's the right decision for us, and you're all right...there's no need to justify that!

Onthefence-I did read your birth plan and have adapted it to my situation and printed out 2 copies. Thank you so much, I would never have thought about some of that stuff without it.

I will report back as soon as I can.

Penelope, just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing great! Hope you keep posting.


Rachel

[KKmama]

I'll write a huge response later, I just want to say howdy to all the new folks, especially everyone who just had a cesarean or is about to have one! And a big hug!

You don't have to be traumatized by a cesarean or gleeful about one to be here; you just have to be part of the circle, if you get what I mean!

[Piglet68]

My feeling is this: birth should not be so medicalized in this country. All women should be taught confidence in their bodies abilities. Women should be informed. Women should be supported 100% in their efforts to have as natural a birth as possible.

But....when all is said and done and a C/S seems the way to go, I think it's nice to be able to say hey, you know what? It's really not a bad experience at all. Especially if you birth in a progressive hospital, it can be a very pleasant experience.

I know this is so "un-MDC" to say, but...

there's alot to be said for no labour, lol.

[rainbowmoon]

Hi mamas! wow it's great to see this thread so busy!

Penelope-welcome & congrats mama! I just had a c/b a month ago and alot of what you wrote I can relate too even your labor and birth sounds alot like mine! This is a wonderful circle of sisters btw..

Rachel- (my fellow march mama) I'm sending you lots of love and positive energy. I agree with kkmama, a c/b (as I found out) doesn't necessarily mean a traumatic birth IMHO. I'm sorry your bradley teacher and doula are giving you grief over this, the thing is it's YOUR birth not thiers so don't take it to heart. Enjoy your baby sweetie!


I think the strangest emotion I had during my c/s was right before the surgery after I had made the decision. I felt a overwhelming sense of *relief*. it really took me by surprise as I had always pictured myself hysterical & dissapointed when I thought of me having a c/s..turns out it was DH who was (he actually had to leave the hospital & go outside and compose himself-poor guy)

so about birth control...I'm sort of at a loss..we had planned to TTC right away after this babe but now feel we should definitly wait a bit to let my body heal. what is the general consensus on when you should TTC after a csection? How long did you mamas wait that had previous c/b's? I have heard a year but was not told anything concrete.. I am definitly going to try for a VBAC though my current MW's sort of freaked when we told them we wanted to get preggers again fairly soon and this was before the c/s,they were not very supportive at all and even went as far as to downplay BF during PG and tandem nursing.wtf?!? (needless to say I'm looking for a new MW) Anyway I absolutley hate most forms of birth control and it took me 9 months to get preggers, but I just don't want to risk it until I'm fully healed so I'm going to get fitted for a diaphram next week. yuck. hopefully this will work out though.:

[Peppermint]

I was always told that 18 months between births (after c-birth) was a minimum. My first 2 were exactly 18 months between births, and all was just fine. The 3rd was 22 months after the second, and that was when my uterus was opened(on it's own, during pregnancy), so I think it can be really a crap shoot as far as how your body heals. IMO double layer suture makes a big difference in how the body heals/ how it handles another pregnancy.

To all considering VBAC- how are you deciding about induction? When I had planned to VBAC I had said I would only do so if I was not induced, so when it came down to it and I had to chose between induced VBAC and repeat c-birth- I chose the repeat. IMO cyotec (sp?), the gel they use to help dilate the cervix, is the most dangerous in regards to rupture, and I didn't even know that at the time- I was afraid of the pit. I am hoping, of course, that all planning VBAC are able to do so "au natural" and all will be well, just curious what you've thought on that. Oh- and- my OB liked the idea of an epidural in place during VBAC in case it turned into an emergency c-birth, but I didn't want to do that for fear it would mask the pain of a possible rupture. Thoughts?

[OnTheFence]

Originally posted by Piglet68
My feeling is this: birth should not be so medicalized in this country. All women should be taught confidence in their bodies abilities. Women should be informed. Women should be supported 100% in their efforts to have as natural a birth as possible.

But....when all is said and done and a C/S seems the way to go, I think it's nice to be able to say hey, you know what? It's really not a bad experience at all. Especially if you birth in a progressive hospital, it can be a very pleasant experience.

I know this is so "un-MDC" to say, but...

there's alot to be said for no labour, lol.

Sometimes I wish I could labor. I did have contractions for over 20 weeks with my last pregnancy. I have never dilated in any of my pregnancies. And I have sex right up until too. I never thin or anything like that. Nothing. Nada. Its like my body knows that my uterus can't handle it.
I will say it is so nice to pick a day. Arrange child care. Prepare. And walk into the hospital smiling, joking, and having my wits about me. Its nice to pick your nurse and the anest. Its nice to know I dont have to wait hours. Once they start you know its going to be over in a matter of minutes. My last csection was practically pain free, my aunt who had a baby 2 weeks before me was in terrible shape with her vaginal birth. I bounced back within hours, it took her a good month.

[OnTheFence]

Rainbow,

I think you should wait at least a year if not 18months. Your body needs a good chance to heal, especially if you want to VBAC. I have read that you have an increase placental problems and rupture problems if you get pregnant right away. My neighbor had her babies 15m apart on purpose, both born by csection. She had no problems but its not something I was willing to do.

I have heard from several moms that wanted one birth experience to also feel "relief" once a csection was needed or decided upon. I didn't feel this way the first time, but with my planned one, I did. I felt very at peace with the decision. I think when you have that feeling, its kind of your gut saying "this is okay" or "this is the right way to go".

We are not going to start trying until late summer of 2005. Which my youngest will be 3.5.

Kim

[Piglet68]

I can understand the feeling of wanting to experience labour. Thing is, when I was 19 I had a miscarriage. I was only about 5 or 6 weeks along, but the pains were pretty bad. I couldn't imagine having to go through that times ten.

As for TTC, I would definitely wait to give your body time to heal. Especially if you are interested in a VBAC. But there are many, many other reasons to wait as well. You want to give your first child the best start in life, and be able to devote yourself fully to them while they are still so dependent, as well as not wanting to jeopardize your breastfeeding relationship.

[witchbaby]

mainly posting to subscribe...
however, i do want to note that i was watching a baby story yesterday (bad lorrie!) and started getting teary eyed at the mamas laboring. i was sooooo jealous. i don't consider myself "robbed" of the experience (emergency c/b due to fetal distress), but i certainly wish i could have had the natural birth i'd planned for. i had included c/b in my birth plan but without much thought, the "i don't have to worry about it because it won't happen to me" line of thought (which is weird, coming from someone who has endured 2 miscarriages-- you'd think i'd have learned, yes, it CAN happen to you), thus, i think i missed out on a few things that would have made the birth more fulfilling, ya know?
we're planning on going off bc late this summer but i will not be weaning the girl, thus i have no idea how long it will take us to get pregnant. it took us over a year to get k, so who knows?

[KKmama]

Here's the long reply.

I didn't know my hospital's CB rate for ds, but I knew my midwife's rate, and it was very, very low. It's part of the reason I know my CB was truly necessary; she just doesn't allow them to be done on a whim.

For this baby, we're living in another state, and I'm planning a VBAC. So of course, I had to find someone willing to do a VBAC, and I checked their CB rate. Pretty good, for an ob practice.

Welcome to all the "new" people. It's moving to read what brings everyone here...

Lee, do you think you'll be able to find a provider who will give you a VBA2C? Didn't you have a repeat with #2 because you weren't allowed to do a VBAC? (Just curious.)

Rainbowmoon, I don't remember the burning sensation myself... Bending over--I think it was around 3 months? Maybe 4? My abs separated, too, and so I was trying to get all of *that* back together, too.

AnaNicole...

Fisherb, I found that keeping my incision "well-lubed" with vit E oil helped a lot with the itching. Lansinoh also works great.

Rachel, I'm thinking of you (you're probably recovering right now!). There are some parallels between your situation and the one which led to the cesarean I had with ds... Please don't feel down about it. It's really the pits when you're "overdue", you're waiting, waiting, waiting, doing all the right things, labor is not happening, *and* the baby is stressed out. I think a long induction at this point (sounds like you're about a 0 on Bishop's scale!) doesn't sound like the greatest idea... (IMO).

Timing the next one... what I've read indicates that allowing at least 24 mos. from *birth* to *birth* (you can be pregnant during that time) is optimal (so baby would be at least 15 mos old).

Induction and VBAC... we're not going to induce. If labor doesn't start on its own, I'll have another cesarean. If there is a *genuine* reason labor needs to be *augmented*, I might consider a very low amount of pitocin, but I'd rather do other things first (like walk, have sex, empty my bladder, get hydrated, get pain relief, whatever seems appropriate at the time). From what I've read, cytotec and prostaglandin gels are way more dangerous than pitocin. I don't want an epidural, in part because, yeah, if a rupture starts, I want to feel it, but also because I want to be mobile and have more options wrt birth positions.

Any other questions?

[its_our_family]

When I was VBAC I was refusing any form of labor enhancement, induction, or help. Induction, or so I thought was what me to the or in the first place. Now I'm not too sur I wouldn't have ended up there anyway!

If you had been around about 5 months ago you would have seen my struggles with VBAC. At 39 weeks I decided that I was really not that determined to have one. So, I left the idea behind and planned the most exciting and wonderful birth I have ever had (I've had 2 now..so lots of experience :LOL ) I enjoyed that last week of pregnancy more than I would have otherwise

[ladylee]

Lee, do you think you'll be able to find a provider who will give you a VBA2C?

I'd have to have a homebirth. If there is to be another child for us I can look for the right birth attendant to take me through VBA2C before I get pregnant. I did meet one midwife for a homebirth the last time around-she wasn't the right person for me. If I'm not able to find someone I like for a homebirth then I have no problem scheduling a third cesarean. I'm most content keeping all possibilities open and letting things unfold as they're intended.
Although I don't feel that great a sense of loss over not having birthed vaginally, I also don't want to cut myself off if there's a possibility of getting to experience it. I'm 40 years old this summer, never once thought I'd be a mother, and here I am-blessed with two beautiful daughters that I was able to conceive and gestate all on my own. I'm very grateful! I have quite a few friends who can't conceive, are up against the age issue, etc. etc. This whole mode of birth thing seems rather small compared to what these women face. Ok, I'm done-got a little windy there :LOL.

[LisaG]

Ladylee wrote

I have quite a few friends who can't conceive, are up against the age issue, etc. etc. This whole mode of birth thing seems rather small compared to what these women face.

Just peeking in here for a brief bit - but I totally agree. In the big scheme of things, yes I believe birth is hugely important - for baby and for mother. I think it's awful what so many women have had to endure during birth (vb and cb) due to the political/fear based birth climate that is so pervasive today. My biggest hope is that women and babies can be truly supported in evaluating their birth options AND truly supported in their births so they can be the very best experiences possible for both mom and baby. That said, I think it's also so important to remember that birth is not the end all be all.

Should I never have the v/b I always expected to have, as important as it was/is to me (and I realize that's not the case for everyone), I have to believe that birth is only the beginning. I have to believe that I can live through my disappointment and still have the amazing, incredible gift of a child. And I'll take that gift - with or without a v/b.

Yes birth is important, and yes it's incredibly important how women feel about their births - a woman struggling with trauma from their birth experience needs all the support and help healing as is humanly possible. We owe that to mothers and their families. Let's minimize trauma in birth as much as possible, for the sake of all of us. And let's also remember that birth is a beginning, not the end all be all.

Hmmm, turned out a bit more soapboxy than I intended - sorry about that.

LisaG

[OnTheFence]

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for joining us.

I think back 8 years ago when I was pregnant with DD I was thinking that a natural childbirth would be the end all and be all of my existence -- It would prove to the world that I was strong, that I could do this thing, that I would be able to buck the system, and that I would bring my baby into the world the best possible way.
The thing for me, the reality of it all, was that having a vaginal birth was not the best possible way for my baby to come into the world. I did not believe that have a cesection could be just as empowering as a natural childbirth or that I could have just as wonderful experience.
Childbirth/Pregnacy is over medicalized -- I am one of those people who need this kind of care -- not just because IT IS necessary, but for my peace of mind. *If* I ever get the opportunity again, I hope to possibly have less medical intervention during pregnancy but until I am there I just don't know. The thing is, I know, I have read all the risks, etc so I make a fully informed choice to do the things I want to do. I'm not ignorant.
I realized with my last csection that I can have an empowering experiencing in an OR. I can have all those "high" feelings for accomplishing the thing I so wanted to do which was "have a baby"
I've had fertility issues since I was a teenager, I have had more miscarriages than I can count, and I have high risk pregnancies just to make it to a live baby at the end of nine months is an accomplishment for my body in and of itself.