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voluntarily reliquishing rights for better of child - Page 3

post #41 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post

Im just glad im a single mother by choice. I dont have dramas with an ex. 

 

 



The nice thing to remember though is that it doesn't have to involve huge dramas.  People can just accept things and work collaboratively for the good of the child, and many people manage to do that just fine.  It seems to me that this guy is creating drama by wanting to opt out instead of being stable rock for this kid in what may be a pretty bumpy life if her mom shows poor judgement. It always angers me when people can't seem to get that they may not like the hand they've been dealt, but they need to accept it and make it work. 

post #42 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leenikol87 View Post

ps it's four days a year..everyone hear a year.  and no we wouldn't be crying over not getting her support..we wouldn't want it..she would be the dead beat mom bc she lost her first kid bc of the sex offender..so you all tell me why she hasn't gotten her second baby taken because we have said something to both the court and our lawyer, all u smart people answer me that.  My husband wishes one of his parents would have just given up..he got beat because the other parent was getting mad at the other..You all wouldn't be caring if i was the one trying to get my ex's parental rights reliquished..you would be giving me help on how to do it. 

Do you actually use all that money on ur daughter?

 



My apologies for misunderstanding on visitation.  And *I* do not get that money.  My husband and I pay that much money to his ex.  Would I enjoy that extra money each month?  Sure.  But I don't resent sending it because I believe my husband is responsible for his daughter.  And he also has a 3-year-old with me.

 

My comments still stand.  Giving up on your child is something that child will NEVER understand.

 

post #43 of 55

And the fact that she is with a registered sex offender would make me think you'd want to fight even harder to see the child, as you and your husband would be able to look out for her, even if it is only four days a year.

post #44 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSlingMama View Post

AttunedMama that was fabulous!

 

As a side note - $400 wouldn't even cover childcare in my area.  It's $500 a month MINIMUM in childcare just so one can go to work let alone make enough money to support a family.



I pay $1,303 per month where I am.  I take comfort in knowing my husband takes care of his responsibilities, and even if we separated or divorced, he would do everything in his power to take care of his daughter.  He's shown that to me by how he takes care of his daughter from a previous relationship.

 

post #45 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by newstepmom07 View Post





I pay $1,303 per month where I am.  I take comfort in knowing my husband takes care of his responsibilities, and even if we separated or divorced, he would do everything in his power to take care of his daughter.  He's shown that to me by how he takes care of his daughter from a previous relationship.

 

 

Yeah, in my area I found really great daycare for $800/month, there ARE cheaper options, but they're AWFUL and I would never send my ds to them (there is one that's nice, and is slightly less, but I have to provide all the food for ds, and its really inconvenient - all the ones that are close enough are terrible with a capital T). 

 

$1,303 is alot!!  Ouch.
 

 

post #46 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post



 

Yeah, in my area I found really great daycare for $800/month, there ARE cheaper options, but they're AWFUL and I would never send my ds to them (there is one that's nice, and is slightly less, but I have to provide all the food for ds, and its really inconvenient - all the ones that are close enough are terrible with a capital T). 

 

$1,303 is alot!!  Ouch.
 

 


It is a lot, but like you said, worth it to make sure my daughter is in a good daycare.  BUT, I couldn't imagine having to pay for everything on my own.  I get a pretty good paycheck, and I think I'd be left with maybe $100 a month after paying for the basics (rent, bills, insurance, daycare, gas, car payment).  That doesn't even include clothes and gorceries.  Single mothers have my utmost respect, especially when they don't have another parent helping at all.

 

And just going back to the OP for a moment, my husband's ex is horrible.  My stepdaughter has told us that she goes to her boyfriend's house for days, leaving her kids home alone with no food.  Her older sister has to come home from college just to make sure her younger siblings are fed and taken care of.  We've been fighting for custody for five years, and our efforts are finally paying off.  We are officially getting custody of my stepdaughter on Friday.  These things are not easy, even when you KNOW the biological mother is horrible.

 

BUT, even knowing she is horrible and may not (probably isn't) spending child support on my stepdaughter, I still don't resent it, because I know my stepdaughter would be in even a more precarious position without that money.


 

 

post #47 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post



 

Yeah, in my area I found really great daycare for $800/month, there ARE cheaper options, but they're AWFUL and I would never send my ds to them (there is one that's nice, and is slightly less, but I have to provide all the food for ds, and its really inconvenient - all the ones that are close enough are terrible with a capital T). 

 

$1,303 is alot!!  Ouch.
 

 

 

 

It's only $500 because I have a good friend I'd be able to pay to watch her.  The good daycares around here are in the $800 bracket too.  For ONE toddler.  I REALLY don't understand where parents paying support think they're paying sooo much.  My ex does it too.  He pays $558 a month and thinks he should only be paying $150!  Ridiculous!  OP, please, make your man accountable and protect his poor little girl!
 

 

post #48 of 55

I gotta call troll here. I do not want to believe that there is someone out there, a pregnant mother no less, who really doesn't know it's not OK for a father to abandon his child to her mother (who's not painted in a very positive light at all) and her *registered sex offender* boyfriend just to save 400 bucks! Plus, if you relinquish your rights, legally speaking, don't you still have pay child support? As in you can relinquish your rights, but not your responsibilities? And can't you only relinquish your rights if there's someone else to take them, ie an adoptive step-parent? 

 

Either that, or there is WAY more to this story. Visitation 4 times per year? And not in days or week, but 3 hours each time? That just doesn't sound right. I could see 4 times/year if you lived a long way away, but then, just for 3 hours? No. Doesn't add up.

post #49 of 55

They may be cute rolleyes.gif but you should never feed them.  It just keeps them coming back. winky.gif

post #50 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie Mac View Post

Either that, or there is WAY more to this story. Visitation 4 times per year? And not in days or week, but 3 hours each time? That just doesn't sound right. I could see 4 times/year if you lived a long way away, but then, just for 3 hours? No. Doesn't add up.

 

In the first post, the OP says "we live in michigan", but in her profile thing it says "military in alaska". So.... no idea where this person actually lives and where the child lives. I, too, don't see any court ordering 4 visits per YEAR, at only 3 hours each. That's just not likely. The OP still never answered a question posted up thread about what the actual court order states regarding visitation.

post #51 of 55
Thread Starter 

we have one and has had one since she was born.  We have told the right people about the sex offender and yet nothing has happened. Because the court won't physically go to the home and see the sex offender (registered in Kent County, he is a for sex offender) they won't take the baby away.   the Bio mom is very convincing lady..she has convinced everyone that she dumped him but we have seen him there lately.  The judge said that the parents could take care of this together, that they didn't need a court to tell them how to be parents but when obviously they don't get along a judge and court system should intervene and make a written thing for them. the biomom uses the child as a pawn if her game..getting whatever she wants in her expense. What more can we tell the court and judge other than we know for a fact that she has has a sexual relationship with a 17 year old in her home and her next boyfriend was a sex offender. How bad does she have to be for a good family like ours to have her..Kind of sad altogether

post #52 of 55

Call DSS. 

post #53 of 55

Giving up rights to a child isn't going to encourage the child to want anything to do with the parent later. There's no way to explain that. As for the money childcare costs are certainly more than $400 a month so even if she makes the same as your husband she is giving up tons of that in childcare costs alone just to be able to work. That doesn't include food, utilities, housing costs, clothes and anything else the child may need. Stating that she spends the money on other things is ridiculous. It doesn't matter where she is spending her money as long as the child is taken care. Not likely to get much encouragement to neglect the child especially if there is possible danger.

post #54 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leenikol87 View Post

we have one and has had one since she was born.  We have told the right people about the sex offender and yet nothing has happened. Because the court won't physically go to the home and see the sex offender (registered in Kent County, he is a for sex offender) they won't take the baby away.   the Bio mom is very convincing lady..she has convinced everyone that she dumped him but we have seen him there lately.  The judge said that the parents could take care of this together, that they didn't need a court to tell them how to be parents but when obviously they don't get along a judge and court system should intervene and make a written thing for them. the biomom uses the child as a pawn if her game..getting whatever she wants in her expense. What more can we tell the court and judge other than we know for a fact that she has has a sexual relationship with a 17 year old in her home and her next boyfriend was a sex offender. How bad does she have to be for a good family like ours to have her..Kind of sad altogether


can you answer the question about visitation being 4 times a year for 3 hours? That is a pretty bizarre thing if it is actually true, as others have pointed out here.

 

post #55 of 55
Thread Starter 

yes it's true..right now that is what the court ordered..four days a visitation , The first two days will always be one or two hours of supervised visits with the bio mom and my husband and the baby (i find that little weird bc she has made up lies bc there is no other person there) the next two days is four hours a day , the first hour is bio mom and dad and baby and then we take her for the rest of the three hours..

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