I'm so sorry. What terrible news. :(
Cramping and spotting - Page 2
Thank you for the hugs, thoughts and well wishes. I'm feeling pretty funky. I was up all night with irrational thoughts. My mind was going a bit crazy. I'm better today as far as not having strange thoughts. My hormones must be all over the place. I'm surrounded by friends and family who love me so I know I'll get through this. I feel better knowing that I knew from the get-go. I feel better knowing that I felt my baby's spirit leave me in a moving moment on Monday (though I tried hard to dismiss the experience). My HCG is at 1027 today so it's low. I have to retest tomorrow to make sure it's going down, otherwise, I'm supposed to go to get another US at a different facility to rule out ectopic. I'm sad that I most likely already passed my little embryo baby in its sac without even knowing it. It's possible that I passed it two days ago. I thought it was just discharge :( It literally looked like a big clump of chocolate pudding on the toilet paper. :( So sad, I flushed it. My midwife believes the baby stopped growing in the 7th week given my previous bloodwork and symptoms beginning to decrease in week 8.
Edited by Kindermama - 3/4/11 at 8:59am
Sorry to hear that. That has happened to me everytime I was pregnant. I have been pregnant 3 times before this (on my 4th right now) & that is how it always was with me. With my 3 pregnancies I would spot. Iwould wake up early in the morning with blood inbetween my thighs. Then I would go to the bathroom and everything came out...baby...placenta. it was hard..
But I hope everything is okay and just pray for everything to be okay. Have faith.
I can so relate to this experience as it's almost exactly what happened with my last loss-except I didn't know the baby wasn't even developing until an ultrasound. My heart aches for you-for your disappointment and the processing that will follow.
It's ok to say that sometimes Nature sucks. I (and many of the other women here) will be holding the space for you while you grieve.