Thinking about becoming a SAHM and I'm scared, excited, surprised... looking for guidance.

[Uroboros]

Hi Mommas~ I've been in the Mothering Community for some time, but have never started a thread, so forgive me if I don't have much of the lingo down.  I am 38, mother to a 3 1/2 year old son and 9 month old daughter.  After my son was born, I went back to work part-time after he was three months old.  I always thought I'd go back to work but when it came time to return (I'm a private practice therapist) I knew we weren't ready.  We made it work, though.  My husband works from home and either his mom would come help or we had a babysitter one half-day a week.  I took much longer off after my daughter was born, but after being back at work for about six months, I'm ready to pull the plug.  I'm working much less, but just feel like I don't want to anymore.  I feel scared of officially making the decision and of what it might be like to get back into work later.  I'm basically a full-time mom now who works out of the house two late afternoons a week and one weekend morning and I'm just kind of fried.  There's no left over time.  My husband is in support.  I guess I'm just looking for some other stories of taking that leap.  I truly feel like I'm standing on a ledge...

[ssh]

I was planning on going back to work full time after my DD was born. I got put on bed rest  5 weeks before I was planning on taking off and realized we could make it on one income. I haven't regretted staying home with DD. I do plan to go back to work once she's in school full time.

As long as you can make your budget work, you should do it. There's no reason to feel stressed if you don't have to.

[nktigger99]

Just try to follow your heart...a happy mom makes for happy kiddos.  I can understand your thoughts about returning to the workforce at a later time since in your profession I assume you need to do certain things to keep up and stay current...is there any way you could still do that while staying home full-time? That way you don't have to worry about jumping back into the work force when that times come. 

I think if your heart isn't in your work anymore and you don't have to do it for the money reason I would quit.  I always try to live by the saying my dad taught me...find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life..so if you aren't loving your job anymore maybe it is time to let it go until a later time. 

[insidevoice]

I made the leap a few months ago.  When I found myself resenting work- not because of the time I was away, but because with the added stress I wasn't being the parent I wanted to be for my kids. There was nothing huge and glaring that was wrong, it was just those moments of exhaustion sneaking in throughout my day.  

I am thrilled with the change for us, and when I consider returning to work, I realize that I will need to actively make a plan to do that- I will plan to start making inroads about 2 years before I want to return to work.

In your career field, there are a lot of openings, though private practice can be harder to do- if you are willing to consider community mental health, there are many opportunities, and you could then segue back to private practice.  Make sure to keep up with your continuing education requirements in the meantime. 

[Uroboros]

Thank you all for your replies!  They were very helpful in these last few days as my husband and I have made this big decision.  It's official now as I've begun the process of closing up shop.  I have to say, it's a strange and interesting place to be. I've been thinking about professional life since high school and decided early in college what I wanted to do.  And like many, spent the next large part of my life training, training, training to do what I do.  And then I became a mother, with complete intention and eagerness, but had not one ounce of training!  I thought I had, but really, I had no idea what I was doing! I feel so at peace with this decision and I already feel a calm settling over me and the house in general.  Like insidevoice said, there was no big problem necessarily, but I've been exhausted and frustrated with lack of time and lack of rhythm.

So, in a few months I'll be done.  I will definitely keep up with continuing ed requirements and general training to keep my license, but I look forward to having time to think creatively about my job and how I'll do it once I go back.  I'm also very, very grateful that my husband loves his job and is happy to carry the financial load. 

Feeling more and more peaceful...

[Ella Enchanted]

I was laid off a few summers ago and we saw it as a sign to go ahead with our plans to start a family.  To keep from the "what if I want to return to work later?" questions from happening, I started a small business I do from home.  I can work around my schedule.  I guess I'm a "work at home mom" now!  But it does keep me from feeling like I'm not contributing financially.

Once you're home full-time, you'll find that it's still hard.  It's tiring, there aren't breaks!  But you know what?  Once day they'll be out of the house, and these are days we wouldn't trade for the world.

[CrunchyMama74]

Just wanted to say that I'm so happy for you! I decided not to return to work after my daughter was born and I've never been happier. Glad to hear you followed your heart

[megannt]

Sounds like your heart was telling you to stay at home with your babies, good job of taking the scary leap and listening to it! Being a stay at home mom is isn't always rainbows and sunshine, but there are many, many moments through out my day that remind me why I am at home. I am sure you will start to experience those moments -- they always outweigh all the frustrations that come with being a SAHM. Another thing that will really help with the hard times of being a SAHM is building a good mommy community. There is play groups every where, joining one really helped me. I think that might be one of the harder things about your transistion is the lack of adult interaction. But, there are tons of mommys out there that will welcome you into their communities with open arms.