~~~~MARCH 2011 INFERTILITY ONE THREAD~~~~ - Page 3

[renavoo]

Hi ladies! Thanks for the advice Kaydove. I heard about the tea too. I must go find some. Do you know, I used to go to the gym 3 times a week but these days, it's more and more difficult to get the motivation to go. I feel like my motivation has been dipping as I keep stressing about TTC. I've already gained like 4 pounds! grrr. I must get better about it! This Wednesday will be CD10 and I'll be doing the sonogram to check on how I'm responding to clomid. I really hope I responded well and that my lining is better this time around!

Brichiole, congrats on your AF (never though I'd EVER say that on this forum!) and sorry about your schedule! :( Keep your chin up. hopefully, soon, your schedule can go back to normal!

Lydia, good luck with the SA results. I hope it turns out well and that this month is your month! And Zanelee, i'm sending good luck vibes out to you!!! Positive vibes for us all!!

[brichole1214]

Renavoo:  LOL thank you!!! You're right i think i'm the only person who wants AF to show up...but i had been waiting long enough w/o BF so i was like ok now you can start.  Well, now that she's here (TMI) she's so heavy that i can't get to the bathroom quick enough to change my stuff out and it's HORRIBLE!!!!  Plus i'm feeling really weak from the heavy flow and I don't know what I could take to help out in that area! 

This work stuff is taking it's toll on me!!! as of 630 this morning when my relief gets here I will have put in 20 EXTRA hours this week....that is just CRAZY!!! I'm not happy about missing out on time with my family and it's making me feel really depressed...and the thought that i'm going to have to drive home this morning is worse lol...because i have a 25-30 minute drive to the house from work and i just don't know if my body is going to work with me long enough to do that.  I got up yesterday (sunday) at 8am and i won't be in my bed until about 700 or 730 this morning.  this is the second time in a week that i've stayed up this long and it's going to kill me one day if i don't start getting real sleep!!!!  If i didn't need this money for my down payment on my house that i'm having to come up with on my own now because my DH's aunt backed out on us at last minute I wouldn't be here as much as I have been.  My grandparents are so mad that i've had to go back to 3rd shift but i was the low man on 1st shift so it's not like i had a choice in the matter when they fired a girl on my birthday last month and then 2 other women are out on medical leave.  The money looks great but sleep would be even better!!

Sorry for so much negativity in this...i'm having a very down day!!!

[jenger]

Hi Ladies-

Things are moving along - I have started my letrozole/femara... With estrodial for thickening lining... My period was seriously 1 and a half days with the 100mg clomid dose!  Good thing I am moving to letrozole.  I have a better feeling about it.  Last month I started an infertility blog... I haven't given a single soul the link. But now I am going to put it here...

http://beingbarren.wordpress.com/
 

Crazy me...

My RE's office said it was sort of normal to have a 19/20 day af with clomid.  Arg.

Originally Posted by Kaydove 

Try drinking 2-3 cups of Red Raspberry Leaf tea daily. I just got my Rx for clomid 50 mg, and I'm going to ask my ND for natural ways of thickening the lining. She did say that baby aspirin helps, and I've heard that RRL tea helps as well. I'll let you know if she suggests anything else. Daily cardio exercise is supposed to help with blood flow to the uterus. Cardio can be a daily 30 min brisk walk. I'm horrible about exercising daily, but I need to start, it makes me feel better anyways.

I've also heard acupuncture can help. I was thinking about seeing an acupuncturist for my TMJ (grinding my teeth), so I might ask about using it to help with TTC.

Good luck!

Well, I will include aspirin, and be better about my rrl tea.  I usually have women's toner, which has rrl.  I love acupuncture, but need a little break, concerned about cost and the fact that my acupuncturist a good friend.
 

Originally Posted by brichole1214 

Good morning ladies!  I HATE this flip flop in shifts! I'm on day shift on Saturdays now but 3rd shift Sunday thru Thursday off on fridays then my week starts over again.  That's really going to be a hard thing to deal with starting temping but I've gotta do what i've gotta do. 

speaking of getting to temp.......::::DRUMROLL PLEASE::::: lol  AF showed up!!! YAY!! I'm on CD1 and I don't believe i've ever been this excited about it lol. 

Oh Bricole!  I am so sorry about your crazy work schedule,  that sucks.  And congratulations on your cycle return!

Originally Posted by renavoo 

Hey Jenger, I have a 2.5 day AF now too! And it's very light. I asked the doctor about it and they didn't think that this was a big issue because of clomid. However, that's why they dropped the dose for me. I hope you have luck with building your lining! Hopefully the femara doesn't affect your lining; it's not supposed to anyway! Are you being followed by ultrasound? I'm going at CD10 to get tested and then they said they will decide whether I need estrogen. I personally think that this is too late because seriously, so far, on clomid, my follicles were ready by day 11 (day 9 the last cycle). Hopefully, lower dose means I'll have a longer phase for follicular maturation.

Thanks for asking renavoo!  Mine has always been 2.5 days - even before my easily conceived daughter... We live really far away from (anything) the RE's office and don't have a ton of cash, so we are not going to be monitored... I get 2 or 3 more chances, then we will have to be...  I think I could probably use a lower dose, however, as my diagnositics indicate that I am likely to hyper stimulate... (high amh)

Originally Posted by SimplyRochelle 

Well now we're back to just waiting around. DH gave his specimen for his SA yesterday (and made me laugh so hard when he was describing the entire experience and environment that I almost peed my pants!!!) and I had a transvaginal u/s this morning. I was told they'll call sometime by next Friday with results from both of them and then we'll decide when we to come back in.

I'm 8dpo today and I keep hoping that we just spent all that money for nothing and that I'm already miraculously, inconveniently pregnant and all of these results will be unneeded. But I know better after all this time than to hold my breath or put any kind of faith in that actually happening. I just keep hoping that these tests show something because I just can't handle a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. If this OB can't help us, our only other options are to either drive 3.5 hours each way to the closest RE or wait until June 2012 when we actually move closer to the RE. Something in my gut says it's my hubby but maybe that's just my body desperately clinging to some bit of normalcy.

Hopefully next week we'll find out something!

Oh Rochelle, I hope you get the news you want!  I am thinking of you!  We have to go really far for our RE too, and they make exception for us - getting blood draws in out own town, etc. (Which can be hard, cause in this little tourist town of 9,000, the receptionist knows your husband from work, and soon everyone knows your business...)

[blueyezz4]

Jenger - Loved the blog!!!  I feel like I could be your twin in a way except for the fact that I don't even have one child yet.  I totally hear you when you talk about how TV is a good way to escape your own life, being a "failure" b/c you can't even produce a child, and I also have the dreaded thyroid issues.  Aghhhh!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!  Anyways, just wanted to send you a .  I didn't look back, but I'm sure you said before, but are you just doing the drugs w/ an IUI or just TTC w/ the drugs naturally??  Good luck to you!!

Brichole - Wow!!  I sure hope you can get back to a normal work schedule!!!  Yeah for AF!!  I've got her as well and will hopefully be having my first U/S on Thurs just as a baseline.  We will see.

[MountainMamaGC]

I am still showing fertile signs, really fertile signs. Lots of EWCM, and a super high open cervix. Ugh, I knew I was going to O late this cycle. Now DH may work overtime today, and he is not going to want to BD. Tomorrow he is working 16 hours, and he is not going to want to BD then either.  I just better O today, and then none of this will matter.

[zanelee]

I'm out. :(

AF showed up yesterday.

I have a question, and please any and everyone feel free to chime in with your thoughts...

Since my surgery (to remove endo from my abdomen), I have 1 month that my period is tolerable. (Pain wise) Then the next month, it's awful! Like having labor pains for 2 days...just no precious child at the end of it. The flow does seem to be heavier during the more painful periods...

What do you think is causing this? Anything to do about it? Or if it may be affected my fertility? (or lack thereof, right now)

Thanks ya'll!

[jenger]

Bluezz, I'm glad you like it!  It feels good to write all that dark stuff down...

Lyndiah - BD like a crazy lady! (Good luck getting your man to join you!)

zanelee - Hugs

AFM- Day 3 of femara, and I cried when DH insinuated that the lunches I lovingly prepare for my preschooler weren't healthy enough. 

[SimplyRochelle]

I'm still waiting on DH's results from this SA but they called to tell me that my ultrasound was 100% completely normal. All that means is no fibroids, no PCOS, no uterine abnormalities.

I was hoping for more of an answer. The nurse said on the phone that the doctor said "to just keep trying" which was super discouraging. I felt like he was shutting me down from even scheduling another appointment. He didn't do blood work or anything. I only had a 10 day LP this cycle so I'd love a progesterone draw. This period and the one last month are almost back to the pain level I had before my miscarriage so I really wish he would do a lap to rule out endometriosis. I mean, is it really considered normal to have cramps that feel like someone is trying to pull your bowels through your belly button that bring you to your knees and make you vomit from the pain? Ummm, probably  not.

It doesn't look like the doc will be calling me back today to let me know about the SA results so I guess I'll just call again tomorrow. What's generally the next step if we find we are dealing with severe MFI? We definitely can't afford IVF for at least 2 years. Does IUI help all that much if you're just putting crappy sperm up there? I don't think DH will be on board with a donor but who knows. All this worrying could be for nothing which will just put us back to knowing absolutely nothing. Ugh. Just a down day.

[MountainMamaGC]

We had our appointment this morning. It made my DH's day to hear that "The results were beautiful." as the doctor put it. He said "Excuse me, did you just day my sperm was beautiful?! ALRIGHT!" lol. So yeah, their cut off for count was 20 mil, and his count was 50 mil. His motility and morphology was good too. His volume beat the range of 1-5 ml. It was 6. lol. So it was a good day for DH.

I asked her about anti thyroid antibodies, and she agreed to test those, so we will have one more piece of my puzzle to give to the specialist. She said she would request that I get in sooner as well, if possible. She said they were very backed up because that town lost one of their OB/GYNs.

She did a prenatal workup and said that, I am still immune to Rubella and Chicken Pox. Thats good, because I have been on so many immunosupressing drugs, that I was worried I lost the immunity.

I finally ovulated last night. We also got our BDing in last night too. I was getting a little concerned, but it finally happened. It was a really sharp O pain. I took a tylenol to dull it so I could sleep. I feel better this morning. My CM and cervix are no longer fertile. I think its safe to say I am now in the 2WW. I have a good feeling about it all.

ETA: I did the math. With 50 million sperm per ml, and 6 ml total that is about 300 million sperm. Crazy! No wonder he has knocked me up so many times.

Rochelle: All my tests have come back normal so far too. It is discouraging in a way. It means I have no idea why I had 4 losses. IUI can help with a low sperm count because the sperm have less distance to get lost in.

[SimplyRochelle]

I won't have specifics until I stop by tomorrow to get myself a personal copy of the results but according to the nurse DH's results all fell well within the normal range.

They wrote me a script for 3 months worth of Clomid and told me to come back if I'm not pregnant then. I feel so defeated and shot down even though I know the news is good so far.

I'm so incredibly torn. Do I wait and take it when the due date would be after graduation or do I just go for it now since I don't have much faith in it anyway? I think my DH still thinks the results were somehow wrong because he was just so convinced that the issue would be with him. I just feel like my insides are in knots right now. Today is CD 3 so I could go pick up the prescription in the morning and just start it tomorrow. I could some how, miraculously end up pregnant. I could make it all the way through a pregnancy and actually get a baby this December. If I fulfill my position as VP of the nurses association and start back to school at the end of January with a baby just a few weeks old. I think I would push myself and try to finish out my last semester. But my heart knows this will have some sort of effect on my relationship with my baby, those first few precious months, my sanity, my breastfeeding relationship, etc... DH seems to think we could do it. He works 11pm-7am so we'd both be super sleep deprived but we'd manage. Then again, after 3+ years of heart ache and waiting, the thought of putting this all on hold for another 6 months breaks my heart.

I just wish someone else could make this decision for me.  Of course, I need to decide soon, preferably within the next 24 hours and then next month, I'd have to re-evaluate all over again to decide whether or not to wait then. I'm just so confused.

[brichole1214]

Jenger:  The one thing i did like about taking Clomid and Femera is the fact that they took my period from lasting 7-14 days to only lasting 3-4 days!!! It was wonderful!  I'm sure i'm about to pay for it being so good though.  I have started charting this cycle and let me tell ya lol my chart looks sooooo funny!  Here it is http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/158654  .    My temps are all over the place because of my WONDERFUL sleep schedule!!!

Blueyezz: HUGS!!! Sorry for AF showing up.  I hope that you get your U/S this thursday though!!! What are your plans for this cycle?

Zanelee: HUGS TO YOU TOO!!! AF is so evil!!!!  GRRRRRR

SimplyRochelle:  YAY for the 100% clear but boo for the fact that your doctor is dismissing you like he is...it's making me mad just thinking about it!!!  I'm sorry about your pain too.  My periods use to be that painful and eventually they have gotten better over time...though I had to take Naproxen for SEVERAL years just to make it through the pain!!!!  About the do i take it now or wait with the Clomid...this is my opinion.  I think that you should go ahead and start taking it.  When me and DH 1st started TTC my DD#2 we had talked about wanting to avoid getting pregnant in March, April, or May because of DD#1's birthday being December 14th and it being so tough trying to celebrate her birthday and have christmas within 10-11 days of each other.  But then as the years went on and we weren't getting pregnant I finally said FORGET IT!!! I'll take what i can get.  Once we started doing fertility treatments we realized that we wouldn't really have a say in when I would ovulate because i had to "grow" my follicles first...so just so happen after our 3rd round of medication (which actually took 6 more months because my cycles were 45 days long at least) we finally got pregnant....and it put my due date on DD#1's 7th birthday.....and Emma showed up 8 days early on December 6th.  I wouldn't have it any other way....other than the fact that I wish that there wasn't 7 years in between having them.  I PRAY that all of this works for you.  I have only been a part of these boards since December 2009 but I have sit back and seen you go through so much month by month and I hope that this helps you!!!!!

Lydiah: Congrats on the good news about DH's SA and on getting your BDing in! I hope you're able to get in to see the doc again soon to finish your testing.  My fingers are crossed for you during this 2ww!!!!!

[LuluRoo]

Can I please be added to this list?  Thanks!   

Name:  LuluRoo

Age: 28

TTC#:  1

CD: ?

DPO:  a bazillion?

Testing:  Nope.

Trying Since:  March 2011.  (Previously tried a few years ago, diagnosed as annovulatory, CCCT all of that done, just been waiting for the "right" time to start trying again).

Plan for this Cycle:  DH and I are attending our first appointment with Dr. on March 29th to start Clomid.  I am also starting acupuncture on March 26th.  Strangely, I'm more excited about starting the acupuncture than the Clomid...

Link to Chart (if applicable):  n/a

Thoughts:  Unsure...I feel like I'm starting on a journey that could be wonderful and could be heartbreaking.  As much as the Dr seems confidant that I'm a good candidate for Clomid and that my issues are addressable, I know enough to know that we don't know enough yet.  I feel like I have 2 weeks to "get ready" to start TTC, so I'm taking vitamins, working out, eating healthy, tring not to drink (too much), etc. 

You ladies are amazing.  I have been lurking for awhile and it is to nice to know that I'm not going through this alone.

LuluRoo

[renavoo]

Hi Ladies!

SimplyRochelle, I think you should just go for it. I know I wish that I started TTC when I started to feel the urge, instead of talking myself out of it and saying that it was not the right time to get pregnant. Now, I'm having so much trouble that I kick myself mentally when I think about those wasted months.

LuLu Roo, Welcome!! It seems like you're not being followed while on Clomid. Did you consider having your doctor do some sonograms on you to make sure your eggs are developing, you're ovulating and that your lining remains healthy? I'm on my third cycle of clomid (CD10 today) and I just had a sonogram this morning. I had bad news though- my lining is still really thin (only about 4mm) and my RE wants to give me a shot of hcg tomorrow. I'm considering asking if we can push it off until Friday so I can give my lining a couple of more days to grow. She says I have three follicles but seriously, I'm not optimistic if my lining is so thin. *shaking head* Sigh, this is so discouraging! She wants to go ahead with the IUI though because she says that she's seen pregnancies even with thin linings. Of course, at around $400 dollars for each IUI, I'd really prefer a higher chance!!

Lydiah, good luck in this 2WW!!!! I'm rooting for you! It'll be great to get some good news on this forum!

[LuluRoo]

Renavoo - that's a really good question! To be honest, I'm not exactly sure at this point what type of ongoing following I am going to do. We started going down this road about 3 years ago when I decided to hold off for awhile because I was starting a new job, DH had knee surgery, we bought a house, etc., so I'm really just now getting back into the groove of TTC and all of the issues that go along with it in some circumstances. I'd like to be as prepared as possible so that I know what to look for/ask for when I go in for my appointment. Have you done sonograms for all 3 of your cycles? I'm a total newbie at all of this, so it is so helpful to hear about your experiences. That's tough news about your lining being thin but congrats on the three follicles! - I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

SimplyRochelle - It is such a tough decision, isn't it? In a perfect world where I got to plan everything and timing was ideal, I'd like to get pregnant about 3-4 months from now. That said, I've decided to go with the "urge" like Renavoo said above. Maybe its our mother's instinct telling us, who knows... That said, while I've been waiting to try I took some comfort in actively "preparing" - trying to get healthy, organize my life (ha!), nesting like crazy, etc....it's not much, but at least it made me feel like I was doing something proactive, you know?

Lydiah - I'll be rooting for you during your 2WW!!!

[LuluRoo]

One thing I forgot to add - I have not (that I know of) ovulated in years but for some reason I feel like I did this month.  This past Friday and Saturday I was so weepy and emotional, crying at the drop of a hat (sooo not me) and my sister says "what is wrong with you?  you must be ovulating." ha!  After all this, wouldn't that be something?  Today - 5 days after my weepy eposide - I'm feeling really crampy and strange.  That said, I was at a protest rally in Madison, WI all day Saturday, so that could have had something to do with being emotional/weepy, too...hmmm...interesting things our bodies do to us!

[MountainMamaGC]

Welcom LuluRoo. I hope you did ovulate!

I think Rochelle should just go for it too!

2 DPO and I am already moody.

[jenger]

Hiya Ladies!

Welcome LuluRoo!

I am sensitive and weepy too, but I attribute that to the femara and estradiol I am on.  I actually think its more the estradiol (That I am taking along with femara to increase my lining)

I am in better emotional shape than last month on clomid...

And Renavoo, I am totally unmonitored, which I am A-OK with.  I am working quite a bit less, and DH and I both have non profit jobs that we feel good about (read: however well educated and capable, aren't raking in the cash). 

Rochelle - Let me second the others - Go for it!  There is NEVER a perfect time, and you would finish school.  Sure, you might find yourself pumping in the bathroom (Though I believe you should be furnished a comfortable space to pump!) and your DH might bring you your baby between class, and that might be difficult, BUT there is ALWAYS going to be some thing that makes it a little difficult.  And you have been trying long enough.  Do it, sweetie!

AFM - Jacked up on fertility drugs (albeit, mild ones...)  cd 7 or 8.  Weepy.

[julieven]

I would like to join in too...

Name: julieven
Age: 33
TTC #: 2
Trying Since: December 2009
Plan for this Cycle: wait
Thoughts: I am waiting for day 1 of my next cycle to get a FET cycle going. I had a successful IVF in Septmeber, but had a missed miscarriage @ 12 weeks. I am having a hard time dealing with the possibility that this upcoming FET won't repeat this horrible experience. Everything went perfect, three perfect ultrasounds, excellent labs, then no heartbeat at the first released to OB appointment the day before Thanksgiving, then a D&C the day after Thanksgiving. Having to untell my 4 1/2 year old daughter after just a few days of telling her she was finally going to be a big sister was so heartbreaking.

How does everyone else deal with the heartbreak?

I don't think I will ever approach TTC the same again. I am no longer trying to get pregnant, I am trying to have a full-term, healthy baby. The anxiety is so much worse this time preparing for this FET then it was for the IVF.
 

[brichole1214]

Welcome LuluRoo and julieven!!! I have added you to the lists on the front page and if there is anything you would like me to change or add just bold it and i'll get it changed :)  I am sorry for the trials each of you ladies have faced but we are all here to help you thru your journies in TTC!  I really pray that you're stay here is short!  I work night shift right now so I'm not able to get to a computer to update until later in the day or really really early in the morning so don't think i'm ignoring anyone :)  I'm just going to be a little slower at getting to things some days!  I only have 1 day off a week so fridays it will take me until at least 7 am to get things answered, changed or commented on but I want all of you ladies to know that I do read EVERY SINGLE post on here and I try my best to comment as often as possible.  I know that me and DH are not going to start trying again until September or whatever, but i'm going to hang here as long as you ladies will allow me to!!!!  : )

[SimplyRochelle]

Well ladies, I went for it. Took the first pill last night. Woke up with a killer headache, but s/e mean it's doing something already, right? Spent the day packing for the 7 day road trip we're leaving on tomorrow and now I'm just crossing my fingers that #1, I won't O super crazy early and have to bd in our teeny tiny car and #2 that I'm not a hormonal mess the entire time. We're not really telling anyone IRL and I'm not even planning on putting it on my blog so MDC is going to be my refuge over this next crazy month. I'm going to start temping again starting tomorrow as well, but we'll see how that goes while being on the road and at multiple different houses. At least I'll have opk's to go off of too.

Thanks for the push! I needed it!