food allergies and co-op schools

[Spring Lily]

In most preschools, the teachers take food allergies, intolerances, and special diets very seriously.

We're in a co-op preschool which means that it's the parents who are involved in giving out the food. I've been noticing a wide range of parents support in dietary restrictions. Some seem to brush it off with the attitude of "if there's a mistake, too bad, the parents will never know anyway." A handful of people there seem to have the idea that I'm simply being overly picky by not allowing her to eat certain foods. (ETA: many of the parents are very careful and supportive, too)

I'm lucky in that my daughter does not have a true allergic, immune response, but her intolerances are real and put her in true pain. Some of the kids who have nut allergies are lucky because there are no nuts allowed at school at all.

My question is, do we just happen to have some parents at our school who are ignorant and judgmental or is this a widespread co-op issue?

If it's a widespread problem, how can parents whose children have true allergies risk putting their kids in coops?

[scsigrl]

It happens in schools, churches, between ex's, with in-laws and grandparents.  Many many people just don't get it.  It is frustrating and makes trusting people with a truly food allergic child a scary thing.

In DS's school (he just started on Monday) he takes a snack I pack.  That is ALL he is allowed to eat.  His teachers and the aide know this.  If a child has a true allergy (ie risk of an ana reaction) I think people tend to take it a little more seriously.  Not all, but some.  Also, DS's teacher has many of the same allergies DS does so I KNOW she gets it.

So no, not an isolated thing with your group.  All any of us can do is try and educate those people.  Many don't get it and are willing to try a little harder if you try and explain to them the issue.  There are those who still won't care and it's sad.

[kjbrown92]

At our coop, the food had to be signed up two days in advance. And there was a checkmark next to the sign-in each day where you said what was safe for your child. My dd2 had lots of intolerances, and they hung her chart in their office that listed all of her foods. Unless I said specifically that she could have something, they wouldn't give it to her. Some parents would ask me what she could have so that she could have at least one of the things brought in that day, others couldn't be bothered. And for me, I brought her snack in every day. She always sat on the end so they could keep an eye on her. There was a no-sharing rule but they just wanted to be sure. I would always wait until the snack person came in, just in case they changed what they had written down, and checked all the ingredients. There was another little boy in the class with just gluten sensitivity and they knew that if my dd2 could have something then he could too (and his mother trusted me to check). She would also let her son have anything that I made, and a lot of times if I was making something special like cookies, I'd send in a couple for him as well. People who know it firsthand are much more empathetic. If there anaphylactic allergies, they ban that food from the school (like tree nuts or peanuts) for the years that a child is there, just because of cross contamination issues with toys, etc. With intolerances, they still are careful but they don't ban the foods (if they had to ban all the foods that my dd2 couldn't have, the parents would have mutinied). It's very difficult. And elementary schools are even more fun. Some parents don't trust schools and food when they have kids with food issues, and they end up homeschooling them. My DS is 10yo and I've had some teachers who've been great, others not so great.

[LovnMyBoys]

Our co-op nursery school is great.  All  of the parents have been very careful.  Ds2 only has about 9 safe foods so we provide the snacks for him.  Some parents have gone as far as to ask prior to their assigned snack day if there is anything they could bring for everyone that is safe for him.  We usually check in with the snack parent at drop off and put his snack out and let them know if there is anything safe in the days snack for him (usually a single fruit).  They will  then prepare a plate for him with a clean knife etc.  Even being 3 ds knows what is safe.  They have his picture posted in the kitchen indicating we are to provide and approve all snacks.  His allergies are non-IGE.

Ds1's school experience has been another story.