What is your ideal combination of work/home?

[bluedaisy]

In a perfect world, what would be your ideal combination of work/home responsibilities?

Another thread in Working and student moms made me curious to know what moms would choose if their circumstances enabled them to have complete freedom in deciding whether to work, how much to work, and how much to be home.

This is not meant to be a debate about which one is "best" or "most AP" or anything but just what is your personal preference.

[Llyra]

I wouldn't want to just "stay at home," not past when my kids were very young. (With infants and toddlers, no work at all would be my preferred choice.) I like what I'm doing now-- I work 8 to 10 hours outside the home, at a job that's very fulfilling but doesn't put any demands on my attention once I leave the office. I also work at home, doing work that used to be a hobby. That's more hours-- probably nearly full-time-- but I do it in odd moments and odd hours. And it is conducive to multi-tasking, so I have plenty of attention for the kiddies. I prefer to be busy, but to have most of that busy-ness be at home.

[Snowflake777]

Depends on the age of my kids. The first 18-24 months (or until my child seems ready for daycare), I'd prefer to SAH. After that, I'd prefer to WOH part or full-time.

[One_Girl]

In the ideal world I would love to be able to work part-time out of the house and have hours that are compatible with raising a child.

[MJB]

In an ideal world I'd stay home the first 6-12 months and then work (out of the home) part-time. I'd like to work 10-20 hours a week for the toddler and preschool years and 30-35 hours a week once the kids are all in full-day school. 

I have no interest in working at home ever. 

[starling&diesel]

I work 2-3 three days a week, which would be great except that my shifts are super long (12+ hours), and I never work two days in a row.  I was at home with dd for the first year.  That's the status quo in Canada, what with year-long Parental Leave.  I'd like to keep doing this.  I like getting out and flexing my professional skills (paramedic) and doing challenging things that are not kid-oriented. 

[velochic]

I pretty much have my ideal situation.  I had my career and was successful for 13 years, got married late and had a baby in my 30's.  I quit my job and stayed home with her until she went to school.  I now work very part-time.  15 hours/week and it's not what I used to do (computer programmer/analyst) but rather fulfilling (writing-oriented) and very flexible.  We don't need the money so I have no pressure to keep the job.  That makes it a very pleasurable job in and of itself.

So my ideal combination was/is to SAH until the child (we have an only by choice) goes to school and then to have a part-time enough of a job to keep it from interfering with home life after that.  I'm very committed to keeping a tidy home and cooking everything from scratch, and those things take time at home.  Me staying home as much as I do keeps us all sane.  (Oh, and my mother lives with us, so I have some elder care responsibilities, too.)

[sewchris2642]

I started out woh ft with Joy.  Went to woh pt with Erica and the sah ft by the time she was 6 months old.  Went to wah pt after Angela was born.  Went back to woh ft when Erica was in 6th grade.  When Dylan was 3, added wah pt to my ft woh job.  Then moved my woh job to pt last year when Dylan went to a home school/classroom schedule.  Last summer, I finally quit my woh job and went ft with my wah job.  I've loved all my jobs and each situation was the best at the time.  When it stopped being the best, I worked on changing it.

[mommariffic]

I sort of my ideal situation now

I'm a post partum doula and I freelance write with a very, very flexible schedule. So I basically work/arrange help around the hours we are homeschooling or going on adventures and it's working really well. Some of my doula hours are in the evening and I'm not sure whether I like it or not because I essentially miss dinner  ( I make sure I'm home for bed time always..) but I'll also admit it's nice to get out at night. Windows down, breeze in my hair as I drive and all that -- plus I get to miss the cranky part of the day! 

I honestly wish I could work on my writing and doula-ing without guilt though, that's my "dream.." I love what I do, and I love the way I parent but sometimes I do feel that nagging feeling that I shouldn't miss dinner time once a week, or that I should be doing more around the home, or in our learning..I don't understand where this comes from but I'm happy to blame society :) 

[limabean]

I'm grateful for the way things are now (I WAH full time), but it's hard. I think ideally I would choose to WOH part-time, when DH was home to be with the kids. 

[crunchy_mommy]

I thought my current situation would be ideal but it turns out it's not (for me)... I worked at home full-time until DS was 1, I wish I was part-time then. I now WAH part-time (20 hours/week) and I wish I could 'just' be a stay-at-home mom. I think part of it is that I've hated my job since even before I switched from the office to home... maybe if I had a job I liked, I'd enjoy WAH part-time. But either way, it's stressful, I don't have childcare so I am basically doing 2 jobs at once.

I'm hoping to homeschool and REALLY hoping that I can be a SAHM rather than WAHM by the time DS reaches school age.

The irony in it all is that I always pictured myself WOH (with DS at daycare or home with DH) but as soon as he was born, the idea of working outside the home was unimaginable to me.

[Peony]

I'm happy with the way things are now. I work very part time, could be 9 hours a month or 9 hours a week, it very rarely is more then that. I am mostly always with my kids now, part time child care like that is soo hard to find and the biggest frustration for me about working. I have multiple small children still and when they are all older and in school I would want to work more, not full time, I still like being there to pick them up from school and help out in the classroom. 

[Skippy918]

I would either WOH or WAH part-time with enough hours to keep the health benefits.  I wish that most companies that had this option would advertise it and that if an employee asks for it, it wouldn't be frowned upon.  Now when the kids get to school age, having a job that coincides with the school calendar and day would be nice.  I think it would be nice to have the summer off with the kids.

[AllisonR]

Great thread. My ideal would be working outside the home about 20 hours a week - at a job I love. Or at least like most of the time and am passionate about. That's actually my problem now, as my job is continuously stressful and I'm not in love with it. But I used to have a fab job, so I know what I am missing, which I suppose makes it worse. As a compromise, I cut my hours from 40 to 30, which gives me 1 day off a week. But it isn't ideal. I still want less hours, or a better job. 

[MadHghtsMama]

I have my ideal for now. I work out of the home about 19 hours a week. My kids love going to stay with my family while I work and I like getting out of the house some. Now Im pregnant so I would like to stay at home for 1-2 years like I did the first two times around. Im not sure if that will still be financially possible once this baby comes though but we'll see.

[sweetcheeks]

My working situation right now is pretty ideal for me/us. I work about 20-25 hrs/week (evenings and weekends) and over school breaks, when the kids go visit their grandparents, I pick up more hours. It works out great... I started this job back in September, after being a FT SAHM for over 6 years. It was the perfect time for me to go back, our youngest entered the preschooler stage and our older 2 are school age. I was feeling the itch to do "something" aside from mothering and this opportunity (bookkeeping) came up. It also allowed DH to quit his 2nd job and now he has more time at home with the kids. It's a win-win for both of us.

I'm actually looking at going back to work FT this fall but not at the place I'm currently at... I *love* the work I do but the work environment leaves a lot to be desired (a lot of backstabbing and manipulation... overall, a toxic work environment). I'm hoping to find something that's more the typical M-F, 8-4 kind of thing in the fall, when DD starts Grade 1 and is in school all day, every day.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

My perfect combination would be--be able to go in around 8 am and get my work done (or bring it home as needed) and do my meetings.  Then be home at noon so I could get my house straight, volunteer at my children's schools, and be able to take the toddler to mommy and me playgroup in the middle of the work-day.  Whichever I felt like that day--or had scheduled.  Then I'd do my workout.  Then go back to the office or work at home to get a few more things done.  Honestly, if I'm done with my work at 2, why do I have to hang out until 5?  And I'm more "on" first thing in the morning.  By the time my duty day begins, my "best" brain-hours are about over.

[ShadowMoon]

Originally Posted by One_Girl 

In the ideal world I would love to be able to work part-time out of the house and have hours that are compatible with raising a child.

Same here.

[Storm Bride]

I'm still deciding what to vote. In some ways, my ideal situation is what I've got, which is being a SAHM. But, I'm starting to think I may want to WAH part-time (very part-time) at some point, if I can find some kind of work that suits both me and that situation. I was a full-time WOHM for 10 years, and I hated it.

[Drummer's Wife]

I''ve been a SAHM for 10 years, and now that my kids are all in school I think I'd be happy with a very part-time job at this point.  I actually think I am going to start applying sometime in the next few months for something, b/c it might just be good for me to get some recent experience.  I am also a full-time college student, so that is why I wouldn't work full-time, even with my kids gone during the day. 

I guess for me, ideally, I wouldn't choose to work at all during the first year or two.  After that, part-time, depending on the job, I could see making me happy and fulfilled.