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The child forgets school supplies and duties

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

This is a very common occurance, not only with pupils but also with high school students. Unfortunately, it will continue even when the children grow up and get a job. This behavior can get them poor grades in school, and, later, poor results at work and in life.

     We need to teach children the responsible attitude towards everything concerning their obligations.

     Let’s start with early childhood.

    After the play time, we’ll pick the toys and place them in the proper place. We could teach the child to list the toys he/she played with, to look for them and put them away. Before we go out with our child, to visits, on trips, to school, we could talk with the child about the clothes to wear, and then prepare it. We will start with underwear, socks, in the order in which children dress, the shoes and bags with toys. Together, we will take items, check them and leave them prepared until it’s time to leave. On the way back, we will encourage the child to list the things he/she carried with him/her, and check if everything is still there. 

 When the child goes to school, instead of toys ,we will pack school supplies . No matter if the child goes to school in the morning or in the afternoon, the night before ,we will prepare the clothing, home key,  the money, if necessary, and then move on to the books, notebooks and other school supplies. We will read a timetable and prepare the books subject by subject. Very quickly, especially if child has done the same during the preschool period, the child will begin to prepare things whitout any help, all we have to do is clean and press the clothes.

    Upon arrivingt from school,we talk to our child about every lesson of the day, about how the it went, new lessons and homework. The child should immediately learn new lessons and do homework, if ther is no time, make a list of obligations.

    If our child started high school with a habit of forgetting to carry the necessary supplies or do homework, no big deal. Let’s start from scratch, from preparing to go out, going to the visit, the obligations of home to school obligations.

     We will probably meet with resistance of a big child, but let’s be persistent. Of course it is not necessary to prepare things nor to do the homework together, but we need to explain how a systematic approach is important and how it protects us from the unpleasant and sometimes, dangerous mistakes. We can make a plan together to change bad habits and monitor fulfillment of the plan. Sometimes it is necessary to explicitly require a change of behavior.

     If we, the parents, approach systematically the problem, our children will, as well, begin to have a systematic approach to their obligations.

 

It is the parent’s behavior that is bringing up the children. 

post #2 of 8

I see your point.  But, I think everybody forgets what they need.  My daycare parents forget to bring diapers that I asked for, My husband forgets to bring his cell phone.  (I forget nearly everything.. even if I write it down)

 

You start out doing everything for your kids.  You run the bath, tell them to get in..but, when they are older, you tell them to take a bath... when they  are teenagers, you hope they take a bath.  But, if they don't, you allow natural consequences to take over. 

 

When they are in 2nd grade, if they forgot their lunch, you'd probably run it up to the school.  But, by 5th grade, you hope they will just eat what the school is serving that day... in high school, you just ask if they need money, or are they going to make a lunch.. in college, you hope they eat something besides pizza every day.  

 

In other words, you do your best, but eventually they have to learn everything the hard way.

post #3 of 8

i think forgetfullness is a sign of our times. 

 

there is sooooo much information around us. there is so much to remember. i feel we focus too much on remembering. 

 

i think there is something to learn the art of forgetting. it would do my dd good to learn what to forget - rather than focus on remembering. 

post #4 of 8

I could never live our lives like that.

post #5 of 8

I think it really depends on your personality.  Some people would thrive with that structure, some would feel stifled.  I have had to set up systems to help me remember things because I am otherwise always forgetting everything! 

 

Welcome to MDC.

 

Tjej

post #6 of 8

If you really believe that, OP, I've got a bridge for sale.winky.gif

 

Truth is, everyone forgets.  People have bad days.  Things don't get done.  We get distracted.  You cannot have a regimented life every.single.day.  Sure, I agree that it's our job as parents to teach responsibility, and leading by example is the single most effective teaching tool... but nobody's perfect.  And that's not everyone's personality, either (um, pressing clothes??  Seriously???  I'm a neat freak and I don't press clothes!)  It takes all kinds to make the world interesting.  Attachment parenting isn't about turning your home life into the military.  It's about meeting children's needs... and each child has different needs.  Where your suggestions might work for one child, it could totally blow up in your face for another.

post #7 of 8

This seems like an odd post for a 1st post here.

post #8 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by babymommy2 View Post

This seems like an odd post for a 1st post here.



Ah, good catch.  I didn't notice.

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