DD was born almost 2 years ago but I might be preggo again (too soon for pee-stick party) and it has got me thinking a lot about my birth with DD.
I won't recount the whole experience but what I am looking for is basically opinions about whether you feel what I describe below was a bit more "medicalized (is that a real word?)" than necessary?!
I had a 40 hour labor...Very exhausting but totally unmedicated in any way until after DD came out. More on that later.
So I really really loved my CNM. She is greatly experienced and extremely well respected in the area we live. I actually found her here in my tribal area. Very very laid back woman, seen it all and I feel like her BP has never risen an inch even a stressful situation. Just an extremely calming presence and I found that she helped me immensely in labor that way. There were a couple times I panicked a little bit (first baby and all) and just here mere presence would immediately calm me down and allow me to concentrate on laboring. She literally could just touch my arm and my breathing would slow and I would be able to get through a ctx calmly and quietly (not that it matters how loud I was, she was encouraging me to do deep moaning if I wanted, and I certainly did at the end) without feeling scared.
I went to the hospital at 3am or so and DD was not born until 7pm and not once in this time did she start to panic. I just a lot of laps around the tiny Labor and Delivery Unit. She made me eat and while I was in the tub did tons of nipple stimulation with the shower head that could come off the wall. That was actually like torture in some way it made the ctx sooo intense, and she would cheerfully say "just a couple more minutes you can do it!" It was annoying and funny.
So when it came to pushing is where I was not so thrilled and looking back it bothers me even more.
I started pushing when I was only around 6cm because I really felt the urge and she was totally encouraging about it. However, I spent a lot of time in tub and I felt like she was checking my cervix all the time. She even checked during a ctx, although in some ways it was helpful because she said she felt me open from a 6 to almost 7 in one ctx which was encouraging to me. When I got out of the tub I kneeled and held the back of the bed which was completely upright and pushed that way for a while...More cervix checking during that, oh and at this point they were using the stupid EFM (a portable one at least) on almost EVERY contraction. They were doing it all the time and it was somewhat annoying.
Finally she put me in the semi-reclining position for the final stage. Once again she had her fingers up in me what seemed like a ton. She was like pushing her fingers around DD's head (I could see in a mirror I requested) while DD was coming down the birth canal. I don't know if there was a lip of cervix or something she was trying to push past, I don't know a ton about those kinds of lips (haha that sounded stupid to me but I don't know how to word it) and I didn't give it much thought. I was also tearing pretty badly, she didn't do an episiotomy thank goodness. As DD was crowing they were STILL using the stupid EFM every single ctx (the nurse was) and MW was still doing something with her fingers around me. I honestly feel like part of the reason I tore so bad is because she was pushing them inside me past DD's head for some reason.
MW also used olive oil I believe in some capacity I don't know what though. Finally DD came out and I had a PPH that required multiple injections of pit and super intense uterine massage. Very painful and she literally pulled the placenta out of me! I was not cool with that. DD's cord was also clamped immediately, not what I wanted but I guess necessary because of the PPH.
Finally she dumped a bowl of really hot water all over me right after DD was born. It hurt like @%@^%# and one of the nurse's actually said to the MW "what are you doing!?" because I cried out in pain.
Soo looking back on it, I feel like there was way more going on than was necessary, the EFM (probably hospital policy though) was never strapped on me but they checked me with it all the time which was very distracting and the constant hands inside me and finally the way the final pushing part went. It was just so much more than I feel like I want now.
I love her, she is great but I am wondering if maybe there could be a better MW out there for me? DH will not ever be cool with a HB because of how much blood he saw pouring out of me, he admits now that he was really really scared I was going to be in serious trouble, and I don't want to do one if he isn't comfortable..
I am so sorry this turned into a novel, it is still an emotional thing that I haven't examined enough I think. Would you be comfortable using the same MW and just talking about it or would that have been too much medical intervention for you in general? I'm just curious if people would have been disappointed by all of it?