Originally Posted by Ldavis24
I agree, don't get me wrong, I would deal with and endure anything to ensure my baby was born safely....but, if I can make sure my baby is born safely and in such a way that it only enhances the well-being of baby and mama and it is a life-changing event for the whole family, why wouldn't I want that? This is a new thing to me but apparently it is selfish to want both and not just be content being in a hospital and being treated like there is always a major problem peeking around the corner. People really do you think you are selfish for wanting a healthy baby AND....and whatever it is that each individual mama wants, it is the AND that people get really worked up about.
They DO get really worked up about that AND, don't they?? What "they" (those who don't have that "I want more than fine" ideal) don't seem to realize is that ultimately the "AND details" are in the best interest of everyone involved. And that includes any birth attendants we choose to have present. IMHO, it's a given that it's in the best interest of our babies, ourselves, and our families. How can educating ourselves and being stronger and more confident mamas with ideals be detrimental?
We're congratulated for being well-prepared and educated consumers in pretty much every other field of consumerism - and we ARE consumers in the industry of obstetrics & maternity & midwifery and such - but torn down for it as mothers who know what they want. Illogical at best!!
Sorry - guess that's a bit off topic from the OP's original thoughts and questions, but my point is to validate her desire for more understanding of her first birth which will hopefully lead to an even more fulfilling 2nd birthing experience for everyone... Her dh deserves to go through a birth that doesn't leave him fearing the loss of his wife and child as much s she deserves to have MORE than "fine". If the mw had (thought to, been able to, been willing to) talked them both through what was happening, he too would have benefitted from that info, so hopefully this next birth will fill in a lot of blanks for the whole family.
Just saying. :)