Best books/sites etc to recommend (for young mom I don't really know)

[Dahlea]

My brother got a girl pregnant-she's young and still in college. I have never met her, but we have started emailing each other. I really want to help her look at all her options and not just use "what to expect" as her bible. I'm a whole lot crunchier than the rest of my family, so I'm struggling with things to suggest, because I don't want to be pushy and I don't want to scare her/push her the other way.
What books/links/ etc would be the best to share with this young pregnant girl? I figured the Dr. Sears books are a good place to start. TIA!

[Jayray]

I agree with the Dr. Sears books thought.  I think his books are easy to read and provide the good info without seeming pushy.

[LaurenAnanas]

I didn't see or hear of it until halfway through my second pregnancy, but I think "Pregnancy, Birth, and the Newborn" by Penny Simkin and a few other people is very good and quite balanced. It's positive, upbeat without being silly, and very informative.

[jenniferadurham]

I just started a thread about this...I must have skipped rout over yours. Go in there if you get a chance, there have been a few book rec's. Isn't it hard being 'crunchy'-er than the people around you?!?! I want her to do what's right...not what 'they' tell her to do...ugh.

[briannas auntie]

My sister really liked "The Pregnancy Book" by. Dr. Sears, and "Your Pregnancy, Week By Week".  I got these two books for her (with the help of my mom) when she first announced she was pregnant.  She especially liked Dr. Sears book, because there was a journal-like section after each chapter that you could write in.

As for childbirth books, even though I haven't had a child yet, I recently got 2 books on Amazon.com that are really good if your friend is looking toward a natural childbirth: "Birthing From Within" by. Pam England and "Active Birth" by. Janet Balaskas.  My sister liked "The Birth Book" by. Dr. Sears.  I was reading some quotes from the Birthing From Within book to my friend today as we were on a drive today, and we both agreed that it is a great book!

For breastfeeding books, I got my sister "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" and "The Nursing Mother's Companion", and she really liked these books, especially since they had troubleshooting tips for new moms. 

Hope this helps your friend!!

[mareseatoats]

I was 19 (and single) when I had my daughter. I really liked the Dr Sears Pregnancy and Baby books, "The Thinking Women's Guide to a Better Birth", "Birthing from Within" and please give her "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", although I wouldn't give her "Spiritual Midwifery" if she's iffy on the natural route, because it has some births in a bus and babies that die, and I just found it a little out of my comfort zone at the time.  But Ina May's Guide is the one that changed everything for me. I can't recommend it enough.

The Business of Being Born is a great movie, too (and available on instant play on Netflix).

[Italiamom]

First, I'd email and ASK her if she'd like some book recommendations.  "I'm sure the whole family is all over you right now, and I don't want to over-step your boundaries, but there were some books and movies that were really helpful to me in my pregnancy(ies).  Let me know if you might have the time or interest, and I'll send you a list!"

This acknowledges the fact that, even though she's young, she might be capable of getting her own books.  And she's also in college!  Just by understanding that she's busy, or capable, or both, is validating.  I know that I'm more inclined to trust or take advice from people who first validate my experience.

And then yes, as a PP said, I think "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" is a great one.  It has good, practical information, lots of references to studies that are easily confirmed (if she's a study nut), and it has great birth stories too, which really set it apart from the pack.  Women need to hear positive birth stories, although I agree with the PP who said that Spiritual Midwifery (while amazing) might be too overwhelming at first.

[Dahlea]

Originally Posted by Italiamom 

First, I'd email and ASK her if she'd like some book recommendations.  "I'm sure the whole family is all over you right now, and I don't want to over-step your boundaries, but there were some books and movies that were really helpful to me in my pregnancy(ies).  Let me know if you might have the time or interest, and I'll send you a list!"

This acknowledges the fact that, even though she's young, she might be capable of getting her own books.  And she's also in college!  Just by understanding that she's busy, or capable, or both, is validating.  I know that I'm more inclined to trust or take advice from people who first validate my experience.

And then yes, as a PP said, I think "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" is a great one.  It has good, practical information, lots of references to studies that are easily confirmed (if she's a study nut), and it has great birth stories too, which really set it apart from the pack.  Women need to hear positive birth stories, although I agree with the PP who said that Spiritual Midwifery (while amazing) might be too overwhelming at first.

Yes, I am asking because she is interested in my recommendations. I already told her I'm not trying to push an agenda, I just realize that there are more mainstream sources available, and not everyone realizes there is another route. I fully understand that she's a person, even though she's young-I just put that out there in case other young mamas had good ideas. Being 8 years older than her and 2 children, I know I have a different mindset, which is why I want to approach carefully.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by Dahlea 

Yes, I am asking because she is interested in my recommendations. I already told her I'm not trying to push an agenda, I just realize that there are more mainstream sources available, and not everyone realizes there is another route. I fully understand that she's a person, even though she's young-I just put that out there in case other young mamas had good ideas. Being 8 years older than her and 2 children, I know I have a different mindset, which is why I want to approach carefully.

See, and this changes things entirely.  Your first post was pretty short, so I didn't know whether she had asked for advice and books.  I was by no means trying to imply that you were overstepping, or being too pushy.  As a young college mom myself, DH's family barraged me books and advice that I didn't want, and didn't ask for.  I got 4 copies of "What To Expect..."  NO THANK YOU!  So when I see posts about young mamas, I always try to pipe up and make sure that folks have asked.  It can save a whole lot of grief, and put you in a way better position to get listened to, you know?

If she's asked for your recommendations, then it means that she really, really trusts you, and is very likely trying to form a bond with you.  And in that case, you should point her toward the books, movies, and advice that meant the most to you, and really helped shape your experience.  There are great recommendations here, of course, but asking someone for advice is a big deal when you're pregnant.  Especially young and pregnant!  What things really helped to shape your alternate viewpoints on birth and motherhood?  If she came to you, then those are what she's seeking.  She's seeking your preference, your wisdom, your favorites!!