Because of court, visitation, etc etc stress, I have not been able to keep up with my school work at all. I'm only taking two classes this semester, but they're difficult ones. I'm not good with serious stress...I just shut down and sleep. I hate it. And to top it off, I was supposed to go to court this week and have my divorce finalized and everything done and over with...and the court date got postponed. It seems like this never ends. It has been over two years. I decided today to drop my classes...there's no way I can do well right now. I'm going to pick them up again in the summer, and in the mean time I have my books and projects and everything so I'm going to work at my own pace through it so I have a head start and good understanding of the material for the summer semesters. I am extremely disappointed though...this is not like me. I am a very good student, under normal circumstances anyway. Part of my disappointment I think is because my major is something my ex told me not to bother with because I'm not good enough to pursue it (computer science). I'm not a math whiz, so he told me many times over the years that I shouldn't even bother. Well, I WANT to do it. I know I can do it. I guess dropping these two classes makes me feel like he "won" somehow. I am struggling not to cry here at work. I don't even want to tell my boyfriend or anyone... I put a huge amount of emphasis on education (not necessarily in school...I would love to stay home and homeschool my son if I could) and intelligence...huge...and I feel like this is going to make me look incapable. Especially since I am a female working in a male-dominated field (IT), I feel like it could make me look weak if my supervisor asks how my semester went and I have to tell him (I can't lie). I also worry about how I'm going to pay for two classes over the summer since financial aid only applies to the regular school year, not summer classes. I am very unhappy about all of this...
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