Which hospital to use as a backup to my UC plans?

[riverview9]

I want a UC  but am not fully commited. Please don't get mad for me asking this here. I was planning a homebirth and took 2 months to decide on which midwife and am still not happy with any of the many options. Realized I can't afford a midwife and am not picking between hospitals. I really want a UC more than I can express. If UC plans fall through and I have to go to a hospital I'm not sure which to pick. I'm 15 weeks with no prenatal care and need to pick a provider soon.

closest hospital is 10 minutes away. I could labor at home as long as possible (like I did with my last) and be at the hospital for about an hour just to deliver. The midwives have left the hospital and the doctors have a bad reputation (not sure why). They have one female doctor who happens to be a doctor of osteopath. I think she is my best bet.

A hospital 45 minutes away is highly recomended by many natural moms. They have a midwife practice. My only problem is that it is so far away I would have to head to hospital early in labor. Laboring at a hospital is stressful to me (maybe everyone?).

I want to pick a hospital as a back up in case I choose not to UC before the big day. If I had to transfer during UC I would of course go to the closest. When I think of birthing at either hospital I start crying and have an anxiety attack. I want to birth at home and alone. I just can't fully commit and say 'yes, without a doubt I WILL UC'. If that was the case I would go to the closest provider to save time on travel to prenatal appts

[ElizabethE]

Originally Posted by riverview9 

I want a UC  but am not fully commited. Please don't get mad for me asking this here. I was planning a homebirth and took 2 months to decide on which midwife and am still not happy with any of the many options. Realized I can't afford a midwife and am not picking between hospitals. I really want a UC more than I can express. If UC plans fall through and I have to go to a hospital I'm not sure which to pick. I'm 15 weeks with no prenatal care and need to pick a provider soon.

closest hospital is 10 minutes away. I could labor at home as long as possible (like I did with my last) and be at the hospital for about an hour just to deliver. The midwives have left the hospital and the doctors have a bad reputation (not sure why). They have one female doctor who happens to be a doctor of osteopath. I think she is my best bet.

A hospital 45 minutes away is highly recomended by many natural moms. They have a midwife practice. My only problem is that it is so far away I would have to head to hospital early in labor. Laboring at a hospital is stressful to me (maybe everyone?).

I want to pick a hospital as a back up in case I choose not to UC before the big day. If I had to transfer during UC I would of course go to the closest. When I think of birthing at either hospital I start crying and have an anxiety attack. I want to birth at home and alone. I just can't fully commit and say 'yes, without a doubt I WILL UC'. If that was the case I would go to the closest provider to save time on travel to prenatal appts

If it were me, first I would try to uncover why the docs have a bad rep and why the midwives left at that closer hospital. Given how you are feeling, I don't see any true benefits for you in attempting to go to the further away one. Unless you completely give yourself over to a medical birth, drugs and all. Once you're in that environment it's pretty much all or nothing (<that's JMHO-- damage control, prevention of as much pain and suffering as possible, least of the evils, etc. etc.).

If you head to the further hospital earlier in labor, it would most likely prolong your labor and make it more difficult. If you're already having anxiety about the concept of birthing in hospital, this will just increase your suffering overall. Your natural biological physiological responses could kick in and I definitely agree that laboring in-hospital is stressful for everyone (whether they realize it or not). I wouldn't want you to set yourself up for that.

For me, if it seems very dire, I am going to a closer and far less desirable hospital.

If it's not dire (life/death) but yet I still feel some compelling need to get assistance, I will be going to a "better" hospital, which is also about 45 minutes away (like your far hospital).

But for me, I have my heart set on UC.

You need things which will set your mind at ease about anything which awaits you in birth. I think that your next step is research-- one, the hospital nearby, to help put you at ease or at least know what you're getting yourself into with them. Two, majorly research more into UC and just the science of birth in general because I know there is something out there you could find in the way of encouragement or literature that would make you feel more self-assured about it, so that the anxieties and the hospital worries and all the rest of your stresses would seem greatly diminished or even resolved altogether. Being able to arrive at a state where you would be able to fully commit to UC would be a huge relief to you, wouldn't it? :)

[ElizabethE]

*Just for clarity's sake, I understood that the further hospital was more loved by natural moms. I'm just sort of speaking from my own place of doubt that the hospital can ever be a truly stress-free, "natural" environment.

[dayiscoming2006]

I tried a natural mom preferred midwife group in my area and ended up hating it. I felt like the one midwife was rude to me and my family and she was very much - I'm in control but we'll see what we let you decide kind of. I made some decisions but she didn't seem to receive them well. When I refused prenatal rhogam, she said she knew there was probably less than a 1.5% chance of it helping during pregnancy but that there were no risks. I can't imagine that is true. It is a blood product, of course you are taking a risk by receiving a blood product. Then she told me a story of a friend who was making the decision and decided might as well do it since it can't be harmful. It really just annoyed me.

Anyway, just because something is preferred by natural minded moms, doesn't mean it'll be any good. I much prefer the idea of UC. Maybe some prenatal care from that further away hospital could be nice, but I'd plan to birth at home personally, unless something went very wrong.

You can schedule an appointment and see from there maybe. I didn't go to my first appointment until I was 24 weeks pregnant and it didn't seem to be a problem. I'm not going to any further appointments after my latest experience though. So, UP it is for the rest of the pregnancy. 

Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

[tracymom1]

I would find care providers at both hospitals and 'interview' them just to see what they are all about.  Reputation is important to consider, but nothing can influence your feelings more than a face-to-face meeting.  If you are certain you want to receive prenatal care, it is perfectly within your rights to shop around for a provider and hospital you feel comfortable with.  I think that if you are not completely committed to having a UC, then having a provider you know and who knows you is important.  

It seems like you are having some doubts about having the UC, though, and I think that it is important to address those head-on if you truly feel that UCing is what is in your heart.  What is holding you back?  Why do you feel like you want to labor at home and just go to the hospital for the actual birth?  (I'm not asking for answers - just giving you some questions to ask yourself to explore your feelings).

Good luck, mama!

[riverview9]

thanks everyone, I went with the further one. I haven't met the midwife yet.