My husband and I are about to get custody of his 15 year old daughter. He and I have a 3 year old daughter together. I've been trying to find all I can on dealing with teenage stepchildren and getting myself mentally, emotionally and physically prepared for the changes of having my stepdaughter with us full-time.
My question has to do with discipline. First of all, I agree 100% that it should be my husband's job to discipline my stepdaughter. But my husband works in a job that requires a lot of travel. In fact, he'll be in a whole other state for the first nine months after we get custody. So I am going to HAVE to be a disciplinarian, and I am *worried*. She has not been raised well and there are bad habits that will need to be worked through. Like actually doing homework and attending school. She also has been permitted to smoke and drink with her mother's full knowledge. And she has been sexually active for two years.
She is a very sweet and smart girl, but she has had some obvious deficiencies with her upbringing. My DH seems to think there will be no problems, but I am more realistic. I know he will support me fully, but I want to make sure I am prepared before she ever comes to live with us so we can minimize problems. But how am I going to be the one to step in and get her to do her homework and not stay out all night and the like without causing big-time resentment and riffs within the family?