I've been separated from my ex for about a year and a half now. I have my kids about 75% of the time, and I've been working only very sporadically (with a friend's business which is seasonal), so effectively I am a SAHM. Prior to separating, I'd been at home full-time with my kids since they were born.
My ex is a dog (not meaning to insult dogs, but you know what I mean!) on so many levels, but he's been good on financial stuff. I get both child and spousal support. It's a decent amount but of course I have to keep on a budget, pay my mortgage (I bought him out of his half of the house) and generally be very careful- but it's do-able.
Right now I'm struggling with the idea of working. When we first separated, I panicked and started job hunting like mad right away. Early on I had an interview for an excellent job. I'd felt good about the interview, and prior to that I'd never *not* been offered a job I'd interviewed for. Well, lo and behold I didn't get it. Not getting that job really took the wind out of my sails, and since then I've only been half-heartedly job hunting.
I'm torn about the whole SAHM thing. Is it really only do-able for two parent families? Am I being folly in thinking that this is a legitimate option for me? I do feel that I've served my kids very well over the years by being at home (though my ex resented me for it...apparently he was 'embarrased' by being married to an anachronism like me. grr.). They are doing great and have transitioned from the separation really nicely, I think in big part because I worked really hard and fought tooth and nail to keep everything else in their lives intact- and that meant having me at home.
Now though, I'm thinking of working again...in a 'real' job, as opposed to my friend's business, which is very spotty. Part of it is not wanting to be so dependent on the ex (for spousal support), part of it is wanting my own benefits (it's the one reason I'm not prepared to actually divorce him at this point- I have significant medical expenses that wouldn't be covered by his plan if we actually got divorced), part of it is just wanting to enter another stage of my life and take on something new.
Anyhow, all that to say that I'm wondering if there's anyone out there in a similar position...