How do I do a "hard reset" on my 9 month old's system...sleep cycles, overall well-being

[DeChRi]

My 9 month old has been through the health ringer the last 8 months.  We are not at the end, but she is getting more comfortable.  She has been in so much pain, been woken to eat every 1.5 hrs, woken up for meds, etc, etc, that her whole sleep system, ability to unwind, everything is a mess.  She currently isn't really eating at night anymore, nor getting meds at night.  She has a VERY hard time winding down, and nighttime is still an uncomfortable time for her.  It is almost like she has sleep anxiety, if that makes sense.  And she wakes every 20-60 min all night, and will wake for long spurts.  Every time sleep is near, she becomes frantic...clawing, total spaz out, screaming...even when she isn't feeling bad.  I go to a dark room, soothing sounds, baths with epsom salts, massage....but I can't even do the massage and she is on frantic flailing mode.  I simply cannot get her to relax and cannot get her sleep cycles back to anything that resembles normal.

Any suggestions on either issue??

Edited by DeChRi - 3/7/11 at 3:20pm

[NewBeginnings1]

Awwe, this sounds horrible for her and you! Is there absolutely anything that is comforting to her? Are there any ways that she falls asleep without noticing (car rides, walks, etc?) 

I'm not a sleep expert, but if I were in your shoes, I would use whatever means necessary for a few days to ease her fear of falling asleep, even if you have to wean her off of it later. 

[Namaste Amma]

I'm so sorry to hear about the rough start for you and your daughter. I agree with pp. If I were in your shoes I'd take some time to focus on making sleep a positive experience for your daughter. Safe, comfortable, etc. Do you co-sleep? If not, perhaps you could try that. Do you wear her? You could walk her/nurse her to sleep in a carrier. Honestly, I'd stick close by while she's asleep for a while. If she is used to being woken up frequently for unpleasant reasons, she will probably continue to wake up for the time being. If you are right there to comfort her that will help her see she has nothing to be apprehensive about. Hugs, mama.

[DeChRi]

Thus far I cannot find a single way to get her peacefully to sleep.  We do cosleep and I do wear her.  What seems to set her off is a lack of movement.  It is like a switch.  I can have her in the sling, she is peaceful and dozing, I sit down, and instantly she arches, claws screams...like someone stabber her in the bum with a tack.  I stand and keep moving, and she is peaceful again.  She can be so tired her eyes are rolling back in her head, she'll be on my hip, i'll gently ease her head on my shoulder and the second it touches my shoulder it is all over. And the more worked up she gets, the more it sets off some off her gagging/reflux quirks,,,so then she really does make herself physically miserable.  She hates the car (again, being still in one spot is torture for her) and thus far is not a stroller fan.  When she is completely exhausted she crawls to me and wants up, I pick her up, and she starts flailing, writhing, screaming, scratching.  Every. Single. Time.  I have not, a single time, since she was 4 weeks old, been able to cuddle her up and rock her to sleep. It is a beating every time.  My neck, chest and face looks like an angry cat attacked me because she claws in frantic desperation.  That is my best word...she gets frantic.  Some of it is physical discomfort that she just notices more because she isn't distracted.  But much is anxiety.  I have pulled out every trick from my first two kids and nothing.  And it is just getting worse. 

Good suggestions though, that maybe I stop "trying" to get her down and just put her up in the back pack of something and keep moving and see if she crashes there.  Part of my problem is pain and fatigue in my body.  I am in darn good shape but danged if my body is not totally beaten.  Months of no sleep, manhandling her for so many months while she flails and needs held and managed at night, sleeping with her in whatever position is comfy for her at that moment, and holding her in all kinds of ways all day long, plus the total inability to sit with her because she freaks out.    The Dr at one point prescribed Atarax to help some reactions going on in her GI tract...it is similar to Benedryl and that said that it would also likely knock her out.  It didn't even phase her.  By bedtime I am at that point of "I really dont think I can physically pick her up one more time today".

I try to sneak attack her to sleep for awhile and see if that helps break the cycle at least. :)

[Namaste Amma]

Sounds like a nightmare! I don't know your daughter's health history, but her sleep reminds me a great deal of my daughter's, particularly before we realized she had a soy and dairy allergy. Is it at all possible that she has a food allergy at play here?