DD's first grade teacher assistant pulled out her "not so wiggly" tooth without permission!!!

[Mom2Fin]

Let me start by saying that I also work at my daughter's public elementary school. I am a TA for first grade in the classrooms across from her first grade room. I like the school we're at, never had any problems, other than her teacher gives waaaaaay too much seatwork (I am a Montessori teacher at heart.) and dd complains of being bored...

With that being said, I am ALWAYS around, and like to keep a watchful eye on what's going on. So, this morning dd came into my classroom smiling and holding a tissue in her mouth. I asked her if her tooth had come out and she said that Mrs. X had pulled it. Now, this tooth was just SOMEWHAT wiggly. Not even to the point that I thought it was close to being ready to come out. I asked her if it hur when it came out, she said no and about that time Mrs. X came in and started telling me that the tooth didn't want to come out but she pulled really hard and it popped really loud.

So, the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I am a TA as well but would NEVER, EVER  think about pulling out a child's tooth. I worry about how long it will take for another one to come in (there isn't a permanant one in sight) and if she could have possibly done damage...

I am not an overbearing/worrying mom. Quite the opposite, very laid back and lax so should I be upset that she did this without my permission or should I let it go? I did think about talking to her but being that I work along side of her, don't really want to ruffle any feathers... I need advice!

[sapphire_chan]

I'd give the teacher some information on dry socket, watch out for it in your child, and take the teacher to court if dry socket does develop.

It probably won't, and I certainly hope it won't, but that's what the teacher was risking by doing that.

[One_Girl]

Dry socket seems to be something that happens when a permanent tooth is removed, mainly the wisdom tooth.  Baby teeth don't have the same root system.  Having a tooth pulled out by a teacher is exciting the first time, but it can be very scary after that.  My first grade teacher used to pull teeth out when they were wiggly and I got to the point where I was terrified to have a wiggly tooth.  I still can't watch a tooth wiggle without cringing and remembering the pain.  I would be very angry if a teacher removed anything from my child's body, our school district doesn't even allow them to remove splinters, they must be seen by the school nurse for that.  Because you also have to keep good co-worker relations I suggest holding back any anger you are feeling and telling the teacher and the assistant (in person or via e-mail) that you don't want them pulling her teeth out again no matter how wiggly they are.  Stress that you have a dentist and that you prefer to let nature take its course.

[sapphire_chan]

Glad to hear that it doesn't happen with baby teeth!

[ssh]

Wow, that sounds really illegal. Schools stopped letting students use over the counter meds because of liability issues. I'd ask the principal or someone in charge about the liability involved here. The individual and the school could end up being sued over something like this. I've never heard of school employees pulling out wiggly teeth.

[WantRice]

Sued over a loose baby tooth being pulled out? What is this world coming to? 

Some people have a personal belief that baby teeth should never be pulled. Fine. If I were one of those people, I'd probably be mildly annoyed. But really? The OP's child was happy about it and it's not like the teacher held her down and pulled it out against her will. So exactly what damage has been done here?

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by WantRice 

Sued over a loose baby tooth being pulled out? What is this world coming to? 

Some people have a personal belief that baby teeth should never be pulled. Fine. If I were one of those people, I'd probably be mildly annoyed. But really? The OP's child was happy about it and it's not like the teacher held her down and pulled it out against her will. So exactly what damage has been done here?

I think the issue was that the tooth wasn't all that loose, the teacher had to exert some heavy force, and that the adult tooth doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight.  I suspect that if the tooth was truly ready to come out the OP's DD could have tugged it out herself without needing the force of an adult to do it.

[CarrieMF]

The tooth wasn't all that loose the last time the mom saw her child.  A child can wiggle a tooth enough during class for it to become loose enough to be pulled out.

If the tooth wasn't all that loose it wouldn't have come out. 

[Llyra]

I don't think the teacher should have done it. Probably if you pursued it, the teacher would wind up in some trouble over it. That said, I also don't think it's important enough to make a huge issue out of it, especially if the child isn't upset. In your place, I would probably go , carefully review with DD that she has a right to assert personal boundaries about other people touching her body, and then I'd let it go. Unless there was a history of problems with the teacher, or the child was very upset, or there were other things I was concerned about in this classroom, I don't see it as all that terribly important. Though I do agree that the teacher had no right to pull it.

[Lucy Alden]

Originally Posted by Llyra 

I don't think the teacher should have done it. Probably if you pursued it, the teacher would wind up in some trouble over it. That said, I also don't think it's important enough to make a huge issue out of it, especially if the child isn't upset. In your place, I would probably go , carefully review with DD that she has a right to assert personal boundaries about other people touching her body, and then I'd let it go. Unless there was a history of problems with the teacher, or the child was very upset, or there were other things I was concerned about in this classroom, I don't see it as all that terribly important. Though I do agree that the teacher had no right to pull it.

I'm with Llyra on this.  I'm surprised there isn't a policy regarding handling open wounds and bodily fluids.  In our nursery at church we have to wear disposable gloves and sanitize the changing pad just to change a diaper.

[ssh]

I still think you should inform some one in charge because this is a liability issue for the school. If or when it happens again the school could be sued. If you don't want to cause trouble for the person, take her aside and let her know that what she did probably violates school regulations about the handling of bodily fluids and rules about giving medical attention without permission. You could nicely and quietly let her know that she and the school could get in a lot of trouble for doing something like that. Some one else mentioned that they're surprised there isn't a policy about handling of bodily fluids. I'm sure there is.  Every public school has one.

[Pariah]

I'll be honest, that would really upset me. I'm not at all the sue-happy type...in fact, I'm non-confrontational to a fault. But there is no reason for a teacher to do what she did. Even if the child requested it for some strange reason, health concerns should make the teacher refuse. The teacher has no idea what your child's health background is, and you have no idea about the teacher's health, and she's messing around with saliva and potentially blood. That just has stupid written all over it, I'm sorry. And I agree about the boundaries thing...that is a total invasion of the "personal bubble," and this is coming from someone who is the huggy-type.

[choli]

Originally Posted by WantRice 

Sued over a loose baby tooth being pulled out? What is this world coming to? 

Some people have a personal belief that baby teeth should never be pulled. Fine. If I were one of those people, I'd probably be mildly annoyed. But really? The OP's child was happy about it and it's not like the teacher held her down and pulled it out against her will. So exactly what damage has been done here?

No damage to the child - the tooth would not have come out without tools if it was not ready to come out.

I'd let it go.
 

[earthmama369]

See, that's not true. If you pull hard enough on a slightly loose tooth, it will come out.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF 

The tooth wasn't all that loose the last time the mom saw her child.  A child can wiggle a tooth enough during class for it to become loose enough to be pulled out.

If the tooth wasn't all that loose it wouldn't have come out. 

I would have a problem with it because a) hello, I'M the parent and b) baby teeth act as place holders for the adult teeth. My daughter has an enamel defect and had extensive dental surgery at age 4. One of the unfortunate results of having her bottom front four teeth pulled at that point is that she didn't have those teeth as place holders for long enough and her bottom front adult teeth are not going to have enough room to come in correctly. Her first grade teacher doesn't know about her dental history because it has no bearing on her education at this point. I can't imagine a teacher or TA sticking their fingers in my child's mouth and pulling a slightly loose tooth out just because. If I were across the hall, it makes even less sense. I mean, I'm going to see my daughter in a matter of hours. The OP is *right there* across the hall. If that happened with my daughter, because of her dental history, we would have to go in for a consult with her dentist and possibly make plans for orthodontic correction down the line. It could be a big deal. Ignorance would be no excuse for the TA, imo.

[Mom2Fin]

Thanks for all of your concerns. I did talk to the ta last night on the phone after I called our principal (Who I know well) and let him know what was happening. He completely had my back, telling me that I had every right as a parent to be upset. My biggest concern was the fact that she had her hands in my dd's mouth without gloves!!!! I was also concerned for the ta in the fact that she or the school system COULD be sued, especially if something were to happen to the child (bleeding disorder or tooth should crack)

She was surprised that I had a concern, saying that she pulls out teeth in the classroom all the time. I told her my thoughts and that I would rather her not pull any more of my dd's teeth. She was very understanding yet not apologetic at all thinking that I was upset because I wanted to pull it! I told her that dd had asked all weekend for us to pull it and more than one adult told her it wasn't ready. I spoke with the principal again this morning at school and we decided for him to send out an email about not touching a child's mouth :-) The ta seemed fine this morning but I was very clear to herthat she was not to pull any more of my dd's teeth!

Thanks for all the fast responses!

[mattemma04]

That is weird on her part.Pulls teeth out all the time? Maybe she has some *inner* need to do it.Some people have odd obsessions.

The lady needs to keep her hands to herself.

Any no gloves on top of that?  Yuck.

My kids have always managed to pull lose teeth.She was out of line to forcibly pull a  somewhat loose tooth.Again, I think she might have issues.
 

Originally Posted by Mom2Fin 

She was surprised that I had a concern, saying that she pulls out teeth in the classroom all the time.

[ramama]

I'd be upset.  I wouldn't have been crazy-upset, but certainly bothered by it.  First, if the tooth had been bothering your DD, the teacher could have a) sent her to the school nurse or b) sent her to see you since you were across the hall.  Maybe it's me, since loose teeth squick me out *big time*, but I would never pull out someone else's tooth, not even my own daughters' LOL.

I do disagree that the tooth wouldn't have come out if it weren't ready to come out.  DD was so excited to loose her first tooth that she yanked it out of her head way way way before it should have come out.  The blood was out of this world.  I know mouth wounds bleed a lot, but this was A LOT.

[jeanine123]

I also would have been upset if anyone pulled out one of my child's teeth without my permission. I don't send my child to school to have his teeth pulled out because some TA decides it's ready.  And yes, if enough force was placed on the tooth it would have come out even if it weren't ready.  My oldest son lost a barely lose tooth one evening when he hit his little brother's head too hard.  Lots of crying and a fair amount of blood with that.  And the adult tooth didn't come in until about 5 months later.  I think you took the right approach by talking to the principle about it, especially after the TA didn't express any concern with her actions. 

[StephandOwen]

Personally? If my kid wasn't upset I would let it go. If my kid was upset I would make more of a stink, but I've got so many other things to worry about that if the kid was happy with it, that's good enough for me. Now if my kid came home crying about how his teacher pulled his tooth while he screamed that he didn't want it happening..... then I would go all mama bear on that teacher! But no tears, no problem.

As for the "no permanent tooth in sight" thing.... ds has 2 teeth that he lost (fell out on their own, weren't pulled) in September and October. There are still no replacements coming in. The two teeth he lost a few months before those are just starting to peek through. Just goes to show that the new tooth is not always right there, ready to come down.

[Subhuti]

Our daughter told me that her school nurse pulled hers out this year.  She seemed blase about it, so I just kind of internally shrugged.  Personally, I thought it was a little odd for anyone to pull her tooth out, what's the rush ?... but with all the things to worry about in this blessed world, who really cares?

Besides, I really like our school nurse.  She always welcomes my daughter when she takes her frequent strolls to the nurses office because of a stomach ache or (once) a "burning bottom"  :)